DEAR MISS MANNERS: My career has taken me to a point that I am occasionally interviewed on local radio and television.

As a child, I was taught that when someone says “Thank you,” I should respond with “You’re welcome.” However, in interviews I hear, the interviewer always ends with “Thank you,” and the interviewee always responds with “Thank you.”

I would like to be myself and say “You’re welcome,” unless you can offer a compelling insight into why “Thank you” is the proper response.

GENTLE READER: “You are welcome” is generally the proper response. “Thank you” back is not impolite, but also not necessary.

In this case, it stems, Miss Manners surmises, from a modest need to deflect attention from being appreciated. A compromise response in such circumstances is “Thank you for having me here.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Before my wedding last year, a colleague sent out an email encouraging staff contributions for a wedding gift to me at a local spa. Many contributed and some didn’t.

My wedding came and went, and the colleague who was responsible for the gift never delivered it. She kept the funds for herself.

Many asked if I enjoyed my experience, and I admitted I had never received the gift and not gone to the spa. Several even shared with me that they did, in fact, contribute.

I am obligated by management to work directly with this person and have ignored the issue for some time, not wanting to seem spiteful or bitter, but I have a sincere issue with this being kept a secret, as it is one of the reasons I have a hard time trusting this individual.

I have shared this with my direct office supervisor (who is not her direct supervisor), but nothing has been done. I am now working toward a promotion and want to do the right thing. Is there anything that can be done to courteously handle this situation? Was it appropriate for me to share that the gift was never delivered?

GENTLE READER: As always, it depends on the delivery (of the news, not of the present -- you seemed to have missed out on that).

If you share the information in an accusatory way, superiors will likely not want to get involved in a social transaction executed in a professional setting. Miss Manners would advise you to approach your colleague directly -- and in a panic, if you can muster it -- saying: “I am so horribly embarrassed. It has come to my attention that the staff contributed to a spa gift for my wedding, but I never received it. I am terribly remiss in writing thank-you notes, but I don’t know to whom I should send them. Do you know anything about this?”

Either your colleague will cop to it and know that you are on to her -- or she will claim innocence. If the latter, continue by saying: “Oh dear. I hate to think that the rest of the staff is making this up. Would you help me broach the subject with them since they claim you were the collector?”

Miss Manners hopes that this will call her bluff -- and let her know that you will notice any future botched deliveries.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My parents own season tickets for our local team. Several times a year, they are unable to attend and offer their tickets to my husband and me. Sometimes the timing is not good and we politely decline, but often we enthusiastically accept.

For the first time ever, we did not attend a game for which we had tickets. The game occurred during a very hectic week, and we decided at the last minute that we’d prefer to spend a quiet night resting at home.

Unfortunately, friends of my parents noticed that the seats were empty and reported this to my parents, who are now quite hurt.

Was it rude of us not to attend the game? We greatly appreciate my parents’ generosity and fully intended to go when we accepted the tickets. I don’t know that it would serve my parents any better if we turned down all of their offers of tickets because of the very small chance that something might prevent us from attending.

GENTLE READER: Did you get that rest? The tone of your conclusion makes Miss Manners think that another quiet night at home would be a good investment.

Turning down all future ticket offers will not serve them right -- or wrong.

Miss Manners does not suggest that it was rude of you to skip the game. But she does understand why your parents might have appreciated a last-minute effort to notify them and to discuss what might be done. Perhaps there was a friend who would have gladly forfeited a restful night at home.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friend, who I dated a couple of times, asked me to be his valentine (received card and gifts). I accepted.

Now, what should I do? Should I reciprocate with an invitation to do something?

GENTLE READER: Like what?

You two have established a romantic bond. Surely it is time for Miss Manners to leave you on your own to develop it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I love my dad to death. However, whenever my wife and I come to visit and we’re eating a meal, he makes a big point of saying to my mom, “Sure is good!”

This is generally only seconds into the meal. The implication is that we should have said something first.

I have at times tried to solve this by quickly taking the first bite and then beating him to the punch with the first compliment. Conversely, at other times I’ve not said anything, to let him know he can’t pressure me. Argggh!

GENTLE READER: If you have to gulp your food to get in a compliment before your father, then he is not trying to change your behavior -- at least not successfully.

He is, however, being quite successful at irritating you, and this is in your control. In his defense, Miss Manners points out that he may think he is defending your mother, and simply likes her cooking. If she knows how much you appreciate her efforts -- which you can show in other ways, such as thanking her at the end of the evening -- then you may enjoy your meal without implications.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m writing to ask the proper way for me to ask my boyfriend to marry me.

Since I don’t think he would want an engagement ring (he doesn’t wear any kind of jewelry or accessories), I don’t want to present one, but it does seem like the situation warrants some gesture of that nature. (Personally, I do want an engagement ring and do not mind paying for it myself, but I’m sure Miss Manners will agree it would be tacky to make that part of the proposal.)

Does Miss Manners have any suggestions about the appropriate way to handle a nontraditional situation like this? Asking him to ask me to marry him seems a bit ridiculous.

If it makes any difference, there is no doubt in my mind the answer will be yes.

GENTLE READER: Then allow Miss Manners to wish you and the fortunate gentleman great happiness.

Now let’s talk about accompanying jewelry:

Engagement rings have gotten out of hand, so to speak. They can, of course, be charming, but they are not essential to an agreement to marry.

As you surmise, a proposal attached to the requirement that you get a ring would not be a good idea. Yet that is what people have come to believe must be a part of the male proposal of marriage.

The custom seems to have shifted from the already-engaged couple choosing a ring together to a ring’s being part of the offer. Thus, the proposer has to select it alone, and the proposee is distracted by examining jewelry while pondering (or not) that life-changing question.

Miss Manners has heard from more than one lady who was happy to spend her life with a particular gentleman, but not enthusiastic about spending it wearing that particular ring. And presumably there are also ladies who wished to accept the ring but not the gentleman proffering it.

So she would suggest that you concentrate on expressing your love and your hopes for your joint lives ahead. Later, you may hint that you would like a ring, or merely announce that you are thinking of buying one so that people will see tangible evidence that you are engaged -- or stop asking why you don’t have one.

You could also consider dispensing with an engagement ring and perhaps acquiring some sparkle in the wedding ring that you and your fiance select.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Who should host a baby shower?

GENTLE READER: No one who stands to benefit from the shower of presents associated with such an occasion.

So first, that means the baby. But also his or her prospective parents, grandparents and other close relatives.

Once, Miss Manners would have thought it unnecessary to specify that one should not say, in effect, “I have a great idea for a party -- everybody will get together and give me (or my daughter/granddaughter/sister) presents.”

Nowadays, she realizes sadly, it is. Well-wishing friends are the proper hosts for a baby shower.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)