DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m in my 60s, and though I have aches and pains, I try to take a daily walk. Often I encounter a robust young lady striding along the sidewalk coming the other way. She always gives me a friendly smile, and seems like a good soul generally, but she barrels down the center of the sidewalk, forcing me into the gutter.

A friend who uses a walker says she has the same problem in her city, but as the young athletes bear down on her, they always say, “Excuse me.” How should we handle this situation?

GENTLE READER: Stop!

A stationary object is easier to avoid than a moving target, and you will be less likely to be injured if you are not throwing yourself into a ditch.

There is an unstated assumption that the object in motion bears the responsibility for avoiding a collision. Yet Miss Manners does not recommend that you increase the chances of your getting hurt. Therefore you will have to display mental, in place of physical, flexibility if you are to escape unscathed. A robust young lady should have the ability to avoid barreling into you -- particularly if you stop as soon as you see her coming -- and may not have swerved in the past merely because you already moved out of the way.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 28-year-old woman who was adopted from South Korea as an infant and has lived in the Midwest ever since. I wait tables on the weekends at a downtown restaurant.

I find that during almost every shift I work, at least one customer feels compelled to ask about my ethnicity. It’s usually people in their 40s-60s who wish to tell me that they used to date a Korean woman, know a Japanese girl or have a daughter-in-law from Vietnam.

I enjoy talking and laughing with my guests and am open to many topics, but I don’t understand why people feel comfortable asking this. When they ask what my nationality is, I respond “American,” but I have not crafted a good response to the question “What is your ethnicity?”

A simple “I don’t feel comfortable answering that question” and a change of subject make me seem standoffish and can affect the relationship with a customer. I generally like to respond with a little sarcasm so it can seem lighthearted. I’m not trying to lecture anybody, just show them why that was an impolite question.

GENTLE READER: ”As you can see, I look typically American.”

Or you could just get distracted in a way that demonstrates solicitousness for the customer: remembering one of the specials, excusing yourself to get the drinks list, or saying that you would love to get their order in so that they get their food quickly.

Yes, the question is impolite. And while Miss Manners assumes you never mean to offend, she recognizes that your interest in the customer’s satisfaction is about more than just etiquette.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My family has a long and active history of skin cancer. Like them, I am very pale and do not tan, but burn very easily. I cannot be out in the sun for more than an hour without a protective outfit.

Whenever the subject arises -- which it feels like it does on a frequent basis, given how much people love tanning -- I am met with remarks like, “Well, we’re all going to die someday” or “Oh, but don’t you want to try tanning a little just to see what happens?”

What will happen is a second-degree burn and another skin-check with my dermatologist.

I am left flabbergasted by these flippant comments. I am in my late 20s. I cannot believe anyone would think my getting cancer and dying young is even remotely all right. No one would think of saying such things about any other type of cancer. Perhaps death by skin cancer is OK, as long as one has a nice tan while they’re laid out.

Would you please suggest some comebacks I can keep in mind for when these comments inevitably come up again?

GENTLE READER: If “we’re all going to die someday” was meant as humor, Miss Manners is not amused.

She will gladly remind everyone that pushing people to do something they have said they do not want to do is rude, no matter their reasons. But since we all hope to be around for a long time, she will add that the price of civilization is understanding others’ comments as they were intended, not compounding them for the hundred other times someone else said the same foolish thing.

Miss Manners hopes that people will stop being inconsiderate about your condition. But even if that does not happen, she hopes you will be able to shrug them off with a polite “No, thank you,” instead of an angry retort, well into old age.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: After many years of heavy drinking, my husband has rather recently given up alcohol altogether. I am hosting a birthday dinner for him at a restaurant. Several guests are not aware that he no longer drinks, and given his past habits, it is likely that some will bring an expensive bottle of something as a birthday gift.

I want to let guests know ahead of time that he is not drinking, because I want to avoid a situation where my husband explains this at the party, then proceeds to open fancy bags of alcohol from our well-meaning friends.

However, I don’t want to imply that we are expecting any gifts, nor do I want guests to think they’re not welcome to drink at the dinner (other people’s drinking does not bother my husband, and we want our guests to have a good time). Is there any polite way to let our friends know the situation?

GENTLE READER: Surely the donors do not expect your husband to consume these presents on the spot, and he could merely thank them while saving the bottles to serve future guests.

Or you could mention your husband’s new resolution before the event. Miss Manners is confident that friends who are told, “Roger has felt so much better since he stopped drinking!” will draw their own conclusions about appropriate gifts.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When is it too soon to put up Christmas decorations?

I find myself getting agitated, this first week of November, with the number of Facebook friends gleefully posting photos that they have already decked the halls. I am agitated because I find it offensive.

May we please enjoy a little bit of fall, pumpkins, gourds -- and Thanksgiving? What about Thanksgiving?

What’s interesting is that with each and every post, these people are adding disclaimers: “Haters gonna hate,” “I know it’s early BUT ...” It’s as if deep down, they know. They know it’s just wrong.

Or is it? Miss Manners, is it just me and my middle-aged mind? Or is it just too early to be decorating for the holidays, nearly two months before the celebration?

GENTLE READER: This is not an issue on which you and Miss Manners get to vote.

Well, in one sense it is. Everyone who posts on social media is implicitly requesting admiration. And surely they all know they are also subject to snarky remarks. But please do not add to that unpleasant habit. At any rate, it would not discourage your friends who are anticipating such and planning to ignore it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A few months ago, I invited an acquaintance to my house for dinner. Without hesitation, she asked, “Are you a good cook?”

I didn’t know her well, but wanted to know her better; however, this question threw me. I was so shocked that I didn’t respond and she was, mercifully, distracted by someone else, so I let the invitation drop.

Just two days ago, I was at a housewarming party, where I met a charming woman who lives a few houses away from me. She was curious about my house, so I extended an invitation to her for dinner so she could see the interior. Again, without hesitation, she asked if I was a good cook!

Is this a new “thing”? I find it very rude, and my first reaction is to rescind the invitation. Am I too old-fashioned? How the heck do you respond to that question?!

GENTLE READER: “Well, I am not a professional chef. You’d probably be happier going to a restaurant.”

Because that is how some people have come to think of hosts’ houses. They answer invitations late or not at all, may not attend if they accept, or may show up with extra people. They attempt to dictate the menu and, in your cases, the quality. And they may never reciprocate. Restaurants can at least require credit card numbers in advance to protect themselves from some of the abuses.

You can only hope that your treating the remark as a serious inquiry will enable your potential guest to realize how insulting it is and to make amends.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m a gentleman with a shaved head, and it seems that whenever I travel and require a hair dryer, I receive snarky responses from either my hosts or hotel staff. These border on ridicule, generally accompanied by, “What in heavens do you need that for?”

Is it appropriate for me to respond with a long inventory of the many other body parts that I use it to dry?

GENTLE READER: That should be a conversation stopper. Or worse, a conversation starter. Miss Manners would prefer that you simply restate your request.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)