DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have dinner with a small group of longtime friends who come together once or twice a year to touch base. One person in the group tends to dominate the conversation with greatly detailed storytelling of mishaps and adventures of family members and friends.

I believe I speak for the others in the group as well -- as I recognize the glaze in their eyes and the curious questions ceasing -- that we’d all like a chance to contribute and catch up. For example, I want to hear about everyone’s newest grandchild, latest hobby or how they’re coping with an aging parent, but it’s hard to get past this one long-winded person. Can you suggest a delicate way to redirect the conversation without being rude?

GENTLE READER: Even when a dinner party includes a relatively small number of guests, etiquette allows -- even expects -- many multiple, simultaneous conversations among different groupings. It is natural that at some point in the evening, attention may focus on a single speaker, but not for more than a few minutes.

When your lecturer begins, feel free to start a separate conversation with your next neighbor. If your guests follow your lead, only one or two people need be bored at a time, and this duty can be quietly rotated as you move from pre-dinner drinks, to the table, to after-dinner coffee.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son is engaged and I am over the moon. I have more friends that want to throw a party to celebrate their engagement than invitations allotted to the wedding. I have hosted parties for many of their children in the past and I know they want to do the same for me.

What should I do? Do I let them throw a party even though they will not be invited to the wedding, or do I politely decline?

GENTLE READER: How many of these offers were you planning on accepting? Miss Manners agrees that anyone hosting a party should be invited to the wedding, but she assumes that at least one of the prospective hosts is already on the invitation list. Everyone else can be thanked but told that a party is already scheduled.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our family received a save-the-date card in the mail for an upcoming bar mitzvah. Our families’ children attend school together and our family was very excited to be included.

The save-the-date card remains posted in our kitchen, but no invitation was received. The party is now only two weeks away. No calls have been received from the family or their party planner asking if we plan to attend for their final count. What to do?

GENTLE READER: Having been asked to save the date, it is only reasonable of you to assume that an invitation would be forthcoming. Miss Manners would not want you to be accused of not responding to an invitation that was mailed but not delivered, nor for your hosts to feel regret that you missed the event because of a mistake on their part -- either failing to mail an intended invitation or assuming that the “save the date” was all that was required.

You should therefore inquire directly. If the omission was not innocent -- for example, an attempt to solicit gifts without an invitation -- you will find out soon enough.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do I announce my second wedding, which will be a tropical destination wedding for two only?

Most of our immediate friends and family know of our recent decision. We made this choice after months of debate over who we could and could not invite to a more intimate local wedding.

The list of invitees was always greater than our budget could afford, and we were also set on taking a honeymoon that neither of us had in our first attempts at marriage. Finally, landing on a destination wedding seemed to make things right by us, yet I need to make sure I don’t exclude all who have shown us love and support over the years and throughout our journey of love and life shared together.

Additionally, many have expressed an interest in making contributions toward our destination wedding, which they can do online.

How do I include such a reference in an announcement, when it will simply be an announcement and not a “save the date” or an invitation? I don’t want to appear needy and/or inappropriate, but I also don’t want to disregard the wishes of those who’ve expressed such.

GENTLE READER: A short vocabulary review is in order.

A destination wedding is one in which the guests are invited to a location that is chosen for its charms to the couple, rather than for any association with them or their families. If no guests are invited, it is called an elopement.

A wedding announcement cannot be confused with an invitation or a save-the-date notice because it is sent after the wedding -- its purpose being not to herald an event, but to announce that one has taken place.

Miss Manners hopes that this is helpful because she refuses to assist you in soliciting funds for your trip. People who have expressed the wish to contribute deserve to be thanked individually, which is when you can tell them how to do it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had a small dinner party for a group of folks who know each other well. Some of these folks had been to my place before, and others had not.

I announced at the outset that cold beverages were in the refrigerator and that wine and glasses were on the counter, and that I hoped that all would consider themselves at home, and to feel free to help themselves to anything that they wanted.

This seemed to surprise some. Was I too forward? Could you just respond with a short answer such as, “You are the host; act like one,” or, “Very welcoming”?

GENTLE READER: All right: You are the host; act like one.

But Miss Manners is reluctant to leave it at that, because of course a host should be welcoming. It is just that the warm and well-intentioned directive to “Make yourself at home” is not taken literally by polite guests, nor should it be.

You wouldn’t want your friends to rummage in your bedroom drawers as if they were at home. And they do not want to rummage in your refrigerator. Acting like a host requires treating them as welcome guests.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Many restaurant servers and food handlers in sandwich shops and fast-food stores are wearing facial jewelry, like nose rings and lip, eyebrow, nose, tongue and chin piercings.

I don’t know why, but these facial piercings literally nauseate me. My appetite is gone.

What to do? If I complain to the manager, the server might get fired. If I ask for another server, a friend who works in restaurants said it is very likely the kitchen staff will get even by contaminating my food.

Also, some food servers sport arm tattoos from their neck to their wrists. Some tattoos are pictorial, but many are word messages.

What’s the proper thing to do? Do I try to read the messages or look at images? Are tattoos like these an invitation for attention? Is it OK to ask, “What does that tattoo mean?”

GENTLE READER: It strikes Miss Manners that you are more interested in the food handlers than the food.

And while you should not patronize a restaurant that brings on nausea, for whatever reason, you should not presume that the price of a meal entitles you to critique or question the appearance of the staff. The time to check out the staff is before you sit down, so that you can dine elsewhere if their appearance upsets you.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: On a muggy 95-degree day, I was a passenger in my sister’s car when she pulled into a filling station. She (an attractive woman in her late 40s) was swiping her credit card when I noticed the man on the opposite side of the pump, a well-groomed man in his 60s, watching her with a smile.

When she turned to lift the pump nozzle, he quickly stepped forward and said “May I?” in a courtly tone. She was taken aback, then recovered, thanked him sincerely, and then rounded the vehicle and got in out of the heat. I heard him ask “Fill it up?” as she stepped away and she replied “Yes, please,” before shutting her car door.

I was somewhat taken aback, as it seemed clear to me that he offered to pump so she could avoid sullying her hands, but didn’t expect to be left out in the heat without a bit of chitchat.

She maintained that he likely offered to spare her from the heat, and if so, what was the point of standing outside while he pumped? But, following my observation, she did begrudgingly exit the car and root in the trunk on some pretext, giving herself another opportunity to thank him. He graciously replied and that was that; we all drove away.

Miss Manners, what would you have made of the same circumstances? My sister was irked at my interpretation and the implication that she committed a faux pas by jumping into the car while the stranger completed the task.

GENTLE READER: This car probably has a window. A compromise would have been for your sister to lower it and express her thanks then.

But Miss Manners shares her distaste for your implication that an act of gallantry must be met with one of flirtation.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)