DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I was evacuated from my home due to the wildfires in California, a friend of mine opened up his home to me. I got deathly ill and ruined the sheets I was sleeping in.
I’m still recovering from my illness, and haven’t had a chance to go to the department store to replace the sheets. Today I received an itemized list of all the items that need to be replaced and how much I should spend to replace the sheets and other items. I’m totally insulted by his behavior. How do I proceed from here without having any ill will?
GENTLE READER: Suppressing a feeling of ill will, toward someone who sends you a bill when you are homeless and ill, will not be easy. Yet Miss Manners urges you to try.
This was someone who was generous enough to take you into his home. Have you no clue as to what made him change?
In any case, you still owe gratitude for the hospitality he did show, as well as an apology and restitution for the damage. A stiff note and a check will do it, but Miss Manners hopes you can bring yourself to be gracious, to encourage the good side of your erstwhile friend’s split nature.