DEAR MISS MANNERS: Does the general opprobrium against women wearing white to someone else’s wedding also apply if it is a wedding between two men?

I have a white cocktail dress with a significant amount of black detailing along its sides. It would never be confused for a wedding dress, but I have refrained from wearing it to weddings and rehearsal dinners to avoid any risk of offense. As a result, it doesn’t leave my closet very often.

I am attending a wedding between two men. I am absolutely certain neither will be in a dress. May I wear mine?

GENTLE READER: Might there be an additional reason that you should not wear this dress to that wedding? Is it possible that the attending staff, and perhaps even uninformed guests, might mistake you for the bride?

Miss Manners supposes not. But if the bridal couple favors the tradition that deems both white and black unsuitable in a guest’s dress, that would be a good reason. She will refrain from asking why you bought a dress that you have no occasion to wear.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was at a public dance event. My friend had mentioned that a particular dancer was very good, and that she, like me, was widowed. I later saw an opportunity to ask said dancer to dance, and she politely declined.

Afterward, my friend’s boyfriend chastised me for asking the widow to dance because “her husband died only three months ago.”

Is it inappropriate, at a public dance, to ask someone to dance who is known to be widowed?

GENTLE READER: Why does that unauthorized etiquetteer think that it is up to you, and not to the widow herself, to set the terms of her mourning?

It would be indelicate to invite a newly bereaved lady to attend a dance. But Miss Manners notes that this lady has already decided to go, and to dance. Therefore, that is not an issue. She is free to decline your request, as she did, but not to take it as an etiquette violation.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son works at the local ice cream shop. When I dropped him off recently, I asked him to bring me something home. When he got home, he had ice cream with him but didn’t have any for me. He proceeded to sit down and eat it in front of me.

When I asked him the next day why he didn’t offer to share, he said it was because he knew I was on a diet. My daughter then proceeded to tell me it’s OK to eat in front of others without offering to share, to get something else or to just plain wait.

Am I not right? Should people be allowed to eat in front of others?

GENTLE READER: It would appear that you have two children who are innocent of manners. Miss Manners will not inquire why this is the case. But at least let her relieve you of your apparent doubt about whether you should accept etiquette advice from them.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it appropriate to say ”Nice to meet you” when you meet somebody for the first time?

I am French, and in France, a lot of people say “enchante,” but it is not polite. And most of all, a woman cannot be “enchantee” to meet a man, because in the “enchante” term, there is an inside meaning of, ”I feel some pleasure to meet you” -- which is not appropriate. We have to say, “bonjour, monsieur; bonjour, madame” and that’s all. The Brits say, ”How do you do?”

What is the best way to salute somebody in the USA?

GENTLE READER: “How do you do?”

But like your enchanted countrymen, most Americans believe that “Nice to meet you” is a polite thing to say upon meeting someone for the first time. Traditionalists sniff that one has no way of knowing at first sight whether it will turn out to be pleasurable to meet a particular stranger. Miss Manners agrees, although she does not sniff at good intentions -- and could point out that “How do you do?” (not being a real question) could also be attacked as illogical.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my sister died unexpectedly, my husband’s workplace sent a beautiful plant with condolences to our home. Then my mom passed away three weeks after my sister. Image my (unhappy) surprise when I opened my door to find the florist delivery person with a bunch of Mylar balloons and streamers!

I asked who they were for, and from whom, and was told they were for me, from my husband’s work. Needless to say, I refused them.

I told my husband that I think he should say something to the big boss about how inappropriate it was to send balloons. Everybody chips in for these occasions, and the same person is in charge of ordering flowers/plants.

He refuses to say anything because he doesn’t want to “upset” her. This is really tearing us apart. I want to save anyone else from the indignity of receiving Mylar balloons when their mom dies.

GENTLE READER: Although Miss Manners sympathizes with your dismay, she is aware that the infantilization of society has made it commonplace to mark the tragedy of death with childish things, even when the death was not a child’s. They might even have sent you a teddy bear.

In refusing the delivery, you have already made a harsh statement that may cause your husband’s boss and colleagues to question their well-meant, but thoughtless, gesture. Anything more at this time would be churlish.

However, should there be another bereavement at this workplace, your husband could say that flowers are more comforting than balloons.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If you extend an invitation to a couple and they decline, are they obligated to send a gift or acknowledge your invitation?

GENTLE READER: An invitation is neither a subpoena nor a bill. So no, this couple does not have to send a present. A reply is, however, obligatory. Miss Manners notes that they did give one, as they have declined.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was riding a crowded metro train at rush hour, people tightly packed together, with no chance to move away from a group of eight people who were loudly mocking, berating and laughing at me and other passengers. It became obvious fairly quickly about whom they were speaking, and equally obvious that they were intending us all to hear.

Except to endure the embarrassment as it continued unabated, was there any recourse at all?

GENTLE READER: You might say, to the other innocent victims in an equally loud voice, “I do so love street theater, don’t you?”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: For various reasons, I’m estranged from my parents and, by extension, so are my husband and children. While the estrangement is irrelevant to my father, it bothers my mother, but not enough for her to make proper amends.

Although she has access to her other grandchildren, I think the threat of embarrassment and shame looms, as she’s the only person in her family and social circle to be denied access to relatives. So far, she has been able to conceal this fact, and I have not said anything -- and will not. (My children see my in-laws frequently, so they’re not missing out on grandparents.)

As a way to get back into my good graces and gain access to my children, my mother continues to send gifts for all holidays, special occasions, and for no reason. These gifts come in the mail, directly addressed to them.

Rather than explain to them why they get presents from a grandparent they’ve never met and probably never will, I’ve been telling my kids the gifts are from me. My husband is none the wiser, and I do not think he cares, as he has always been indifferent and uninterested in the estrangement. My children have also never inquired about my side of the family, but when they do, I have an age-appropriate explanation ready.

I confided this information to a close friend, and she was shocked. She said I should either give the gifts away or send them back, but I shouldn’t be telling my kids they’re from me as this is quite rude and an etiquette violation.

What is the etiquette for receiving gifts from estranged individuals? I intentionally do not write thank-you notes, although I would otherwise, as I’ve made it clear I do not wish to engage. What should I do?

GENTLE READER: This practice is not so much rude as it is fraudulent. Miss Manners is also forced to wonder what creative reason you have given your children for why you’ve sent them some presents and given others in person?

If you are not going to acknowledge the presents, the only honorable thing would be to return them. Or to send a letter saying that you do not wish to receive any more.

However, if you insist on keeping them, Miss Manners warns you that you may be setting a dangerous precedent for year-round Santa operation -- a practice you might find difficult to maintain, and harder from which to come clean.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)