DEAR MISS MANNERS: When new acquaintances invite us to their homes for a visit, is there a kind way of asking in advance whether they have large, muscular, needy or excitable dogs -- and if so, can they be excluded from the visit, at the very least until we have had the opportunity to “get to know” their pets?

Clearly, most dog owners are completely comfortable having their pets indoors, as are many of their guests. However, those of us who do not own dogs are usually not quite so at ease around them, especially at the first encounter.

I am not allergic to dogs. I have often thoroughly enjoyed the companionship of well-mannered dogs who display an even disposition. But I have had just about as much being yipped at, growled at, snapped at, slobbered on, sniffed, nuzzled, licked, nipped at and pawed by “the sweetest creatures in the world, who will be just fine once they get used to you” as I care to have!

GENTLE READER: Unfortunately, a guest can no more ask her host to lock the family pet away for the duration than she can ask the same for the resident toddler -- even a toddler known for sticking his fingers into everything on the hors d’oeuvre tray.

Dog owners who were about to applaud Miss Manners for equating Rover and Robin should be warned that she was doing so to make her point, not to anthropomorphize whichever one was the dog in that example. She is willing to acknowledge that dog owners love their dogs very much without agreeing that good manners allows them to be inflicted on visitors.

What then, as a guest, can you do with the misbehaving host of a misbehaving animal? Dramatize your discomfort by squirming, backing away or moving your seat. Such overt actions will cause any reasonable hosts to reevaluate their actions -- with luck, before you have to lock yourself in the bathroom or leave.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was visiting a large city, staying at an inn where guests all gathered for breakfast. Each morning, someone invariably yelled across the room to me, “Where are you from?” followed by more questions, such as “Why are you here?” And then “Let me tell you about this city.”

I am shy and introverted in the morning, and felt very uncomfortable announcing my life story to the breakfast room. Finally, I pretended I didn’t hear and looked out the window. What to say?

GENTLE READER: Yours is the polite and practical solution: polite because venues with common tables expect the guests to introduce themselves and to mingle, and practical because cowering in one’s room over a boiled egg is not much fun.

Miss Manners does not suggest there is ever an excuse for yelling at someone over breakfast, unless, perhaps, the person who is being addressed is hard of hearing, which is what you are pretending to be. If necessary, you can pretend not to understand and reply that it is, indeed, a lovely day.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My best friend of several years and I are going to different colleges this fall, and will not see much of each other anymore. We want to keep in touch. I am close with her family; her parents are like an aunt and uncle to me.

Two years ago, we had an optional band trip, which cost right around $800. I was not going to go because my family couldn’t afford it, and then I was told that someone had paid the whole amount for me to go on the trip. I went and had a great time, especially with my friend.

After thinking about it, I realized that my friend’s parents were probably behind the anonymous gift, and my friend confirmed it when I asked. Should I acknowledge their generosity with a thank-you card?

It meant a lot to me that I got to go on that trip. And I feel that if I’m going to send a card, I should do it before I go to college. But it also has been two years, and since I wasn’t supposed to know it was them, I never said anything about it.

I don’t want to make them uncomfortable, since it was anonymous, but I also don’t want their generosity to go unrecognized. What would you suggest?

GENTLE READER: Circumstances have changed. Had you realized at the time that your friend’s parents were paying your expenses, you would have been obliged to protest. That is why they kept it from you.

But there is no question of that now. You have much for which to thank them -- not just the $800 -- and Miss Manners is pleased to see that you are eager to do so.

She trusts that you do not really mean to send a card -- some pre-printed thanks -- but a heartfelt letter. The thrust of it should be that they have been, as you said, like an aunt and uncle to you. You should mention your enjoyment of that trip as an example, adding that you were too naive at the time to realize that of course they were your benefactors.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My twin and I like to dress alike on Sundays, on holidays, when we go out of town, when we go on cruises, and at banquets. We are 65 years of age and very stylish. We were unable to do this when we were raising our children.

Apparently this annoys some people. We have had folks make rude remarks such as, “Are you still dressing alike?” I usually say that I did not get the memo.

Why do people care? Is there a rule out there that says we cannot dress alike at a certain age? We enjoy doing it and have similar tastes.

GENTLE READER: Why anyone should care is a good question, but so is why you should care what rude people say.

Miss Manners suggests a rehearsed response. Look intently at each other’s outfits as if seeing them for the first time, and say in unison, “I like your dress.” Even the silliest busybody should understand that you dress to please yourselves.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I moved to a beautiful home in a beautiful neighborhood. We’ve worked hard and saved for years, and it is a dream come true for us.

That being said, we know that for many in our social circle, hard work is just not enough. We recognize that we have been very lucky and privileged in so many ways that others have not.

When people visit for the first time, there’s usually a wide-eyed moment of “Wow! This is an amazing house/neighborhood!” I never know if I should just say “thank you” (though I certainly can’t take credit for the community’s beauty!) or something along the lines of “I know! Aren’t we lucky?” or “I’m glad you like it. We do, too!”

I also feel a little self-conscious, thinking that they are wondering how we can afford this, or maybe feeling jealous that we live like this when many of our friends are struggling.

A lot of old neighbors, friends and co-workers are asking to “come by and see the new place,” but I’m a little afraid to invite them because I don’t know how to behave. (So far, we’ve just hosted a few close friends and relatives.) How do I entertain without feeling like I’m showing off?

GENTLE READER: If you have good reason to believe that certain people begrudge you your pleasure in your new house, don’t invite them.

But Miss Manners hopes that you do not assume this to be the natural general reaction. Many people do not regard good fortune as a zero-sum game, and actually rejoice in the happiness of others. Really.

However, it is true that you could bring on a bad reaction by behaving as if you were a docent showing off a palace. The important thing is to treat your visitors as guests, not as tourists.

This means first inviting them to sit down and offering some refreshment. Your responses to their admiration of the house and neighborhood are fine, but you should not let this be the only topic of conversation. Tourists come specifically to see and learn about the attraction; guests should know that you also have an interest in them (although this is not the time to talk about their housing).

Eventually, they will ask to see the rest of the house, and you can oblige gracefully. It would be especially charming to ask their advice about any adjustments you contemplate making, which you are not obliged to follow.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend (we’re in our 60s) who lapses into baby talk. Mostly it is with her cat, and mine, but also in public, if we come across someone with an animal. It’s bad enough when she does it in private to our pets, but really annoying in public.

Do I just bite my tongue, or is there a little nudge that would bring this to her attention? I don’t think she realizes she is doing it.

GENTLE READER: Yeow.

Oops. That was not intended as kitty-cat talk, but only to indicate that Miss Manners shares your icky feeling about this. But your friend wasn’t talking to her -- or, for that matter, to you. You need only wait it out with a neutral, if not aloof, expression, as the cats are no doubt doing.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)