DEAR MISS MANNERS: When one writes to close friends/family, what are the possible letter endings? And in the case of teachers, which is a suitable letter ending?

Where would it be apt to use “Yours sincerely,” “Yours faithfully” and “Yours truly”? And to which kinds of recipients?

GENTLE READER: You and Miss Manners must be the only people left who use the conventional forms in letters. Others apparently suffer from the current Fear of Formality, believing that anything short of chumminess is snooty -- even in obviously formal situations. Or they may analyze the words and decide that they are not “yours” at all to the recipient, let alone sincerely, faithfully or truthfully.

Thus many letters now open with “Hi” instead of “Dear,” and end with “Best wishes,” “Best regards” or just “Best.” They could do better.

Miss Manners realizes that forms change over the years. She admits that “I remain, sir, your most humble, obedient servant” would not now pass either the truth test or the literal meaning test.

Still, she would like to retain some difference between addressing lovers, strangers and those in between. In formal correspondence, “Yours truly” is the closing for business letters. “Sincerely yours” is for social correspondence short of the love-and-kisses stage, or the more restrained “Fondly yours” or “Affectionately yours” for close friends and relatives.

Which would be suitable for a teacher depends on the content of the letter.

If you are writing to demand a change in your grade, it should be businesslike; if you are expressing gratitude for intellectual enlightenment, the more personal declaration of sincerity would be warranted.

But Miss Manners is not quite so rigid as to exclude a burst of enthusiasm, such as “Gratefully yours,” in the latter case. And those for whom “sincerely” and “truly” are not chummy enough should feel free to toss in a “very” with either one.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When we were invited to a wedding reception for a co-worker and friend, the invitation made it clear that the event was a dinner reception at a local restaurant. In small print at the bottom, we were told we were expected to pay for our meal due to lack of finances.

We were a bit taken back by this, as the bride and groom had just recently returned from Disney World, but we attended and paid for our meals. A few months later, they had a baby shower, for which we provided food and a gift.

To my surprise, in the mail today we received a save the date for the couple’s wedding -- over a year after the first wedding reception.

How do we respond? I feel we already attended a wedding celebration, and have no reason to attend another. Other friends who’ve been invited are also confused as to how to respond, and feel like this couple is just seeking attention, money and gifts.

GENTLE READER: You think?

Miss Manners advises you to stop participating. She promises you that these people are not planning to stop asking.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I went out to brunch with a friend I have known for many years, we became a little intoxicated, and through the course of laughter, my friend said to me that I am much more fun when I’m drunk.

She isn’t the first person to say this to me, and this particular friend has said it a few times now. Another friend once said to me that the drunk version of me is more fun to hang out with.

I’m always unsure how to respond, because the implication, no matter how it’s worded, is that I’m not fun when I’m sober. I have a great sense of humor, and I use it often. Maybe I am sensitive, but I know I’m not an uptight person; I can be silly and cut loose, especially with my friends, even when sober.

How do I respond to this statement that I feel is more insulting than complimentary?

GENTLE READER: “Oh dear, what a bore I must be when I am sober. But as the alternative would be acquiring a drinking problem -- and neither of us wants that -- I am afraid you will have to continue to put up with me.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a longtime disciple of yours, I know to promptly mail a handwritten thank-you note upon receipt of a gift. Often, I find that I am in very routine communication with a gift-giver via text and email.

Upon receipt of a gift, is it necessary to acknowledge it right away via text or email, or should my first acknowledgment of the gift be via the formal, mailed thank-you note? If the former, how would I differentiate the two messages so that the formal thank-you note doesn’t exactly mirror what I’ve already texted?

If the latter, how should I handle a “Did you receive the gift?” text when the thank-you note is in the mail, but has obviously not yet been received by the gift-giver?

GENTLE READER: Writing a prompt thank-you letter is the first line of defense. And Miss Manners thanks you for doing so diligently.

If, however, you find yourself engaged with the giver before the message has been delivered, she suggests some version of, “I did receive your present and I love it. Thank you. A note is in the mail.” If pressed for particulars, try to generate a generous list of adjectives to describe it -- so that you do not repeat the ones that you have already used.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’d like to know if it’s rude to eavesdrop on one’s wife when she’s talking to herself.

GENTLE READER: It depends on what she says -- and whether or not you want to get caught. If you are worried that you will be reprimanded, you can always plead ignorance: “I am sorry, dear, but I thought you were talking to me.” This will either get you off the hook -- or force your wife to watch what she is saying aloud.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A family hosts a banquet dinner for a large group of people on a certain athletic team. The host family provides drinks, appetizers, a couple of main courses and desserts for all.

Some guests bring food to share, but, for a variety of reasons, those dishes are barely tasted or left untouched altogether. The hostess wants to send that food back with the givers, but the host insists on keeping it.

His point is, “How would you feel if no one ate what you brought/prepared for the party? It would be so hurtful, almost insulting! As good hosts, we have to show gratefulness, praise the food others contributed, and keep it after the party, even though we’ll dispose of it all right away.”

Without offending anyone, the hostess simply wants to avoid wasting the food, and returning the offering with the giver seems reasonable to her. What would Miss Manners do, please?

GENTLE READER: As someone used to writing about herself in the third person, Miss Manners recognizes its stabilizing effect. But she is not convinced it will help you convince your husband of the error of his ways. She applauds you both for considering the feelings of your guests first. But as you have noticed, bringing a meal to the home of someone who went to some trouble to set an inviting table is not likely to be taken as a compliment. Graciously send the unsolicited food home with the guests who brought it -- before you find yourself washing their dishes and delivering back their food containers.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a distant relative whom I have met only once, as children too young to remember the occurrence. Family is important to me, so as an adult, I began to write to her. She writes a few times a year, and sends the occasional photo of her grandchildren.

We seem to have little, if anything at all, in common, other than our common ancestor. I have made the effort to remember her “current events,” grandchildren’s ages and interests, etc., since these things are important to her.

However, she has not reciprocated. This has been the situation for nearly 10 years now. I have decided that I don’t wish to continue our correspondence, as it seems much like talking to a brick wall -- no response to my life events or follow-up conversation about hers.

What is the appropriate, and kindest, way to approach this? Shall I make a polite excuse about not wanting to stay in touch anymore, or is it perhaps better to simply stop, as one does in regard to exchanging holiday cards? I suspect she may feel as “relieved” to end our correspondence as I would be.

GENTLE READER: Breaking off future communications is a dramatic gesture usually reserved for people we want to shock into communicating more, or for pests who won’t stop communicating.

In neither case does it warm the hearer’s heart. Your relative, despite your efforts, remains merely distant. Miss Manners recommends a more neglectful approach.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)