DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have gathered from reading your column that one should not ask personal questions of strangers, nor make comments (even positive ones) regarding their appearance. I have also gathered that the response of the approached person should be civil, but not revealing.

How, if at all, is this rule altered when the approaching person is an adult and the approached is a young child?

My nearly 3-year-old child is approached several times on any given outing, with comments about her (fairly ordinary) clothing and questions about her age, name and favorite color. What we have been doing, so far, is to have me answer the questions (more specifically than I prefer, because I don’t know how to word a vague reply) and thank strangers for their compliments while she remains silent.

I would like to teach her an all-purpose sentence that is polite, but discourages further, unwanted conversation. What I believe she would like to convey is, “I appreciate your interest, but my mother and I would prefer to continue our shopping (or conversation, or walk) undisturbed.” Of course, I know that wording is not correct, so I turn to Miss Manners for something better.

GENTLE READER: If you can get your 3-year-old to recite the sentence you propose, Miss Manners suspects you will have no further problems: You will have plenty of time to make a discreet escape while the now-perplexed questioner wonders at her precocious politeness.

Failing that, let your daughter answer the first question naturally, then politely interrupt and apologize, explaining to child and stranger alike that it is time to go.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the most proper method of apologizing to a company that complained -- not to me, or to my team leader, but to the company owner -- that I was unprofessionally emotional while trying to finalize a ridiculously challenging deal? (My first ever, by the way.)

Had they brought their concerns to me, or even just to my team leader, my apology would be sincere, but now it is tainted with resentment. In most cases, I would prefer to do it in person, or even in a written note, but in this case would an email be sufficient?

GENTLE READER: There are many ways to undercut the apology you are delivering. Using a less formal method of communication -- email -- may be less objectionable than a teenager’s delivering it in a sarcastic tone or an adult’s use of a non-apology (“I’m sorry you were offended”).

But whence all this resentment? Miss Manners could not help but notice that you never denied the charge. You excused it, and you object that the complainant jumped too many levels in reporting it. Neither entitles you to respond emotionally.

And given the original offense, Miss Manners would have thought you might wish to plant some doubt with your employer about your propensity to misbehave. A handwritten note will do this more effectively than email, and without the danger that your temper may ruin an in-person apology.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son has a 3-year-old daughter with his fiancee. His fiancee’s mother and father have been divorced for about 12 years and are on very unfriendly terms.

Because the bride doesn’t want her mother to make a scene on her special day, the bride and my son have chosen to marry with only their daughter, the minister and a witness present.

I love my future daughter-in-law very much. But as the mother of the groom, I am very sad that I will not get to see my only son get married. I feel that the bride’s parents could surely get along for an hour for the sake of their daughter’s happiness.

The couple plan to have a luncheon following the ceremony with immediate family only. The bride’s mother has remarried and will be coming with her current husband and her son. There will be a separate luncheon and shower for the bride’s father’s side of the family.

I understand this will be the bride’s day, but my husband and I feel we are being penalized because of issues between her mother and father. I am really sad. I do not want to add drama to the situation and don’t want to cause any hard feelings between anyone, but I am feeling hurt.

GENTLE READER: That it is “the bride’s day,” with the understanding that therefore she can do whatever she wants, is an expression that Miss Manners loathes. No one should have a day off from being considerate of others, and especially not on a family occasion.

But this poor bride, caught between warring forces, is not asking for self-glorification. She only wants a dignified and peaceful ceremony. And no doubt she knows better than you that her parents could not “surely” get along for an hour.

Presumably, you are included in the luncheon afterward, perhaps even both luncheons. What you can do is what the other parents apparently cannot: Enjoy the occasion without tainting it with any hurt feelings of your own.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My neighbor asked my daughter to look after their two dogs for a week while they were on vacation. They gave her a very demanding schedule to follow, which she happily complied with. They said they would pay her, but specific amounts were not discussed.

They have been back from vacation for a couple of weeks now and stopped by a few days ago to see how things went. However, they have still not paid her.

How would you suggest she handle this situation? My daughter feels like she has been taken advantage of.

GENTLE READER: As she will continue to be, if she does not learn proper business procedures.

Miss Manners understands that your daughter feels that it would be unseemly for her to ask for payment from the neighbors, with whom you have a sort of social relationship. But once they hired her, a business relationship was established. Then it is not just proper, but expected that she will present a bill for her services, which can be softened with a note about how she was happy to help them. Please encourage her to do so.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have a (relatively) large family with five children, in an area where zero to two children is considered normal. Often when we’re out, or in a social setting where we have just introduced ourselves, people will ask whether we are done having children.

To me, that’s really none of their business. I don’t ask about their reproductive health. What would be a good reply?

GENTLE READER: “Well, for today, yes.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A year ago, two lovely girls were killed in a car accident in our neighborhood. This was of course very sad, and people brought flowers, balloons and such to the site of the accident. This seemed appropriate.

But now, a year later, the families are still bringing stuff to the site, and one family is planning to erect a permanent marker there. This seems to me like overkill. It seems to me like the gravesites would be the right places to bring remembrances. Or am I unfeeling? I’m sure Miss Manners will let me know.

GENTLE READER: Yes, but she would share your reluctance to let the bereaved families know. Contrary to the popular belief in “closure,” there is no time limit on such grief.

Why commemoration should take the form of balloons (and often teddy bears, even for grownup victims), Miss Manners has never quite understood. But again -- if it brings comfort, she will not complain.

However, endless focusing on the site of the accident strikes her as an unfortunate way to memorialize two lovely young girls. Surely there was more to remember about their lives than the tragedy of their deaths.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was not invited to my niece’s birthday party. No invitation was sent to myself or my husband because of problems within the family.

Were we wrong for not going to the party that we were not formally invited to? We did not want to show up uninvited and have more problems start at my poor little niece’s party. If we were invited we WOULD have gone.

GENTLE READER: Will you be surprised to hear that Miss Manners does not consider it wrong to refrain from crashing a party to which you were not invited?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I went to dinner with our daughter, granddaughters and daughter’s boyfriend. My husband paid the bill. After leaving the restaurant, I received a text from our daughter’s boyfriend (he has never sent a text to my husband), saying “Sorry, tell your hubby thank you for dinner, please.”

I felt that to be a chauvinistic response, since it was technically both my husband’s and my money paying for the dinner. Where was my thank-you? I felt he should have said “I’m sorry, I forgot to thank you and Jason for dinner. Please pass this on to Jason.“

Am I wrong or overreacting?

GENTLE READER: You might consider overreacting if your daughter is thinking of marrying this person. He seems to think that it is only the husband who represents the family in dispensing hospitality. Miss Manners does not consider it relevant where the money came from or who actually paid the bill.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)