DEAR MISS MANNERS: I believe that when one is hosting a large party, it is his or her responsibility to greet each guest. Does the guest also have a responsibility to say goodbye when leaving?

Over the years, I’ve attended many weddings, showers and graduation parties, and after I’ve had my share of polite mingling with both the host and other guests, I usually slide out inconspicuously.

However, recently I was on the flip side of this scenario, and am now questioning my etiquette. I recently hosted an open house for my daughter to celebrate her graduation. Both my daughter and I made sure to greet each guest, but a few left without saying goodbye.

I was a little sad that I didn’t have the opportunity to thank them again for coming. This left me wondering if I’ve been rude all these years by sneaking out of social events. What is the guest’s responsibility?

GENTLE READER: Funny how it requires experiencing what you call the “flip side” to make you realize how flippantly rude you have been all these years. Had you no previous empathy for those who were kind enough to entertain you?

You say that you only want the opportunity to thank your guests for attending. What about the more crucial courtesy of guests thanking the hosts?

Miss Manners hopes that as you have discovered how unpleasant it is to have one’s guests wander in and out as if in a public facility, you will now broadly apply the test of “How would I feel if ...”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the correct response when someone answers your invitation with “We prefer to be alone that evening”?

GENTLE READER: “Actually, that does sound like a better idea.” (And Miss Manners has toned that down from “Actually, that does sound like more fun for us all.”)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the best way to express to a host known for good cooking, or to a restaurant owner, that the food is delicious?

I find that if I say, “Your food is delicious,” I may be implying that I have the right to judge, which I don’t. I tend to say “I really liked your food” or “I really enjoyed your food,” but that seems to be less of a compliment.

What can I say to convey that I thought the food to be delicious, while letting the host know that I am not in a position to judge, and can only judge with my own palate and tastes?

GENTLE READER: That many people seem to think that using their judgment is rude has always puzzled Miss Manners.

It is rude to offer others your insulting opinions of them. It is rude to offer even flattering opinions if it is not your business to size them up -- personal compliments in a workplace, for example.

But how you can construe it to be presumptuous to voice appreciation of a friend’s hospitality, Miss Manners cannot imagine.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it proper for a man to shake a female’s hand firmly?

GENTLE READER: Define “firm.” It should not crack the stone in her ring.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m 62 and have been divorced for 26 years. I’ve been dating the love of my life for 15 years -- obviously not in a hurry to tie the knot, though I gave her a beautiful engagement ring over the summer.

A couple of times in conversations with other people while my fiancee is present, I have told an amusing story (different each time) that involved my ex-wife or a past girlfriend. My fiancee later tells me that that was rude and it offended her.

I have since been quite careful never to go there. Until yesterday.

While we were eating at the bar of a casual restaurant, I struck up a conversation with the couple next to me. The gentleman stated he was from a neighborhood I was familiar with. I then proceeded to tell him that 22 years ago, I played a humorous prank on my child on the way over to my then-girlfriend’s house in that same neighborhood (it involved the geography of that neighborhood). I’m a social drinker and was having fun making the couple laugh.

Needless to say, I caught heck on the drive home for mentioning an ex-girlfriend. I told her she was being childish and that it’s history -- adding, however, that because it offends her, it’ll never happen again. In my head, I’ll just have to think really hard and use generic terms like “friend.” I’ve just never had to analyze anything before I say it. I’m not purposely being rude.

Is she oversensitive? I told her even if, in your opinion, she’s wrong, I will still never go there.

GENTLE READER: The only relevant rule here is: Don’t annoy your fiancee. Not that Miss Manners fails to understand what a pleasure it would be to tell the lady that she is wrong, but that you are humoring her anyway.

Can you imagine how complicated it would be to have a rule about whom one can and cannot mention from one’s past? (Still, and between us, Miss Manners does think it odd for people in midlife to pretend they had no pasts, even benign ones.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was enjoying a bowl of soup at home recently, and I remembered what I believe to be your advice about using the side of the spoon. However, this particular soup contained rice and small meatballs. In delivering the meatball to my mouth using the side of the spoon, I slurped the liquid.

As my primary goals were to deliver the soup without spilling or slurping, I delivered the next meatball by itself with no liquid using the tip of my oval spoon. Is this the correct method when a soup contains morsels of solid food?

GENTLE READER: Why does Miss Manners have the feeling that she is being blackmailed? That you are suggesting that if she doesn’t lift the rule, there will be soup all over the tablecloth?

Neatness first, if she must choose. But you really ought to ask the cook to make smaller meatballs.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: An annoyance that I have run into consistently since I was in high school is how to respond to comments made about my body and face. (I am fluent in sarcasm, but attempt to keep those comments to myself.)

These comments are insufferable. “Skinny-shaming” is just as prevalent as fat-shaming, and while I lead a healthy lifestyle and have no body image issues whatsoever, I am tired of hearing that I am the “skinny one” or that I need to “eat a cheeseburger.”

I eat many cheeseburgers, thank you very much, and to have the hard work I put in to keep myself fit denigrated is extremely annoying. My body mass is nobody’s business but my own, but I am constantly subjected to other opinions anyway.

GENTLE READER: Youth and slimness are unduly valued in Western society, and annoying as they may be, comments to that effect are meant as high praise.

Take them for how they are kindly, if awkwardly, intended. A curt, weak, tight-lipped smile is all that is needed in response.

Miss Manners has decreed over and over again that one must refrain from commenting on others’ personal appearance, especially the relative size of the human form, but to little avail. She will continue the fight, if you will promise not to fuel the battle.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am the only person in my family to move out of state, having moved across the country to find work. Everyone in my family feels that it is my obligation to make a yearly trip home to visit.

These trips are financially taxing, but I have made them regardless. The last visit, most of my family did not take time off of their work or extra-curricula to spend time with me. In fact, not a single member of my family went out of their way to spend time with me.

The last day of my visit, no one was available, so I decided to leave a day early. This caused an uproar with my family, who felt I was being selfish and immature.

I had several cousins message me with woeful, “Why didn’t you come see me while you were here?” messages. Miss Manners, I drove 1,500 miles. I feel that they could have managed 15!

I am fed up with their feeling entitled to my presence and treating my moving away as some horrible crime against the family that I must rectify with yearly trips. I told my family that I would host anyone who wished to see me in my home state, but I will not be traveling home next year. They think I’m being unfair.

GENTLE READER: Is it possible that while your family may well want to see you, it just might be difficult for them -- as it would be for you -- to drop everything when you are there? Miss Manners fears that your anger and perception of their resentment is coloring your more reasonable judgment here. Before your next trip, try to make concrete plans with any interested members -- and do your best to rid yourself of the angry subtext that is making it more strained for all.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)