DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I hand my phone to someone to show them a specific picture or message, I find it rude and inappropriate when they start scrolling through my phone to look at other items.

Am I off-base on this? How can I politely voice my objection, or otherwise nip this in the bud?

GENTLE READER: Assuming that you are not yourself being rude (by playing hilarious videos for fellow guests at someone else’s party), your options are limited.

You may suggest a second photo or message for viewing that requires you to repossess the telephone. But while this provides temporary relief, you may have to repeat it until your friend gives up in disgust.

You may laugh self-deprecatingly and say, “Oh, please don’t look at those, they’re so embarrassing.” This will definitely pique everyone’s interest, and it may or may not get your telephone back.

Or you may invent an emergency that requires your immediate attention in a different room: what Miss Manners calls the “I hear my mother calling” gambit.

The only sure solution is the obvious one: keeping the conversation to subjects that do not require visual supplements.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: The rules of plus-ones are so tricky that I need some outside help.

My boyfriend of a year and a half was invited to his best friend’s wedding. This is his childhood best friend, and while they’re still close, they live about an hour from each other and don’t see each other every day anymore. I’ve met this couple about three times, once right after we began dating.

The groom emailed my boyfriend to inform him that I would not be invited. Additionally, he did so a bit bluntly (“She is NOT invited to our wedding”), and I have mixed feelings. I understand that there are new rules with plus-ones, but I feel a bit weird since I have hung out with these people a few times. I’ve also felt like they go out of their way to avoid me, although I can’t say that for sure.

This wedding is a weeklong event, and guests are expected to pay their own way entirely.

Is it wrong of me to feel that it was a little rude that I wasn’t invited? Should my boyfriend still bring them an expensive gift? Should I be upset that he wants to go for the entire week instead of just for the wedding?

GENTLE READER: As you are still a girlfriend -- rather than a fiancee or wife -- there is no obligation on your boyfriend’s friends to include you in all invitations.

Which is not to say that no one slipped up. Not being invited is unlikely to leave you with warm feelings about the host -- something he might have taken into consideration. And even if you never learned of the email, he still ran the risk of your boyfriend being offended on your behalf.

As your status may not always be that of just the girlfriend, it is best not to dwell on the offense. The subtlety of choosing a cheaper gift is lost on Miss Manners, who values presents by the sentiment behind them, not the trade-in value.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Where, exactly, do you suggest one go to change a diaper on an airplane?

The aisle is pretty much the only place. There aren’t changing tables in the bathrooms -- there is barely room for one person, much less room to change a diaper.

Leaving a child in a wet diaper can lead to infections and skin problems. Leaving a child in a dirty diaper will surely extend the unpleasantness for everyone on the plane.

All passengers need to do their best to be polite. Anyone who wants peace and quiet should either fly in a private plane or get noise-canceling headphones.

GENTLE READER: We at least agree that everyone on a plane must endeavor to be polite.

Navies learned long ago that being in close quarters with the same people for extended periods of time required more, not less, etiquette to keep everyone from coming to blows. This was recognized before the invention of submarines or airplanes, when an occasional walk outside to clear one’s thoughts was still possible.

But you already knew that Miss Manners was unlikely to recommend changing one’s baby on the lap of the person next to you, no matter how convenient. Airplane bathrooms now do have fold-down tables for changing, which, like everything else in airplanes these days, is carefully measured to be challenging, but not impossible. We can agree that a tiny bit more space would result in a great deal less discomfort, but whether that happens or not, please still change the baby in the bathroom.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I have decided that it is in our best interests to totally abstain from drinking alcohol. As a result, we do not purchase alcohol to have in our home. We do not object, however, or find it uncomfortable, to have guests who wish to have a cocktail or wine with dinner.

Is it rude to ask people to bring their own bottle of wine or favorite alcoholic beverage when they come to our house for dinner? In some ways, it seems ungracious for us not to have such beverages on hand, but a lot of our guests are so used to having a dinner cocktail that I think their dining pleasure is greatly reduced when this is not available.

GENTLE READER: Etiquette often sets alcohol apart from other food and drink -- not just because of its side effects, but because of its significance in culture, history and religion.

But not always. You make clear that your objection to alcohol extends only to yourself and your husband; not only have you expressed no adverse opinion about others’ use of it, you are willing for them to imbibe it in your home.

For that reason, your question could instead be about broccoli -- in which case the answer would not have required Miss Manners’ intervention, so apparent would it be. As the host, you are free to set the menu, and you can include or exclude alcohol. But if you want it to be available to your guests, then it is up to you to procure it.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: An acquaintance (a man) asked me (a woman) how he could go about using a certain building to hold an event. When I was finished explaining it to him and it was time to go home, I said goodbye and walked towards the door.

When I was about 10 feet away, he called out my name. He said, I suppose as an explanation, “I’m a touchy-feely person,” and asked for a hug. I didn’t know what else to do, so I hugged him and left.

I have seen this man here and there at community events over the past few years, and have just recently been reminded of his name. The past three times he has run into me, he has asked me about my boyfriends (present and past) and very little else. (He is married and I have met his wife).

I find this vaguely disturbing, but on the other hand, he has not done anything that is obviously inappropriate. I don’t really feel like hugging him again, but it is likely that we will be running into each other more often in the future. How can I avoid hugging him again without starting a feud?

GENTLE READER: Never mind that vagueness: The reason that you are disturbed is that this behavior is disturbing. No one has any business hugging you without your permission, or inquiring about your personal life.

Miss Manners is alarmed that you feel that politeness requires you to put up with this through subtle evasiveness. It does not. The response to his declaration of being “a touchy-feely person” should be, “Well, I am not.” And to the questions, “That is my private life.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 36-year-old mother of four, and am prematurely graying. I choose not to dye my hair for my own personal Christian beliefs. I go to church with a few ladies who also believe that they shouldn’t dye their hair.

One of the ladies in the group is in her late 50s and completely gray herself, yet she loves to point out how much I’ve grayed over the past few years. When she does this, she’s quite loud, and it embarrasses me.

I know she doesn’t mean anything by it. She’s just blunt. But still, it hurts my feelings, and she embarrasses me in front of others by mentioning it.

She does it so often that I now avoid her. I feel like this is rude of her. How can I let her know what she’s doing without hurting her feelings or being rude myself?

GENTLE READER: People who repeat the same inane remarks should be given the same responses until they finally give up.

In this case, Miss Manners would suggest, “Well, as you have guessed, I keep hoping I’ll get to look like you” -- said loudly enough to get a laugh from the bystanders.

But Miss Manners has a question of her own: What is embarrassing about gray or graying hair?

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)