DEAR MISS MANNERS: I know that times have probably changed with regard to the proper way to invite someone to your home, what with the popularity of social media, etc. I, myself, use social media, but I would like to know what is the protocol.

I moved to a city where an old acquaintance lives, and she reached out to me via Facebook and email to let me know she and her husband would like to have me and my husband over for dinner sometime. The invitation was casual, but she asked me what days my husband and I would be free.

I told her that Sundays are acceptable, and she can let me know what day would work for her family (they have small children; we do not).

She has not responded since, and I am wondering now if I’ve offended her or if I was expected to pick a certain date and make arrangements to have dinner at her house. I guess I always thought that if you extend an invitation to dine at your home, and the guest gives a general idea of when he/she would be free, it would then be up to the host/hostess to offer to have dinner on a certain date, with a potential back-up date in case something comes up.

Am I wrong here? Am I being too old-fashioned in this case?

GENTLE READER: Social media has not changed the world to the extent that the guest determines the specifics of an invitation to someone else’s house.

Miss Manners suspects that the casualness that you are perceiving is instead a lack of timeliness -- and/or that your friend simply hasn’t figured out the most convenient option yet. It is also possible that something in the word “acceptable” threw her off, and she fears that this will be more of an obligation for you than a pleasure.

If you are concerned, contact her again, say that you are eager to see her and that you hope a Sunday works out soon. Or invite her over to your house instead. At a specific date and time.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work in an office where I have to correspond with customers in foreign countries. I will sometimes run into a foreign name where I cannot figure out if the person is male or female (this, of course, could happen with “domestic” names, as well).

How do I address my letter or email back to them? If the person signed their letter as “First Last,” I don’t want to appear too familiar and address my reply to “Dear First.” But I also don’t want to address it as “Dear Mr. Last” if “Mr.” Last is really a she. The least offensive thing that I can think of is “Dear First Last,” but that seems awfully strained. Do you have any better suggestions?

GENTLE READER: The solution you suggested will be less strained than the ensuing conversation if you guess wrong. (The first and surnames could also be reversed.) Miss Manners finds that “Dear Sir or Madam” is less personal, but also effective.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Should one ask before a job interview if there is a dress code for the interview?

GENTLE READER: No. It is not that Miss Manners considers it unmannerly -- or even unreasonable -- for employees to get clear direction from the boss, or, in its absence, to make inquiries. It is rather that she believes that, in this case, any answer you receive will make your problem worse, not better.

The most likely response will be a misguided attempt to put you at ease -- something along the lines of, “Oh, really, wear anything that makes you comfortable.” Then what? Do you make a poor impression by wearing your jogging clothes to what you know to be a stuffy law firm that disdains casual Fridays? Or do you disregard the first instruction from the person you hope will be your new boss?

And if instead the boss admits that a jacket and tie are expected, what will he think of your judgment when you needed help figuring out something that, to him, is obvious? Remember that being overdressed shows respect for the interview and a desire to get the job, while being underdressed shows the opposite. Consider this your first job assignment.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My dear mother was in the ER, and after 24 hours awake, we were all exhausted and returned home at 7 a.m.

The phone rang soon after with a concerned friend. I explained that Mom was better, but the friend chatted on until I wished the caller good night and hung up. Then I unplugged the phones to get some rest. We had no sooner gotten our second cup of coffee after a few hours’ nap when people called wanting to stop by.

How do I keep these overeager but well-meaning friends at bay until we are rested and ready to receive company?

GENTLE READER: Given the endless number of ways in which modern technology can be used rudely, Miss Manners is always pleased to find the occasional polite usage. Email or text family and close friends a brief report, including the fact that everyone is now going to get some needed rest.

Note the delivery mechanism and the circulation list. She does not advocate (or condone) posting your mother’s medical chart on your social media account; your mother might not be grateful when she recovers.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Beginning of the day, someone walks into a room already occupied by another person. Doesn’t common courtesy dictate that that person would say “good morning” first to the person already there?

GENTLE READER: Since common courtesy dictates that each person issue, or respond with, a greeting, Miss Manners is not fussy about the order -- so long as someone starts, so that both can get on with the rest of the day.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: In the unfortunate event that someone would be unable to wear their wedding band on the left ring finger (for example, due to injury), what would the appropriate alternative be? The middle finger of the left hand? The ring finger of the right hand? No ring whatsoever?

GENTLE READER: Unless that someone is trying to advertise being married, perhaps to fend off eager would-be suitors -- in which case, why not just say so? -- Miss Manners considers this a personal decision.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife caught me eating at the sink.

I said: ”I bet Miss Manners eats at the sink.”

She said: ”Miss Manners gets served by waiters and footmen.”

Please resolve the correctness of standing and eating at the sink.

GENTLE READER: You are both wrong about Miss Manners’ dining habits, but that should not be the issue here. The issue is not even whether one should eat at the sink.

Rather, it is getting caught eating at the sink.

Unlike morals, manners apply only when they affect other people. Much as we admire those who behave perfectly (or so they say) when they are unobserved, their virtue is unconnected with etiquette.

It is possible that many unsavory things go on in kitchens, and Miss Manners, for one, is grateful not to witness them. She has never understood the restaurant fad for having openly visible kitchens. So the next time you eat at the sink or lick the ladle or stick a spoon into the ice cream carton, make sure the kitchen door is closed.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: It seems that many people are taking adages stressing the importance of laughing at oneself a bit too far.

Many times, I have been inconvenienced by the small mistakes of others and stood ready to forgive and forget, if only an apology were provided. For example, the teacher of an exercise class might forget to bring a necessary item, thus diminishing the students’ experience, or a doctor’s desk staff might be away from the desk, backs turned and munching cake, initially ignoring patients. In one case, I attended a party during which a fellow guest soiled my friend’s floor with dirty shoes.

Small apologies were the only things necessary in each case, but they were not offered. Instead, each offender broke into laughter, adding jovially, “Oh, we’re too busy eating to care about patients!” or, “Oh my gosh! I am getting dirt on your floor! Ha ha ha!”

I take it that these people would like their victims to laugh along, but, while none of these things is of monumental importance, they are also not humorous in any way. I have trouble laughing at anything but a good joke, and the fact that others do not care if they inconvenience me does not cause me to giggle.

What is the proper response? Am I correct that the minor offenders are behaving improperly by substituting laughter for an apology?

GENTLE READER: There is nothing that chills misplaced laughter so much as a blank look and silence, Miss Manners has observed. But if that doesn’t prompt an apology, you can say, “I don’t get it. What’s so funny?” This gives the offender the opportunity to retreat by claiming to have laughed only out of embarrassment.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is best and appropriate for the mother of the groom to wear to an elegant, outdoor barn wedding venue? The bride is wearing a beautiful off-white, strapless, mermaid-style bridal gown.

GENTLE READER: Never having understood the concept of a wedding “theme,” Miss Manners does not need to dwell on the mental picture of a mermaid in a barn.

Neither do you. Whatever the bridal industry may claim, the couple’s mothers are not specifically costumed, but may wear whatever they like in keeping with the degree of formality that applies to the other guests.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)