I have moved to a new part of the country. Trying to find a social outlet, I joined a bridge group.

When I first went in to play, I had a pretty good time -- until late in the afternoon, when I was partnered with a woman who was very critical of my game. (I can’t fault her bridge judgment; I am not a terrific player at all.) She became harsher as time went on, and I never felt like going back, it was so unpleasant.

How could I have responded constructively to this? I was taken aback!

GENTLE READER: Then you shouldn’t have trumped your partner’s king. (That Miss Manners condemns all rudeness does not prevent her from acknowledging the provocation.)

The time to declare your lack of expertise is when partner assignments are arranged. Better yet, speak to the group’s organizers about assigning bridge partners who play at a comparable level.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Good friends of ours have generously invited our family (my husband, our two kids and me) to spend a holiday weekend with them and another couple at their lakeside cottage, a 3.5-hour drive away. We have a max option of four nights’ stay.

My husband wants to spend the allotted time, but I am uncomfortable spending that many days away from home. I would be perfectly content with a two-nighter.

Do I, A. Suck it up and go on board with the family for the whole four nights, against my discomfort, or, B. Tell everyone (besides my husband, who knows the truth) that I have to stay behind a day or two because I have to work (which is not true), and drive up later to meet them?

I get homesick and feel “burned out” with lengthy stays -- even though I love these friends. (And, if it matters, we have pets at home that need care. I most likely can arrange for that, but haven’t confirmed anything thus far. Also, Husband didn’t seem fazed at the idea of me joining the gang a day or two later.)

I don’t like to lie, but I also feel that if I told the truth, I would come off as snobbish and/or cold. Is it OK to lie in this situation?

GENTLE READER: Lying is a big issue with Miss Manners’ Gentle Readers, many of whom are highly indignant when she recommends such pleasantries as “I had a lovely time” and “How nice to see you.” The virtue of kindness means nothing to them compared to that of expressing the literal truth about their negative feelings.

But that doesn’t have to be the choice. There is no dishonor, except perhaps in court, to withholding hurtful information. And it would be mean of you to tell generous hosts that you can stand only so much of their company, which is what your sentiment would convey.

Instead, say only, “I’m afraid that I can only stay for two days, but would you mind if Sean and the children stay two more? I know how much they would enjoy that.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A rather odious problem: My sister-in-law posted something on social media that was quite disturbing. She made a disparaging remark about my brother, which referenced their intimate (or lack thereof) relations and made a shocking and vulgar comment about my brother in that regard. Several family members saw the posting, one of whom asked her to remove it, which she did.

My brother does not know about this. He doesn’t use social media, and no one wants to tell him. I think he should know, but I can’t bring myself to tell him, and I’m not sure if I should.

Can you advise me? Should one of us tell him about this unfortunate event? If we tell him, I doubt he will be able to forgive her. I know I can’t. I’m about to make a trip home (I live in a distant city). I’m looking forward to seeing my brother, but I really don’t want to see my sister-in-law, and I’m not sure how to deal with this. Please let me know what you would do.

GENTLE READER: Stay as far away from the situation as possible. Miss Manners insists that no good can come from being the messenger here. Especially since the posting has since been taken down, there will be trust issues on all sides if the family accuses his wife of something that he can no longer witness himself, and that she can always deny.

It will be far easier -- and less expensive -- for your brother to engage in a lasting fight with his relatives than with his wife. If your brother does, at some point, find out and chastise you for not alerting him, you can rightly tell him that you thought it was none of your business. And alert your sister-in-law in kind.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Save-the-date cards for my upcoming wedding went out several months ago, and we’re preparing to send formal invitations in a few weeks. One of my fiance’s lifelong friends emailed me to confirm that he and his wife were still invited because, he said, “budgets and venues change.”

I was a little taken aback that he felt the need to ask. We considered all the major details final, including our guest list, once save-the-dates were out; we thought the save-the-date was itself a form of invitation. Are we correct in assuming that? Does rescinding a save-the-date, as our friend implied we might do, actually happen?

GENTLE READER: Probably, but that does not make it correct. Save-the-dates are binding on the part of the issuer, but not on the part of the receiver. They were created out of convenience for guests who need to plan their schedules and travel arrangements, not for hosts who might have changed their minds about their guests. If for no other reason, Miss Manners urges hosts to remember the travel arrangement part when they play fast and loose with their own financial decisions.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend who throws parties throughout the year and I’m always invited last-minute.

These gatherings are not very formal, so she frequently uses online invitations. The issue is that I can see messages from her preferred guests dating back a month before the party. I’m invited a week or two before the event.

I understand she is probably trying to control the number of people at the party, but I don’t like the feeling of being a consistent Plan B. Maybe she is hoping I already have plans and won’t be able to come, or maybe she does not want me to come at all. If that’s the case, I’m confused why she sends an invitation.

Should I consider not going to any of her events since I don’t feel truly welcome?

GENTLE READER: Clearly, it is up to you if you want to attend or not, but burdening yourself with subtext of how wanted or not you are will likely render the event far less enjoyable. On a highly related side note, Miss Manners encourages hosts, if they must issue invitations electronically, to keep the guest lists private just for this reason.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am the youngest of four children. My brother and two sisters are all married and have children, so over the years, I have bought numerous gifts for my family members. Mind you, my niece and nephews are now getting married and having children -- so that means more gifts.

I am 46 years old and just have not found the “right one” yet. I also have no children and do not see it happening in the near future. I am moving into my first home. Can I register for gifts at a housewarming party?

GENTLE READER: No. As much as it may seem that people only get married and have children for the loot that results, that is not actually the intended purpose. However, Miss Manners will allow you to host a housewarming party, as long as you do not demand gifts in the form of registries and shopping lists (which, she feels compelled to add, your siblings should not have done, either). If presents do materialize, you may accept them graciously.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If I got married in 1979 but separated for 10 years in the ‘80s, do I celebrate my 38th anniversary this year, or my 28th?

GENTLE READER: If you were technically married during that time, then 38, if both of you so wish. Clearly, those 10 years were important to the marriage. But Miss Manners recommends that you defer to the number of years that one of you feels most strongly about -- lest you lose another 10 in the deliberation.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When an invitation to a birthday party says 2 p.m. to 4 p.m., can a guest come at any time between 2 and 4?

GENTLE READER: Not without wasting a good deal of effort. A party that has a set time period means that it will start -- and more importantly, end -- promptly. However, since hosts are only able to actually enforce the ending part, Miss Manners assures you that you will only have yourself to blame for the missed fun and squandered energy in getting there if you choose to come late.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)