DEAR MISS MANNERS: My first name has two common spellings with a variation of just one letter (think “Meghan” vs. “Megan”). I started a new job two years ago, and my co-workers only use the correct spelling about half the time.

If these were new acquaintances or people I see rarely, it wouldn’t bother me, as both spellings are common, and my name is pronounced the same either way. But these are people I see every day, and who see my name written correctly every day (we do a lot of email). My patience is starting to run thin because it grates on me every time they get it wrong.

As strange as it sounds, the extra letter means a lot to me. When the other spelling is used, I get the strange feeling that someone else is being addressed. It’s not “me.”

Since this is likely to seem insignificant to others, is there a way I can address it without seeming petty? Is there any wording you can recommend to ask people to spell my name correctly? Or should I just try to let it go?

GENTLE READER: The right combination of tact, humility and helpful mnemonics is essential here -- both for making your point and for having it stick. Miss Manners suggests a memo to the company with something like, “I know that there has been some confusion about the proper spelling of my name, so I wanted to let everyone know that it is, in fact, Meghan, like the duchess. I will update the database.”

And then, perhaps, invest in a name plaque for your desk so that passersby can surreptitiously check when they inevitably forget.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Help! Our granddaughter is about to be married. Now my husband is saying he is not going. He doesn’t like the time, the food and the necessity to make small talk with people he doesn’t know.

He really does hate such events, and usually I just go without him to various functions, but this is our granddaughter’s wedding. Saying too much will only make him more determined not to go.

Our daughter and granddaughter will be so upset, not to mention how I will be embarrassed by his absence. What can I say to people who ask where he is, without making him seem like a total jerk?

GENTLE READER: “I am afraid that he was not feeling up to it.” You need not explain that what he was not feeling up to was behaving graciously to avoid hurting his family.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My close friend is married to a woman who is very critical of him in front of his friends, often in emasculating ways. She sometimes seems like she wants me to go along with it (maybe in female solidarity?), but he never seems to try to get anyone to take sides.

What can I say to make it clear that I think her criticisms are wrong, she should not talk to him that way, and she definitely shouldn’t do it in front of his friends?

GENTLE READER: Politely defend him. “Oh, really? I’ve found Pierre’s confusion about auto mechanics utterly relatable. I don’t understand that stuff at all.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it proper etiquette always to use a euphemism for the word “toilet,” as in, “Excuse me, where is the bathroom (or restroom, etc.)?” Has the word “toilet” become vulgar?

GENTLE READER: In regards to bodily functions, the less graphic the language, the more polite it is. But toilet, which refers to the room as well as the plumbing, does not generally fall under any ban. Miss Manners has no objection to alternative words if they make you, or the person you are questioning, more comfortable. But be aware that in some English-speaking countries and in some foreign languages, “toilet” is actually preferred.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I paid in advance when I gave a dinner party for 30 people for a special occasion, and only 26 people attended.

Would it have been all right to ask to take the four extra dinners home? Or is it not permissible? Just curious.

GENTLE READER: Your relationship with the guests who did not attend is governed by a different set of manners from your relationship with the establishment you paid to feed them. The latter is a matter of business, meaning that if you paid for 30 meals, it is not unreasonable to expect to receive 30 meals.

Miss Manners says this while recognizing that the higher class the establishment considers itself to be, the harder they will make it to take possession of the leftover pot roast.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When receiving an invitation to a 50th wedding anniversary party, which indicates “no gifts,” is it appropriate to give one anyway?

My sister in Pennsylvania says they always give one dollar for every year of marriage as a gift. I say it is inappropriate, and will offend the couple (especially if they have a lavish affair and are moderately affluent).

GENTLE READER: Because gifts should not be expected, Miss Manners objects to instructions for or against them being included in invitations. But a guest on the receiving end of such an admonition should comply. If you really cannot help yourself, then mail a real gift -- not cash, and refrain from bringing it to the event -- and apologize: “I’m so sorry, I was so excited about your anniversary that I bought the gift before I saw the invitation.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: John Smith, our close friend, has been exclusively with Jane Doe for eight years, but they are not living together. We are not friends with her.

Do we address his invitation “John Smith and guest,” or “John Smith and Jane Doe”? I was worried that “John Smith and guest” would be thought of as an insult to him, since we have socialized with both of them about two or three years ago. Which is proper?

GENTLE READER: Couples are treated as a social unit on invitations, but these days, what is a couple? Married, certainly. Living together as more than roommates, yes, although Miss Manners cannot help you guess whether the latter condition is being fulfilled.

Couples who have been dating for eight years likely believe they qualify and, as Mr. Smith is a close friend, that is the safest course. “And guest” would be insulting to her, but Miss Manners hopes that your friend is not one of those who, though themselves unwilling to make legal or financial commitments to a partner, are prone to take insult if others don’t understand the situation.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a bad habit of interrupting people. My mom says that every time I interrupt people, I owe her one dollar. I need help and advice.

GENTLE READER: “Listen to your mother” has evidently not worked, which is why she is upping the stakes. Your mother is guessing that eventually the cost of noncompliance will force a change in behavior. Miss Manners’ advice is therefore either to stop interrupting or to stop spending -- so you can pay your mother.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a dear, older friend who is celebrating her 50th wedding anniversary. I’ve offered to help throw her a party after it became clear her kids wouldn’t be doing that.

But we could have a problem on our hands. She has invited 100 or so friends to a resort, and wants everyone to join her and her (very nice) husband for dinner. I’m putting together her invitations and doing all the coordinating.

She has instructed me that she wants this to be a no-host dinner -- she’s inviting people who will be paying hotel, transportation and other expenses in a pricey area -- and then asking them to pay their way through dinner, as well. It’s a little awkward, and I can’t help wondering how she will be received.

GENTLE READER: Your friend has co-opted you into abetting her own rudeness: One does not throw parties to honor oneself, much less expect other people to pay for them.

Miss Manners sees that, having come this far, you cannot easily back out. But she suggests you think of yourself as the servant -- a passive, and therefore not responsible, pair of hands -- while cultivating an inconspicuous disposition.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We are a retired couple who received an invitation that read: “John and Jane Doe request the honor of your presence to celebrate Event 1, Event 2, Event 3.” (All of the above had already occurred when we got the invitation.) “RSVP. Dress to impress.”

We are not familiar with “dress to impress.” What is the correct attire for such an occasion? Is this a new term?

GENTLE READER: While your would-be hosts did not themselves invent “dress to impress,” they, like everyone else using the phrase, have failed to supply a useful definition.

Miss Manners does not count “Oh, wear whatever makes you comfortable” -- the likely answer to a closer inquiry -- as useful. She is inclined to say that those who invent vocabulary have only themselves to blame when the people with whom they are supposedly communicating cannot divine the intended meaning.

But she realizes that this still leaves the would-be guest standing in front of the closet with a blank expression. If the host truly cannot supply a meaning, then consult with other guests, if possible, and dress for the occasion: Weddings are more formal than potluck dinners. Fortunately, in this case your host has spared you from any consequences by sending the invitation after the events occurred.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)