DEAR MISS MANNERS: When conversing with someone who is many time zones away, what is the proper greeting? For example, if it is my morning and their afternoon, should I say “good morning” or “good afternoon”?

The prevailing advice seems to be that you should just use “hello.” But if the other party greets you first with “good (time of day),” replying with “hello” seems inappropriate because it is not parallel to the greeting you received. A British colleague suggested “good day,” but that phrase is so uncommonly used in American English that it seems too stiff.

GENTLE READER: Although it is a formality, the literal meaning of the greeting is to wish someone good fortune for a specific period of time. Telling a British friend, over the phone, to have a good day is therefore unlikely to be effective, as his or her day is likely already coming to a close. “Good evening” would be more appropriate in that case.

Miss Manners notes that in addition to the logic in offering wishes for a good evening, it provides an opportunity for you to recognize that you are aware you have interrupted dinner -- something you would not have done if the subject of the call were not so urgent.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We are fortunate to have a close-knit group of about seven families ready to help each other in times of crisis. As is common in any such group, our family feels closer to some families than to others.

Family A, we are very close to. We feel comfortable sharing personal information and seeking advice from each other.

Family B, we are not as close to. Our relationship is cordial and formal, but can’t be described as deep.

Wife of Family A doesn’t like to discuss her health much. When she had surgery, only our group of seven families was told about it. Later, I came to know that Family B is discussing A’s health condition with others. When a family outside of our group called us about A’s health, we pretended ignorance and changed the topic.

Initially, we ignored this single instance of news-leak, but we have come to know that Family B is spreading the news to many others. We understand that their intentions are good, but they need to use a little more discretion.

Should we just ignore this, or should we take some action to prevent future leaks, thereby respecting Family A’s preference for privacy? For example, should we advise our close friends (Family A) to gently remind Family B not to not discuss A’s health with others? Or should we call Family B directly and advise them to use more discretion?

GENTLE READER: You are asking how to correct another person’s manners -- which would be impolite -- without being impolite. As your motivation is the laudable one of sparing Family A’s feelings, Miss Manners will assist you.

Say nothing to Family A. Doing so would be to gossip about -- and criticize -- the behavior of Family B, to hurt Family A (who were presumably unaware of what was occurring), and would not resolve the problem.

Strike up a conversation with Family B and weave in a story or two demonstrating Family A’s reticence to discuss health matters openly. This is known as dropping a hint.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I went to a bar with my husband to enjoy a cocktail and play some billiards. When we started to play pool, a toddler came over to our table and began playing with the cues, balls, quarters, etc.

We kept politely asking him to quit. After about 10 minutes of this, his father finally came over from across the bar, placed the toddler on a barstool and told him to stay there and watch us play pool.

The father went back to his table and sat down with his back to us. The child got off the barstool and began playing with things again at our table. I went over to the toddler’s father and mother and told them I was concerned for the child’s safety. However, by this point I was very upset and red-faced because I was so angry, and it came across as rude. The parents gave me a dirty look, took the child and didn’t say anything or bother to apologize.

I was astonished that parents would think it’s OK for a toddler to be in a bar, first of all, and second, to be unattended. Do you think I was rude to say something?

GENTLE READER: No, and citing safety is the right way to disguise your annoyance at the nuisance. But it must be said in a tone of concern, and you admit to doing it rudely.

Without commenting on a child’s presence in a bar, Miss Manners acknowledges that there are social settings in which a well-behaved child may have a degree of freedom to roam -- for example, an outdoor event where families are picnicking.

In such cases, it is the child’s responsibility not to torture the flora, the fauna or the other customers; it is the parents’ responsibility to ensure that the child lives up to these requirements. The latter requires constant line-of-sight contact, or very nearly so. In a less child-friendly setting -- the bar -- the acceptable distance from parental authority contracts, as does the range of acceptable child behavior.

People in your own position are free to return children who have clearly crossed these lines, if they can manage to do so without sounding like monsters who hate children.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My niece is getting married next week. Several of the people invited responded to her invitation with a guest: “Mrs. Blank and guest.”

The bride found out that some people were not bringing the guest they’d planned, so she deleted the guest and said “you can’t bring anyone.” The bride wants to dictate who people bring.

GENTLE READER: The struggle between inattentive hosts, inconsiderate guests and indescribable brides continues.

Miss Manners must disagree with your implication that only an unreasonable host would exercise any control over her guest list. But she agrees that there are limits. Invitations are properly issued to specific people: not to an unnamed date, houseguest or therapist. It is for this reason that Miss Manners so dislikes “plus one” invitations.

She cannot, however, assail the logic that once a hostess has posted such an invitation, she has ceded her authority to fill the seat. And there is no justification for the rudeness of rescinding an invitation once proffered.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our cardiology group practice is planning a holiday party for our employees. The proposal is to have a DJ and dance floor. However, the employees’ spouses are not invited.

It seems wrong to me to encourage dancing among co-workers without their spouses present. Am I just old-fashioned? Is this common? I have never been invited to a party with dancing without including spouses.

GENTLE READER: Old-fashioned? Or not paying attention to what is going on in the world right now?

At any time, it would be inhospitable to have an after-hours party -- Miss Manners assumes that you do not plan to dance in the emergency room during the lunch hour -- without inviting spouses and partners. In a period of super-awareness of sexual harassment in the workplace, it would be reckless and foolhardy.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been under the impression that it is considered in bad taste to bring one’s own infant along when attending a baby shower as a guest, as attention would be diverted from the guest of honor to the infant. I have no problem with that and, frankly, look forward to a little time with only adults.

But what about “gender reveal” parties? I’m not a fan of these parties as a whole, but my close friend is hosting one, so I will attend in support of her growing family. Should I bring my own baby along, or leave him with his grandparents for a few hours?

GENTLE READER: As the friends of expectant mothers may be likely to be young mothers themselves, there is no reason that Miss Manners can see for a general rule banning babies from either showers or gender reveal parties (and she agrees with you about the silliness of the latter). Surely the hostess and guest of honor should decide, keeping in mind whether the guests would be happier not having to find babysitters or getting away for an adult party.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mother-in-law lives alone. Each year since her first grandchild was born, she has sent out holiday cards with photos of the children. They go to her friends, colleagues and clients, most of whom we don’t know.

She did not consult me or my sister-in-law on this, and I found it odd to receive a card in the mail with a photo of my child on it. Shouldn’t holiday cards represent the people who live in your household?

I would note that I doubt I will take this up with her, as I don’t wish to make things unpleasant, but I would appreciate an etiquette ruling all the same.

GENTLE READER: Etiquette rules are based on moral considerations, one of which is kindness. Therefore, a rule forbidding a grandmother to send out cards picturing her grandchildren is inconceivable to Miss Manners.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When you receive an invitation to a birthday party and it states that dinner will be $25, are you obligated to buy a gift?

GENTLE READER: As a sponsor of this event, you are one of the hosts. If you want to give yourself a present, Miss Manners has no objection.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)