DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend of mine is marrying a cad who is only after her money. Do I attend the wedding to support her, or stay away?

GENTLE READER: Whatever you think of the future Mr. Friend, you have presumably had your say and been overruled -- by the person who will bear the consequences if you, and not she, turn out to be correct.

If the support you intend to offer is of the “You’re going to regret this” variety, Miss Manners suggests you find an unrelated reason for not being able to attend. But as your friend would like you to be there, the preferred course of action is to do so, graciously.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: After serving my company as a manager in an exemplary fashion (as I was frequently told) for over 10 years, I was in line for a promotion, which my boss and all my colleagues knew I wanted and expected to receive.

Instead, my boss chose someone else, and offered me what he considered an even better promotion, except that the responsibilities of that job did not appeal to me at all. So I turned it down. I was only vaguely aware that this “better” position existed; at no time, either when I interviewed for the job I wanted, or before or after this period, did my boss even ask me if I had any interest in this “better” position.

I have accepted that it was his decision to choose someone else, and I still would have turned down the “better” job even if he had handled it diplomatically, but I am very, very hurt by his poor communication.

I still have to work with him, although I won’t be seeing him as often now. I don’t want to be childish about this, I don’t want to carry a grudge, but I don’t like or trust this man particularly anymore. How do I respond when I see him, when he asks me (jauntily, as is his style) how I am doing?

GENTLE READER: It has come to Miss Manners’ attention that modern businesspeople blame everything from rude emails to embezzlement on “poor communication.” She innocently thought the term referred to her cellular telephone’s carefree disdain for clarity and intelligibility.

Your boss committed three actions to which you object, none primarily a failure of communication. He didn’t give you the job you wanted. He offered you a job you didn’t want -- or more precisely, he made a decision for you about what you would like. And he is jaunty, which Miss Manners interprets to mean “friendly, in a possibly condescending and likely unprofessional manner.”

The first is, as you recognize, within his right. The latter two show a poor understanding of the divide between business and personal manners. Do not fall into his error. You have reason not to like or trust this man, but you are not required to do either. He is your boss, not your friend or your father. Treat him with every professional courtesy, and keep your personal feelings for your friends and family.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter is very hurt that no one has sent her recent graduate anything yet. It has been one week, and she did not send out announcements.

Is it proper to put on Facebook how disappointed she is and that her son deserves better? What is the proper timeline for such things?

GENTLE READER: It depends on what the objective would be in doing this.

If you are predicting a resulting outpouring of love and material offerings from those to whom this scolding is directed, Miss Manners rather doubts that it will be successful. However, if the idea is to make your daughter appear greedy and her son to appear pathetic, the chances are good.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When talking with my husband of 30 years, he feels he needs to correct every word mispronounced. I find it irritating and lose my thought process when telling a story or my train of thought. He does it more as he has gotten older. What do you think?

GENTLE READER: That 30 years is a long time to refrain from attacking someone who drives you crazy. Unless, of course, you keep mispronouncing the same words, in which case Miss Manners imagines that it is he who is about to go over the brink.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m in a serious, one-year relationship with a wonderful man. He has a passion for running, which keeps him quite fit. I am a personal chef with a passion for food and entertaining, which often leaves me too tired to think of exercise. I could stand to lose a few pounds if either one of us were bothered by it.

I was able to meet his parents, who are equally passionate about a fit lifestyle, and was invited to dinner in their home. During the meal, I asked to be passed the dish of pasta that was served. His father obliged and then his mother said, “I’m sure Johnny will get you hooked on running so that you can start burning that stuff right off.”

I went from confused to shocked, and then offended. And I responded “You’re right, I’ll refrain. I was just being polite as it is obvious you wouldn’t normally have guests in your home.” My boyfriend quickly changed the subject and we went on with the evening.

My boyfriend later told me that I was incredibly rude. I told him that I simply replied to his mother’s statement in kind. I know Miss Manners is often put to the task of deciding who is correct so, in this instance, I would like to ask what she would have done in my shoes. By the way, his parents live on the opposite side of the country, and I do hate running.

GENTLE READER: The gentleman was right: You were incredibly rude. Mind you, his parents were rude, too, but that is no excuse for your being so.

Besides, Miss Manners can’t help noticing that they inadvertently hit on a weakness of yours: You really don’t know when to stop. You could have made your point while staying within the bounds of politeness by stopping after saying, “You’re right, I’ll refrain.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a sibling who oftentimes puts me on her speakerphone when we talk. It is frustrating to me, and I feel like she’s really saying, “I’m busy and don’t have time to talk.” I think it’s rude.

She probably uses her speaker function in her business as a real estate agent, but I would find the habit equally as abrasive if I were a client. I think speakerphones are fine for conference calls, but person to person, it sends a negative message.

How would you handle this, or just let it go? Maybe I am wrong. If so, that answer would suffice.

GENTLE READER: Using a speakerphone during a private conversation is not actually rude, unless that conversation is not actually private. Miss Manners is inclined to be lenient on the mechanics of the situation as long as there is an understanding that any previously unspecified listeners are always announced.

If you find it otherwise intolerable, then you may say, “I am afraid this connection is bad. Sometimes speakerphones can muddy the sound reception -- and I don’t want to miss anything. Do you mind taking me off and seeing if it is any better?” And then tell them that it is.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am about to have my second child, and I am formula-feeding this baby, as I did my first. Any recommendations for a more polite response than “None of your darn business” when asked why I chose to formula-feed? I prefer not to go into my mental health and prescribed medications with anyone but my husband.

GENTLE READER: “Thank you for your concern, but this was a decision made between our doctor and our family.” While you clearly should not have to justify your parenting choices, it is Miss Manners’ hope that citing a professional authority -- one not of the internet variety -- will quiet these nosy inquiries.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I told a good friend, who was 63 at the time, was still working, and had two kids under the age of 18, that he could collect Social Security checks for them until they turned 18, as I did.

At first, he did not believe me; then when he inquired and it was all true, he quit his job that he HATED and has collected over $60,000 in the past three years.

I never received even a thank-you. I dropped a few “you owe me’s,” but they fell on deaf ears. If that was me, I would have sent him at least dinner for two somewhere. I never ignore someone who does me a favor. Any other way to handle this besides letting it go?

GENTLE READER: For three years you have been waiting for this thank-you? If you were involved (as Miss Manners’ own dear father was) in actually setting up the Social Security system, then the whole country owes you a debt of gratitude.

But if this is not, in fact, the case, while a thank-you for the tip might have been nice, your burgeoning grudge most definitely is not. If Miss Manners informed you of a sale at a retail store, would she then deserve a cut of the money you saved? Unfortunately for you, your only choice is to let it go -- or to enter a field where a commission is warranted.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)