DEAR MISS MANNERS: I don’t understand people who feel the need to point out obvious things. My husband and I were walking through a park one day, and he dropped his sunglasses. When he was already kneeling down to pick them up, a woman walked past us and told him, “You dropped your glasses.”

Of course he had realized this.

Another example was when I entered a store after rain had suddenly started. Someone informed me, “You got caught in the rain.” I was aware of this.

How should one respond when a person makes such a useless statement?

GENTLE READER: “Yes, I did (drop my glasses/get caught in the rain)!” -- as if they were bright children who had guessed right.

Just as silly, but even more annoying, are those who feel obliged to point out to you that you are tall or short or red-haired or blond. For them, Miss Manners suggests a wide-eyed “REALLY?”

Upping the unpleasantness even more are the people who inform you that you are too fat or too thin. The response to that should be, “How kind of you to say so.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our daughter is getting married next June. She and her fiance are already living together. We plan to purchase a post-ceremony wedding announcement in the newspaper.

While reading current announcements for ideas, we’ve noticed a variation on the “After a wedding trip to Bora Bora, the couple will reside in Podunk” phrasing. Apparently, couples who already share a home are using: “After a wedding trip to Bora Bora, the couple reside in Podunk.” Aside from the grammar issue, is this language appropriate?

GENTLE READER: “Aside from the grammar issue”? What could be more important?

Anyway, the traditional wording is that a bridal couple “will be at home” in Podunk after the wedding trip. Miss Manners notices that this does not specify whether they were “at home” there before the wedding, as well.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am the paternal grandmother, and I hosted a meet-and-greet for our grandson. I hired a photographer and planned a day of making memories, mostly for the paternal great-grandparents.

Maternal grandparents want pictures. I say no. Our grandson lives three hours away, and we see him maybe once a month. They see him via FaceTime every day, every weekend, and never share with us. Am I wrong?

GENTLE READER: Is this a competition to see which grandparents are the least agreeable? If you want to win that, Miss Manners hopes you will at least provide the other grandparents with the name of the photographer so they can order the pictures.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a professional 50-year-old woman who works in a veterinary medical office. Another professional gentleman around the same age, who does some work in our office, has started to occasionally call me “hon“ and “honey.”

I find this very offensive, but am unsure how to gracefully let him know my feelings. I have to work with this person and do not want to make our relationship awkward in the future, as I do not think he’s doing it to purposely demean me.

GENTLE READER: You can say kindly, “I’m guessing you’re having trouble remembering my name.” Miss Manners assures you that being thought forgetful will make more of an impression on the gentleman than being thought forward.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m a single professional woman in my early 30s, in an industry where networks and relationships are extremely important. How should I respond when male professional contacts express an interest in meeting up, and I can’t tell if they mean professionally or as a date?

Although sometimes it’s clear (drinks after work, on the weekend, etc.), sometimes it’s for coffee or breakfast during the week, which could be either.

I have no problem firmly and clearly turning men down if they are aggressive or inappropriate, but sometimes they are nice people I respect, and would like to continue being friendly with -- but not more than that.

How can I ascertain what their intentions are? And what is a kind and polite way to turn somebody down if I suspect that they are interested in a date? Usually it’s a general invitation for coffee, and they ask me when is convenient for my schedule, not a specific date that I can be unavailable for. I don’t want to risk saying I’m not interested in dating, when they could mean just a meeting!

GENTLE READER: There is so much pseudo-socializing in the workplace that Miss Manners worries that people don’t seem to know how to be pleasant in a businesslike way.

A polite response, when a colleague suggests meeting, is, “What would you like to discuss?” And if the gentleman looks blank, you can add, “I like to be prepared.”

But if he says, “I’d just like to get to know you better,” you know it is not really about business. And you can say cheerfully, “I don’t really stay around here socializing, but you can always stop by my desk.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I will be my best friend’s maid of honor. She and her fiance are in their early 30s. This will be his third marriage, and he also has four kids from the two previous wives.

They have both served in the Marines, but neither fulfilled their terms and they were discharged for various reasons. Now, they do not work and are currently living with her parents.

My friend is now pregnant (her first) and has asked me to throw both her baby and bridal showers. All of her other friends have told her no. I love her dearly.

I am a mother, a wife, an entrepreneur and the CEO of my husband’s business. I am very busy. I am perplexed on how to go about these showers, since I don’t believe in showers for the third marriage and fifth child.

GENTLE READER: Then why are you hesitating? Nobody else did. And considering that she had to ask for such events, which are normally initiated by friends, you might have trouble scaring up guests.

Miss Manners will take your word for it that you love this person dearly, despite your dismal report about her life. But that does not require you to undertake festivities for which you are too busy and of which you disapprove. Being busy is the only explanation you need mention.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What do you recommend to start emails for business, and for personal messages? And how to sign off?

I often see “Hi” as the start and “Thank you” as the ending, and sometimes that just doesn’t feel right.

GENTLE READER: Emails cover a wide range of formality. Therefore the recipients and subject matter must always be considered when using salutations -- and they may even be excluded altogether, once you are deep into the exchange.

“Hi,” although becoming commonplace, still strikes Miss Manners as being cheeky, or at least too breezy for business correspondence. And “thank you” is premature when accompanying a request.

Treat formal emails as you would letters -- using “Dear” and “Yours truly” for business, and more affectionate terms for your personal affairs. Miss Manners will leave those to your own discretion, depending on the degree of intimacy -- and the relative privacy of your internet connection.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When eating a pastry (doughnut, muffin, cupcake) in public, should you eat it with a knife and fork?

GENTLE READER: These are classified as finger food, so you will be considered amusing to do so. However, Miss Manners notes that you will also avoid getting cream on your nose.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Two of my former next-door neighbors (elderly father and 50-something daughter) have passed away. It was very tragic, and I expressed my condolences online soon after I heard the news. But I also wanted to send a card, and now it’s been a couple of months.

I am visiting in their family’s town, right next door to them. Would it be inappropriate to send the card at this time? I really regret not having sent it sooner, and I really would like to express how I feel. I think it may also be an opportunity to pay a welcome visit.

GENTLE READER: It is never too late to express sympathy for a death. Its subject is unfortunately not going anywhere.

However, since some time has now passed, a full letter, something more substantial than just a card, would be kind. Especially if your intention is also to visit the mourners past the reasonable time for a condolence call.

Do so, saying that you would like to pay a call on them when it is convenient. Miss Manners cautions you, however, against using the letter as an announcement that that visit is a foregone conclusion.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I dine out often, and never cease to be amazed when restaurant servers feel compelled to comment on how much of our meal we’ve eaten.

We’ve heard comments like “You really killed that,” “You must have hated that,” and “Wow, you must have really been hungry.”

These type of comments have ruined more than a few otherwise pleasant meals. I would think that restaurant management would stress the need for appropriate communications with customers. What is the proper response to such boorish and unprofessional comments?

GENTLE READER: “How kind of you, with the work you have to do, to take the time to watch how I eat.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)