DEAR MISS MANNERS: Two and a half years ago, I married my boyfriend after four years together. We had a small, 70-person wedding -- an intimate black-tie affair in an old house, with fantastic drinks and food. He and I paid for the entire wedding on our own.

My favorite aunt never got us a gift (and neither did several other family members and friends, actually). They all attended the wedding and rehearsal dinner. My aunt’s political views do lean to conservative, and a few ignorant comments she’s made have been repeated to me by other family members; however, they have never been about me. She attended our wedding and was very sweet and positive. My aunt is also very wealthy, so money is not an issue.

Do I need a gift from her? No, of course not. Does it make me feel less than loved because she skipped me and not my siblings? I can’t help it. It does. And now every time I see any of them, this thought slowly creeps its way into my head: Did they not give me a gift because I’m gay and they did not consider our wedding a real wedding?

Now my aunt’s son is engaged, and he and his fiancee are preparing what we refer to as the Gigantic Texas Wedding. Pre-party, showers, dinners -- all “gifted” affairs. I hate that the idea of not getting him a gift has crossed my mind. I know she’d figure it out then. I will, of course, do what is appropriate in that regard and get a gift. My mother taught me long ago that even if you don’t attend, it’s still nice to send something small.

It still nags at me that there were so many people who came to our wedding and did not give us any gifts. Some were family members, and some were even our gay male friends. It was all people who are close to my husband and me -- not distant relatives.

Even today, I can’t figure it out. Would it seem that we’re mean people, or that they dislike us? But they came to the wedding, and it was a fantastic time. I DO try to focus on that, I promise.

Most of the others I’ve forgotten about, but I see my aunt often. We get along so well. I still think about it -- not about the gift itself, but more about the “why” she did not give one. Does she really dislike us, and fakes it when she’s around us?

Ha. Reading this over, I think maybe it’s one for my therapist!

GENTLE READER: Right-o. Miss Manners is glad to have been of help in clarifying that.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the proper way to eat dumplings in a soup?

GENTLE READER: Very, very slowly. And if the dumpling does not give when you carefully sink the side of your spoon into it, Miss Manners advises giving up. The idea is to avoid the beach-ball-in-the-pool effect of merry splashing.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We attended a doggie birthday pool party with our dog, and we’d like to reciprocate. However, the hosts’ 150-pound male Newfoundland dog relentlessly tried mounting our 130-pound female, and they did nothing to intervene.

After an hour of this harassment, we decided to leave the party early, rather than risk a hip problem or other injury to our dog.

There were several other giant dogs at the party who were well mannered, and we’d like to get together with them again. The previous hosts are sure to find out if we exclude them from our gathering to protect our dog. Is there any polite way to request that the previous hosts keep their dog under control?

GENTLE READER: “We would love to include Chimera at our get-together, but I am afraid that Pixie is a bit afraid of him. I wonder if there is any way to keep them apart so that she is free to attend to her other guests.” And then Miss Manners recommends that you keep them all out of the birthday cake.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is one to do about friends and relatives who are “bad leavers”?

My husband and I have three kids. We often socialize with friends and family, who also have kids, at our house, which we have set up with lots of fun, kid-friendly spaces. My issue is that it sometimes takes these parents what seems like hours to get their kids out the door when it is time to go home. So we all have to watch while the parents ask the kids to stop doing the activity, like jumping on the trampoline, multiple times, ask their kids to find their shoes multiple times, etc.

When my brother and his family spent the weekend, I asked him several times on Saturday when they planned to leave on Sunday. He said they were definitely leaving by noon because they had to be somewhere else. But they didn’t get out the door till 3:30 p.m.

It is agonizing to watch their slow process and poorly behaved kids, but it seems to be rude to yell at their kids or get out the vacuum. It is getting to the point where we want to say “yes, you can come, but only if you leave on time.” What to do?

GENTLE READER: The problem you describe is not unique to children. And there is, unfortunately, a limit to what can be accomplished by end times printed on invitations, surreptitious glances at your watch, or clearing the dishes from the dishwasher.

After the above have failed, more serious measures may be necessary. These do include vacuuming, as well as thanking your guests for coming, putting all the toys away, and pleading an outside appointment or an early flight.

They do not include turning out the lights or going to bed. If your brother is the perpetrator, a private conversation should be possible. But the only sure solution for non-relatives is one that Miss Manners laments can merely prevent future problems, not solve the current one: When they finally do leave, do not invite them back.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: About once every two or three years since I turned 18, my parents decide to give me money for my birthday. While this was OK in college, it quickly became annoying.

I’ve always told them I don’t need money from them; I make sure to say this (nicely) several times, every time they send one of these gifts, but they blatantly refuse to take me seriously: “Oh, don’t be silly, one ALWAYS needs money!”

I’m now in my 30s, and I have a well-paying, stable job and a lot of my own money in my savings account. Frankly, at this point, their money “gifts” feel outright insulting. Not to mention that the money is sent via mailed checks, which then become a huge contention point. Every time, they spend weeks afterwards doing nothing but nagging me in increasingly annoying terms -- via phone, email and now text, too -- to deposit the check.

Frankly, a gift that I really never wanted is just not going to be at the top of my priority list out of all the other things I have to do daily.

My parents do not actually care about the huge headache these unwanted gifts bring me, and end up on occasion getting nasty and confrontational, claiming that not depositing the checks promptly causes THEM great inconvenience, and openly berating me over my own birthday gift.

Their behavior causes me a lot of stress every time this happens, exacerbating my lifelong anxiety condition. What should I do about this issue without getting outright rude and severely damaging my relationship with my parents?

Shouldn’t accepting gifts and what to do with them be up to the recipient? Especially clearly unasked-for and unwanted gifts? Shouldn’t they have gotten the message by now, after all the many times this situation has repeated itself, and finally quit mailing me checks?

GENTLE READER: Forgive Miss Manners, but after decades of letters from Gentle Readers asking for her permission to extort money openly, she is somewhat shaken by someone’s asking her how to get rid of it as an insulting nuisance. She needs a moment to collect herself.

That said, the annoyance that you feel seems out of proportion to the alleged crime. As it is unlikely that your parents will change, and as your admonishments --presuming that you are able to contain your anger and indignation and state them politely -- are to no avail, why not donate that money to a cause in which you believe? Doing so may make the tiresome act of depositing checks more palatable -- and if not, modern technology has made it easier to do it from home.

Or, pick a recipient that your parents might find disagreeable: “I do wish that you would realize that your generous monetary gifts are unnecessary. But if you insist, I have decided to donate them to Cousin Irksome’s inventions fund. I hear his latest undertaking is squirrel-cloning.”

You may find the problem quickly solved.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)