DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a male member of a popular dating website. When I read the profile of someone I'd like to meet, I write them a personalized letter pointing out some of our common interests, adding a bit of levity where I can, suggesting we meet for coffee and conversation. These letters generally run from five to eight sentences. In other words, I've put some effort into it.

I rarely receive any response. Since we are both members of this group seeking the same goal -- companionship -- doesn't social etiquette require some acknowledgment of receipt and a response?

Even if there is no interest on their part, what is so difficult in responding, "Thank you for your interest. While I enjoyed reading your profile, I do not see us as a couple. Best of luck in your search"?

I think it's very rude to ignore someone's personal communication to you. Jane Austen would be aghast at the behavior of her gender in the 21st century!

GENTLE READER? Do you think so?

Could you be confusing her with Lady Catherine de Bourgh, who allows no room for context when she issues directives?

The Miss Austen that Miss Manners knows is uncannily alert to the subtleties in any social situation. She gave ample evidence of being familiar with the tendency of eligible ladies to put themselves forward, as well as that of eligible gentlemen to examine the field.

Still, there is a significant difference between an Assembly at Bath and a flier that is advertising goods to the general public. Online solicitations, where no response need be made if there is no interest, are equivalent to the latter.

Although your tactful wording could serve as a model for rejecting an acquaintance, there is really no charming way, other than silence, to express, "I can't imagine that it would be worth my while to meet you."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I can't wrap my mind around those who find it acceptable to attempt to coerce their friends and family members into footing the bill for some unreasonable and ridiculous event that they have planned for themselves.

For instance, my brother was "invited" (if you can call it that) to his roommate/"friend's" wedding, which he would have had to pay $1,200 to attend -- in Mexico. My brother was to be one of the "best men" in the wedding, to top it off.

Oh, but the weirdest part is yet to come: This "friend" tracks my brother's finances via snooping and eavesdropping, and when my brother declined, citing a lack of funds, Adam said, "Well, what happened to the $( ) you got from selling your car?"

After picking my jaw up off the floor, I told my brother to not-so-politely tell Adam to stick the wedding invitation where the sun doesn't shine, move out as soon as humanly possible and distance himself from this person immediately.

GENTLE READER: How shocking of you. Miss Manners would have found a decent way of expressing that thought.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How would one interpret an invitation that states, "This is an adult-oriented event. Chaperoned children are welcome"?

GENTLE READER: "We really don't want children at the party, but if you bring them anyway, they'd better not be loud or break anything."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was invited to a birthday party for a 2-year-old. On the invitation was where the parents had the child registered for gifts.

I was under the impression that you register for a bridal shower or first baby shower. I thought this was quite rude to ask for gifts. I was not brought up this way. Am I wrong or were they?

GENTLE READER: All right, everyone, that's quite enough. Miss Manners is tired of being tactful about this. Stop it! (Not you, dear; she means the parents of this 2-year-old and anyone else who is contemplating the same.)

Registries are never proper, not for weddings, not for baby showers and not for birthdays. Not for christenings, bar mitzvahs, quinceaneras, sweet sixteens, graduations, engagements, coming out, announcing gender, changing gender, getting a job, losing a job, buying a house, divorcing, retiring or dying.

It is simply never polite to ask someone to buy you a present. Everyone is just going to have to go through life's milestones without the explicit intention of reaping material rewards.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received a wedding invitation from a girl I was close friends with in junior high. My issue is that I'm transgender, and they know this, but they addressed the invitation to my former name.

For this wedding, you are supposed to RSVP online. I don't want to be rude by not responding, but I simply cannot select my old name on their website, not only in terms of the emotional cost, but in principle as well because I have come too far to take that step backward.

We live in a small town, so we occasionally run into each other or family members, but it's been years since we've been close, so I don't have her contact information anymore to reach out in person and let her know I won't be able to attend.

Should I just forget about it, or try to contact her through a family member? I won't feel too guilty, since she was the one impolite enough to use a name that doesn't belong to me anymore, but still, I'd rather take the high road. I just don't know which way that is.

GENTLE READER: Do try to procure her contact information. Write her a short, kind note saying that you appreciate the invitation, but that you are unable to attend. And sign your current name.

While your friend may be aware of the change and should have respected it, it is possible that she also just did not know how to reconcile your new life with the friend she knew in junior high. Or that she had an old list. Anyone who changes a name, or even just tries to drop a childhood nickname, finds that it takes time.

So give her the benefit of the doubt and, as you said, take the high road. While it may be tedious to presume misguided, rather than purposeful, ignorance, it will likely do much more to educate this girl and her family than not. Miss Manners feels certain that if the girl cannot figure out from whom the note came, she will quickly take pains to do so -- and likely not make the mistake of using the wrong name again.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: More and more frequently, I see that when I am in line at the grocery store or anywhere waiting my turn to be checked out, other customers break in to get the clerk's attention for themselves by asking questions or even inquiring about the clerk's health.

They invade my space by crowding in to talk to the clerk while he/she is attending to me. Not only customers, but other employees want to talk to the clerk. Is there anything civil I can say that might cause these people to back off and wait their turn?

GENTLE READER: Before putting those people back in line, Miss Manners asks that you consider the context. There is no excuse for jumping ahead of 12 politely queued people. But some limited understanding can be extended to the shopper who finds that there are no salespeople elsewhere in the store, and signage or previously issued directions are incomplete or incorrect.

In other words, someone without reasonable recourse and with a question so simple that it can be answered by the clerk pointing -- without slowing down the line. In such cases, a pained smile and a glance at your watch is sufficient.

It is the clerk's duty to deal with the customer who jumps in line to give a lengthy, angry review of the fallibility of the electronic device he wishes to return. You may prompt with a polite, "Excuse me, but I've been waiting patiently in line for 20 minutes." A clerk who is incapable of handling this all-too-common occurrence should not be surprised to be reported to his or her superior.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband's sister is in her mid-30s and just moved back in with her parents. We were wondering if social protocol dictates whether we have to invite her to things that we'd normally only invite his parents to?

GENTLE READER: Without knowing what special family circumstances would make your sister-in-law unwelcome at events to which your in-laws are invited, she will observe that it is a kindness, though not strictly necessary, to invite any houseguest when inviting the homeowners.

This lessens with the length of the guest's stay, but increases with the closeness of the guest-homeowner relationship. The host who is unwilling or unable to invite someone else's houseguest is requested not to take umbrage if those invited are unable to attend because of duties to their houseguest.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it acceptable, when leaving a dinner party, to take some of the food if the host offers?

GENTLE READER: Yes, provided the offer is spontaneous and not requested. However, Miss Manners realizes that if you do so, you will be back with a question of when and in what condition to return the containers.

Cleaning whatever you put the food in for the ride home is your responsibility, whether that involves a dishwasher or a dry cleaner. Returning any containers will depend on who brought them to the party and whether they are durable enough to have withstood being cleaned.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)