DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend of mine made some poor choices at work and was forced to resign from her company. I learned about this because it made national news.
I want my friend to know I still love her and am there to support her, but I don't know what to say. I have thought of writing her a letter of encouragement, but am at a loss for words. What do you say to someone you care about who has done something terrible?
GENTLE READER: Too many wives of power-abusing men are asking themselves this very question right now. The scope of the crime is paramount here -- and decisions about morality versus loyalty must be made.
There is, for example, a difference between a financial transgression and a human violation -- even if this distinction is only in the eyes of the friendship and not the law. "I was sorry to hear your news. I hope that you and your family are well" covers most categories. But Miss Manners suggests you resist adding, "Let us know if there is anything we can do" -- lest you find yourself suddenly subpoenaed.