DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was excluded from an event put together by someone I consider a very good friend. I only found out about the event by all the photos on Facebook. I am obviously very hurt by this.

What would your advice be on handling my feelings? Should I ask the hostess why she decided to exclude me?

GENTLE READER: Why? Do you want to hear the answer?

However, please allow Miss Manners to contest the premise of your question. You were not, in fact, excluded from this event; you were simply not invited. People are not required to invite all of their friends on every occasion.

Social media postings have unfortunately blasted the rule that one does not mention such events, either before or after they take place, to those who were not invited. Miss Manners wishes she could persuade hosts and guests to refrain from doing so, but she is not optimistic.

Nevertheless, you will spare yourself a lot of anguish if you simply accept that you will not always be invited to everything.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: During my student days, I was always reading -- at home, in restaurants, on the subway. Even on the sidewalk.

This habit ended abruptly one day when I walked into a lamppost and apologized to it before I realized what I had run into.

GENTLE READER: Allow Miss Manners to assure you that technically, banging into a lamppost is not an etiquette violation, as you did not offend another person. Indeed, you serve as a lesson to those who multi-task, for which Miss Manners thanks you. Perhaps that will make up for the presumed lack of response on the part of your victim.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My ex-husband, his girlfriend and I recently hosted an engagement party for our daughter and her fiancee at his home. The party was lovely, and the couple thanked everyone repeatedly during and after the evening.

My daughter tells me that her father has hinted that she was rude for not bringing a hostess gift. He has recently moved into a beautiful home that is stuffed to the rafters. They have everything they could possibly want or need, and yes, I know that's not the point of a hostess gift.

I feel that when one throws an engagement party for one's children, no hostess gift is required. Will she be expected to give us a gift after her wedding reception, too?

Please help me defuse this situation, or enlighten me so that I may apologize for my own poor manners. (I didn't bring a gift either.)

GENTLE READER: Is it your ex-husband's intention to give your daughter lessons in greed and extortion in connection with her nuptials?

Miss Manners does not seem to be able to get it across to people that asking for presents is always rude, greedy and nasty. It doesn't matter what the occasion is, or how customary it is for presents to be given.

Certainly, your daughter owes her father and the hostess thanks for throwing the party. She does not owe him payment, either in money or in goods. And while an additional appreciative gesture -- such as flowers sent before the event -- is charming, it is hardly necessary when the host is a member of the family being honored.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was in one of three or four communal stalls in the ladies' room of a restaurant, just finishing up, when another person walked into the stall next to me, closed the door, and then began to both sob and urinate audibly.

What is the appropriate response in such a situation?

I am one who would become more upset in the face of sympathy from a stranger, so I kept silent and waited for the aggrieved party to finish both her micturition and her audible sorrow. But perhaps this was inappropriate.

GENTLE READER: Forgive Miss Manners -- she knows that the answer you are seeking is in regards to the crying, but she can't get past what you might think the response to someone audibly urinating might be. ("Could you tone it down? Some of us are trying to concentrate.")

In any case, you should ignore both. If the stranger's ... ahem ... noise escalates, you can certainly ask if she needs assistance, and if you feel unable to provide it, send for an employee -- or doctor -- instead.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I don't wish to have biological children, and we are not currently interested in discussing adoption.

A few months ago, he started a job that pays much more than his previous one. We are financially comfortable (not wealthy) enough that he suggested my quitting my previous job, which I hated and was underpaid for. I now have time to volunteer at an animal shelter, do shopping and errands for an elderly relative, take two classes at a community college, as well as care for our home.

Lately, when I see people we know, they often want me to explain what I "do all day" since we have no children and I am not working outside the home. This is usually followed by questions about how much time and effort each activity involves, as if I need to prove that I am not lying on a couch and watching television.

A couple of people have also asked me to baby-sit after I previously made plans with relatives or friends, assuming that I cannot possibly be busy with anything important. They expect me to be able to cancel my plans, since whatever I am doing is not a job and I am not a mother.

What is the best way to tell people that I do not think my schedule is their business?

GENTLE READER: While you have legitimate gripes about the people who are asking what you do all day, Miss Manners detects in your tone a pre-emptive fatigue. You do not need to volunteer any unnecessary information, nor justify any appointments you made. If friends are actually asking you to cancel plans, then you may say, "I'm sorry, but my schedule is confirmed." However, be careful that you do not project your frustrations on those innocently asking about your availability.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was out for drinks with a friend who works in the same industry as I do. I was telling her about my transition out of my last job and how difficult is was because my boss didn't want me to leave. I was sharing that my former boss made me an outrageous offer to stay and that I politely declined, saying that it was time for me to move on.

My friend looked puzzled and shocked. After a moment or two, she leaned in and said that she was told by my former boss that I had been let go for "strategic reasons."

I have a wonderful new job that I love, and I'm generally liked and respected by my colleagues and peers, so I'm not terribly worried that this rumor will be believed, but I am pretty angry that she would go around spreading it. My husband thinks I should say something to her because she is trying to ruin my reputation. What should I do?

GENTLE READER: Are you quite sure this remark wasn't made out of exasperation at your saying how valued you are?

In any case, that is the way Miss Manners recommends your telling the story to your former co-workers, with whom you seem to keep in touch. A story ridiculing oneself gets around more than a complaint.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A co-worker I am also close friends with is a wonderful employee and an amazing mother, but she quite often -- with no warning -- shows up to work with one or more of her kids. This is usually because they are out of school with colds or fevers, or sometimes just because.

We work with a lot of valuable electrical equipment and have a consistent flow of clients and "fans" who come in. She keeps her kids here in a room with her that is communal to the other employees, who have their own families they're trying not to get sick. Her kids also show up in pictures later wearing/using very expensive pieces of equipment from their time here.

They are very well-behaved children and have never caused a problem, although they do sidetrack her from other tasks and chat a lot with other workers while they're at the office. I respect my co-worker so much and don't want to come across like I'm judging or instructing her as a parent, but some things are just unnecessary, inconvenient and inappropriate for a professional setting.

GENTLE READER: You are understandably confused. Your co-worker is your friend. Your potential clients are fans. And you are unsure whether you are giving parental or professional advice.

But your co-worker/friend is equally confused. She does not know if she is at work or at home. Sick people do not belong in an office, nor should professional equipment be used as toys.

Miss Manners advises you to refer the matter to the person you have forgotten to mention but who has the most interest in a resolution: the boss. The idea is not to tattle or complain, but to express sympathy and suggest leniency in allowing parents to meet emergencies.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)