DEAR MISS MANNERS: Upon returning home from a 20,000-mile business trip, I immediately lifted my yearling son and began enjoying the moment with him. My wife, who was on a video conference with her parents, interrupted to insist that I was being “extremely rude” not to greet her and them first.

Aside from Miss Manners’ insistence that it’s rude to point out others’ rudeness, would she grant a bit of indulgence for excited young children and fathers?

GENTLE READER: Human interaction takes precedence over electronic (although the retail and business world would have you think otherwise), so it was actually your wife’s second transgression not to have excused herself for a moment to greet you. How polite of you not to have pointed that out.

In the future, however, to make all parties happy, Miss Manners recommends that you say a quick hello to all electronic visitors as you run to hug your son -- and then come back later to finish the conversation.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A few months back, I attended a family friend’s wedding. I gave cash as my gift. I received a phone call from the mother of the bride a few days later, and was informed that about 10 envelopes from the wedding went missing. Mine included.

It was heavily implied that I should re-give my original gift. I explained it was cash, and I was rudely cut off. Since then, the family has cut contact with me. Was I obligated to give my gift again?

GENTLE READER: No. But Miss Manners cannot help pointing out what a compelling argument this is against giving cash as a present. Or being friends with people who are so willing to extort it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a private duty nurse, I assist a disabled person with dressing, appointments and meals while his wife is at work (I prepare the meals for the patient and myself). When his wife arrives home from work, she insists on paying for my services just before I leave, and she often brings supper with her.

I feel as if I have invited myself to dinner and am invading family time. My commute to their home is over 30 minutes, so I cannot just pick up my check later. Will you suggest an appropriate way to excuse myself and receive payment?

GENTLE READER: It is difficult for Miss Manners to determine if you are truly worried about infringing on family time or would rather not conflate your professional duties with social ones. Both are valid, they just require different answers.

If the former, it is possible that the couple might actually enjoy your company and relish the break in their routine. You may accept their invitation without worry if you are so inclined.

But if you are asking how to politely make a quick, polite getaway while also getting paid in a timely manner, you may say, “I would love to join you, but I am afraid I have a prior commitment” -- even if that commitment is to your television.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: For well over a year now, I have been attending a managers’ meeting twice monthly at my firm. There are about eight persons in the group, and naturally it has evolved that we tend to sit in the same seats every meeting, where we eat lunch first.

Two meetings ago, there was a shift in the composition of the group: One person left the team and a new member joined. This person happens to be good friends with another person in the group.

Last meeting, the new member sat beside me. (The person who normally sits there didn’t attend, and no doubt wouldn’t mind anyway, as she is new to the group.) At today’s meeting, however, when I entered the room, her friend was in “my” seat and my lunch was placed further down the table. That person’s usual seat on the other side of the table was not taken.

What is the protocol here? Am I being overly sensitive to think she could have at least acknowledged that she had displaced me from my usual seat, of which she was well aware? Even a humorous comment would have made me feel better. Overly sensitive?

GENTLE READER: The tendency of meeting-goers to assume squatter’s rights over particular chairs leads to more misunderstandings in the workplace than Miss Manners likes to contemplate.

She could also note her astonishment that people who pride themselves on their businesslike, i.e., forthright, approach to life are so squeamish on the subject. If chairs are assigned, someone should say so; if they are not, then you should get on with the business of the day.

Miss Manners at least, feels better, even if she has not solved your problem. If we really must play musical chairs at every meeting, then Miss Manners coaches newcomers to arrive one minute before the meeting time -- when most people are in the room -- and ask in a loud, cheery voice, “Are there assigned seats for this meeting?” The agenda of the meeting can then be thrown out in favor of a lengthy debate on the question.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: For a friend’s retirement party, the invitation did not include my husband, so he did not go with me. When I got there, I found that many couples (friends of ours) were there.

Everyone, even the honoree’s husband, kept asking me where my husband was. I answered that the honoree did not know my husband well, so he was not invited. I felt awkward and embarrassed. How should I have handled this?

GENTLE READER: After you politely followed your hosts’ instructions, it is galling to learn that the invitation did not accurately express their intentions.

But broadcasting that your husband was not invited is neither polite nor will it assuage your own embarrassment. The criticism of your hosts in such a statement is explicit, the fact that no one else complied with similar invitations is implicit, and it makes clear that you are embarrassed -- as well as the only one who misunderstood. It would be better to say how sorry your husband was not to have been able to come, and omit the reason why.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was given an old mirror to use for an art show, as a feature in my booth where I sell women’s clothing of my own design. The friend who let me use it was vague about whether it was lent or given for that purpose. The mirror appears to be a part of an old armoire and doesn’t have any monetary or sentimental value. Three years have passed since the show. The mirror has since decorated my 5-year-old daughter’s room, where she uses it to dress, often checking her “look.”

The other day, my friend said, “Hey, if you have that mirror, I want it back.”

I am not a miserly person, but I kind of feel a little bit like a public storage unit. Do you have any thoughts or reflections about this situation, or am I totally in the wrong for feeling off about returning the item? Should I return it or let her know that I gave it to my daughter?

GENTLE READER: Three years is a long time for a mirror to be in doubt about its owner, and, assuming it’s not talking (other than to declare everyone who uses it the fairest of all), probably also too long to know who was in the wrong. Is it the owner for changing her mind, you for assuming that a loan was a present, or everyone, in that there was no mutual understanding at the time it was handed over?

Fortunately, it makes no difference. The owner now believes it was a loan, which means she is, gently or not-so-gently, accusing you of making off with her belonging.

The first order of business is therefore to clear yourself of the charge by apologizing and confessing that you misunderstood, as you thought it was a present. Miss Manners has no objection to your mentioning how attached your daughter has grown to it, so long as you then earnestly offer to return it.

If this does not discourage your friend from insisting on having it back, you will have to turn it over graciously if you wish to keep the friendship. It is worth remembering that what you consider uncompensated storage, she may think of as an uncompensated loan.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m a college freshman. My dad is giving my classmate and me a long ride, like two hours.

Should I sit in the front so that he won’t feel he’s being treated like a driver, or should I sit with my classmate in the back seat, since I don’t want to be rude to my guest?

GENTLE READER: You are right to think of yourself as a host in this situation, but Miss Manners has an easy solution. Put your classmate in the front. You thereby make it clear that your father is not the chauffeur, and your friend is not the baggage. It also leaves you free to swoop in to facilitate conversation as you like.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)