DEAR MISS MANNERS: On a four-hour train trip, I showed my husband some silly birthday cards I had purchased for my close women friends. These cards featured oddly dressed people -- elderly women wearing an excess of makeup and jewelry, a group of women showing cleavage and toasting the recipient of the card with very large drinks -- no nudity, no violence, no simulated sexual acts, no epithets.

The messages were "Age is just a number," "Come celebrate with your girls," "Now we put our faces on with a spackle knife." We were looking at them and giggling, NOT loudly, and discussing which to send to whom.

An elderly woman who was seated behind us with a young man who looked to be in his late teens or early 20s said, in a VERY loud voice: "I just can't believe the sort of offensive greeting cards that are being sold nowadays! I can't even imagine what sort of tasteless person would actually send such things!"

We realized that the woman must have been peering between the very narrow space between the seats or over the very high tops of the seats and eavesdropping on us.

I put the cards back into the bag and we ended that discussion, but we remained uncomfortable throughout the rest of our journey, especially since the woman glared at us every time we got up to use the restroom. Should we have apologized? I felt her own behavior was, itself, quite rude.

GENTLE READER: For what, exactly, Miss Manners wonders, would you apologize?

The temptation must have been great to say audibly to your husband, "These are so much fun. Can you believe that some people have no sense of humor?" But you did right to ignore what was said by an eaves-and-eye-dropper in a way she hoped would shield her from consequences. Take comfort in the fact that by acting as if you had not heard, her rudeness likely brought her no pleasure.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I pulled into a parking spot in a beach parking lot where a family was loading up their truck and one of the doors near the spot was open. The man pushed their unoccupied baby stroller into the spot in an attempt to prevent me from parking there. He told me that I should have parked somewhere else, since the lot was fairly empty. I feel it would have been more polite for him to have closed the door to allow me to park. How should this have been handled?

GENTLE READER: Assuming there was much to be loaded into the truck (strollers, beach toys, towels, stray children) and that maneuvering room was needed in which to do it, the proper course would have been to explain the predicament and politely ask you to re-park.

Miss Manners acknowledges that this would be less efficient than ordering you off, but it is more polite. She trusts that you moved, anyway, as there is little to be gained in fighting with a frazzled father.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: At a restaurant, a waitress asked me three times if I wanted dessert. This is not the only time this has happened. One waitress asked me four times. I replied firmly but politely, "No, thank you," but I find myself sorely tempted to make a rude reply.

I know that they are trained to "up-sell" and, of course, the bigger the tab, the bigger the tip. Other than telling them off, or reporting to the manager, how does one get the point across that no means no?

GENTLE READER: When grocery store checkout clerks exhibit similar behavior, they presumably have no financial interest in your preferring paper over plastic.

Miss Manners suspects that these waitresses, having so often repeated that rote question to different patrons, may simply not have been listening. This does not excuse poor service, but it does lessen the severity of the infraction, negligence being more passive than coercing you to purchase something you do not want.

The correct response is, "No, thank you," "No, thank you," "No, thank you," and "Please give me the check."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our family has moved to a new area, and several kind acquaintances through church have gone out of their way to be friendly, inviting us to lunches, dinners and coffee dates.

I usually ask the inviting friends if we could meet at my house instead, because I have two young toddlers, and our house is baby-proofed with gates on stairs, latches on doors and cabinet locks; we have baby-appropriate furniture like cribs and high chairs, plus a ready supply of diapers, bottles, potties and changes of clothes. I don't mind preparing the food for the grown-up visit, and it's easier for me when the children are in a kid-safe environment.

Shall I offer a thank-you card and a reciprocal invitation, since the other friend initiated the visit to begin with? If the other friend offers another invitation, shall I accept and hope my kids don't break something valuable or dangerous? Should I just drop out of society until my kids are old enough to be gracious guests? My kids are not bad, but they are young, and accidents happen.

GENTLE READER: Thank-you notes and reciprocal invitations are for parties actually given, ignoring any prior arm wrestling that occurred over hosting duties. It is therefore up to your guests to thank you, and to reciprocate.

If they are amenable to your again co-opting the role of hostess, Miss Manners has no objection. But at some point you may wish to give your children the experience of learning how to behave as guests, if not only to give your dishwasher a rest.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the proper type of gift to buy for expecting parents? Something for the baby (i.e., crib, stroller, clothes, etc.) or something for the parents?

GENTLE READER: Either is acceptable, although the gift everyone would most enjoy -- namely, sleep -- is unfortunately not for sale.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am nearly 72 years old, and am finally engaged to be married, with a beautiful diamond ring. (I have had many relationships with men, but never one who gave me a ring and wanted marriage, as this man does.)

I have literally waited a lifetime for this, but I am not the type that wears much jewelry, and when I have ever worn rings in the past, I always wore them on my right hand. I know I am supposed to wear this one on my left hand, but I just can't get comfortable with it there. There is no logical reason for this (other than I like looking at it and I seem to see it more on the right hand), as the ring fits well on both fingers, but while I have tried wearing it on the left, I keep taking it off and putting it on my right hand.

And then I feel guilty about it, and put it back on the left. How important is it to wear your engagement ring (and eventually your wedding ring) on the left hand?

GENTLE READER: Important to whom? Miss Manners cannot imagine who would have a stake in this issue other than you and your fiance, and he less than you, because it is your hand.

Yet outsiders do seem to take an unwarranted interest in other people's marital rings. They have spread the notions that an engagement without a ring does not count, and that one without a large diamond hardly does. And that if rings are not worn on the left hand -- even though in other societies, the right hand is customary -- deception is intended.

Should any such person have the nerve to question you, you could simply say that it is your preference. Or you could ask if they suppose you are hoping to attract other suitors.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a crafty person. I like to sew my own clothes, make my own jewelry and create my own accessories. I am frequently complimented by people on my creations, and my usual response is to say "Thank you! I made it myself!" Is this fishing for compliments?

GENTLE READER: But you already caught that fish. Miss Manners assures you that your reaction only alerts complimenters that they have made a lucky strike.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I attended a Super Bowl party hosted by some friends. In addition to opening up their home, they did most of the cooking.

We took over several items and a cash contribution to help pay for the food costs. My wife was late to the event, and I took over all the food myself; this included two bottles of whipping cream.

Later I found out my wife had only intended that I take one bottle over. So, several days later, I informed my friend that we had only intended to take one bottle of cream and would it be OK to pick up the second bottle. My wife strongly disagreed with this. What do you think?

GENTLE READER: That you should have listened to your wife. It is not charming to inform a host that you grudge him a bottle of cream.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)