DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I have several friends and family members who are gay and have just gotten legally married through a justice of the peace or are planning to do so.
We went to all of their wedding ceremonies in the past -- before these were legal unions -- and we gave them gifts then. Now we are confused as to what, if anything, should be gotten for them now that they are going to the courthouse to make it legal.
Is just a card acceptable? Or just a phone call or email? Do we get another gift? Or nothing at all?
GENTLE READER: Your good wishes, in whatever form of communication the announcement was issued (although Miss Manners, of course, always prefers a handwritten letter), are all that is required. A formal announcement of a legal marriage is perfectly correct and even proper -- as long as there is no solicitation for additional gifts or funding underneath it.