DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there a proper way to look up an ancient friend online without being noticed?
I want to maintain a sense of propriety on my part, and not be seen as overbearing or as attributing an unwarranted interest. I just want to find out: Is he or she married now? I don’t want to ask a mutual friend.
GENTLE READER: These days, there undoubtedly is a way to find out if your friend is married while preserving your anonymity, but Miss Manners’ expertise is in etiquette, not espionage. And that expertise tells her that even if you avoid being caught, there is no way to wonder about someone’s marital status while preserving both a lack of interest and a sense of propriety.