DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 38-year-old woman, never married. Since my mother’s passing a few years ago, my perspective has changed. Specifically, I prefer to focus more on my relationships and less on my career. I would like, more than anything, to have a family of my own.

I have been dating a younger man (seven years younger) for a year. Luke and his family are native to our city, while I am not. He eats dinner with his parents -- at their invitation and expense -- most Fridays and every Sunday. Except for a handful of occasions such as my boyfriend’s birthday and New Year’s Day, I am not invited.

Because my time in this town has been largely as a nontraditional law student and then as a woman with limited means seeking gainful employment, I haven’t made many friends. As a result of this, and my boyfriend’s dinners with his parents, I often spend both Friday and Sunday nights alone, which makes me incredibly sad.

I have mentioned this to my boyfriend, and his response is that “there is sort of an open invitation,” but when the end of the week rolls around, he never offers a dinner with his parents as an option. We have had several arguments about this.

Although I was employed at the same law office as his father for a year and we (in theory) have shared interests, his parents have never reached out to me personally to extend an invite. This Christmas, my younger brother drove up from another state to spend Christmas with me. We spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day alone while Luke celebrated with his parents, at their home, on both days ... and they live just 10 minutes away. I thought this was particularly cruel.

I have struggled with feelings of being “orphaned,” because without my mother, I feel essentially alone (my father is destructive and not really in the picture). I had been so optimistic upon beginning my relationship with Luke that I would be warmly received by his family, but it has been quite the opposite. I am a good person, and I can’t understand this.

Which party, if any, is at fault here? Is there anything I can do to be included in these weekly outings? I have developed serious resentment towards both Luke and his parents.

GENTLE READER: It seems to Miss Manners that your wish to start a family is not aligned with your gentleman friend’s desire to make you part of his. Sadly, this does not bode well for the longevity of the relationship.

From a manners perspective, an open invitation is a tricky concept. But if you would like to challenge it, you could ask directly about a specific night. You could also invite the family to your house for a meal. Unfortunately, however, if the answer to either of these options is anything less than a firm plan, it might be time to move on -- and make new friends in this city.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 13-year-old boy, and I’m bisexual. I don’t know how to tell my parents, although I think they might think that I’m gay (because of how I act and my obsession with nail polish). But I’m still very nervous to tell them.

I feel like if I do come out, they would accept it, but the topic is very awkward when I’m talking about it with my siblings. I already told my friends, but how should I tell my parents, family members and my parents’ friends?

GENTLE READER: Many a child has learned the effectiveness of scaring parents into thinking their impending news is going to be much more drastic than it is: “I’m pregnant! Just kidding, I failed biology.”

While there might be a temptation to oversell in the name of lessening the impact, Miss Manners cautions you against such theatrics. Tell your family members privately and simply, without apology or forecasting a negative response. Politely and patiently answer their questions and correct misconceptions, doing your best not to betray any annoyance.

And if all else fails? Skywriting.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work as a property manager and I speak on the phone with dozens of people every day: tenants, prospective tenants, vendors and other employees of the company I work for.

It has been bothering me lately when people I am on the phone with will not hang up without a proper valediction. Before hanging up, some will just say “OK” or “thanks.”

Our regional accountant does that to me, and I feel it is rude. Sometimes prospects who called to ask questions about the property will just hang up when I am in the middle of talking.

The last time this happened, someone asked me how much the apartment rates were. I assume they hung up because the rates was too pricey for them, but I would have thought the polite way to respond would have been “Oh, that’s over my budget, but thank you for the information” followed by a “goodbye.”

I’ve been getting so fed up with this behavior from multiple people lately that I’ve considered calling back the people who hang up on me to say something along the lines of, “I’m so sorry, I think something happened to the phones, as I was talking and suddenly the phone line cut off.”

Is this just the new norm to end phone conversations, and I’m just being petty? Or do I have a real reason to be miffed?

GENTLE READER: You are justified in your miff-dom, and Miss Manners finds your proposed solution to be a polite and likely effective one. But it is also within the parameters of your job to talk to co-workers directly about their rudeness, particularly if they represent the company. “Isn’t it awful how customers just abruptly hang up on us? We should lead by example on this, and not do the same” would give them the benefit of the doubt, without placing any direct blame.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Unexpectedly, in a rushed public place, I met my son’s girlfriend’s mother for the first time. During the introductions and short conversation, the mother complimented our son, saying she liked him very much and thought he was a nice boy.

When I did not reply with a compliment about her daughter, the woman said, “At this point, you should say something nice about my daughter.”

I indicated that I thought her daughter was very nice and we thought a lot of her. I then made my way out of the conversation, because we were in a bit of a rush and I was a bit put off.

My son came to our house and perpetuated the situation, telling me they thought I was rude not to have immediately reciprocated but had to be asked to do so. Should I apologize to his girlfriend, whom we really do like, or leave it alone? I don’t want to cause any hurt feelings.

GENTLE READER: Like dirty dishes, etiquette infractions become less appealing, and more work to clean up, as time goes by.

Miss Manners understands from your description that your failure to reciprocate was not a lack of goodwill toward the daughter -- or even a disagreement that returning the compliment was the right thing to do -- but rather a side effect of your being surprised by the meeting and distracted by the time.

Irrespective of whether the mother’s comment was meant to be humorous or rude, it provided you with an easy way to repair the damage: Compliment her daughter emphatically -- so emphatically that no one could miss your surprise at the merest suggestion that you are not enamored of her.

This is a good reflex to develop, particularly for people who find they do not always say the right thing instinctively. Not having done that, a bit more soap will be required. Explain to the girlfriend what happened, apologize profusely, and tell her how much you like her. She will report this back to her mother, and since it was the daughter who, in theory, was insulted, the mother will have no further justification for being upset. And if the mother does a hold a grudge, at least you will have the daughter on your side.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A neighbor who is a dear, helpful man helps cut down trees and even occasionally cuts the lawn, but ... he has the habit of coming over during dinner. We offer him food, but he does not want to eat with us.

Is it rude to continue eating in front of him, or do we let the food get cold and reheat it after he has left? He just comes to chat, but at an inconvenient time.

GENTLE READER: Explain that you were just eating dinner, invite him in, and ask him to sit down with you at an empty place at the table.

Miss Manners is not suggesting force-feeding your inconvenient guest, only maneuvering him into a position in which you and your family will be free to continue eating while the food is hot. If he refuses to sit down, say how sorry you are that he is unable to stay and how much you look forward to seeing him again.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)