DEAR MISS MANNERS: As you know, there’s a new form of paid accommodations, a blur between staying with friends and staying in a commercial hotel. We had an experience with “home hospitality” that was worse than staying with a fussy old relative. There were so many rules given verbally, yet critical parts were left out!
We were shown which bathroom to use, but told that all the towels on the towel bars were for “show,” and that we could use a hook behind the door (which kept our towels damp). We were unsure about the matching “show” towel on the vanity counter -- use or not?
The dining table was clearly off-limits, but the kitchen breakfast bar was also elaborately set up, and we were pointed to a small stack of paper plates for self-serve coffee and muffins. Stand-up eating? The examples could go on.
When giving a review after the stay, I’m comfortable reporting an objective comment. But when it is a clash in personal hospitality styles, what’s the kind thing to do? Alert others, or “when in Rome ...”?
GENTLE READER: No one in Rome said that you had to stand to eat your breakfast.
And for whom are the towels showing off, if not the guests?
Miss Manners approves, and even encourages, leaving reviews that warn prospective customers against a poor business. You should understand that this is not a quasi social situation, which requires kindness and tolerance, but a business transaction. If the owners did not want frank feedback, they should not have solicited it by offering up their house.