DEAR MISS MANNERS: My parents are taking my husband and me on an island vacation with them this summer. We haven't always had the best relationship, although things have been going well for some time now.

Could you provide some tips on how to vacation with parents and/or in-laws, what to remember and what to avoid, that might help me (and others) to contribute to the creation of a memorable experience for all?

GENTLE READER: It is all too easy to have a memorable experience when vacationing with relatives with whom you have not always gotten along. Miss Manners would have thought your goal was the opposite.

The answer to your question is: relentless good manners. That would bar any complaints, whether about the conditions of the trip or the history of the relationship, in favor of showing appreciation of this opportunity. Oh, and don't talk politics.

That may be counterintuitive in an age that considers rudeness more relaxing and therefore more appropriate to a vacation. It might also help to preserve some time for separate activities, which will be easier to do if your island destination is closer in size to Greenland than to Grenada.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am the president of a homeowners' association at times I write memos that require answers, but instead of answering the questions, two of our members' sister-in-laws instead let me know that I miss spelled a word.

Repeatedly I have apologized for my lack of spelling skills, but still they have to go on about how I cannot spell and I should use a dictionary because roof is not spelled roff, a simple error, they understood the content.

Is it rude to tell someone they made a mistake rather then just answer the question?

GENTLE READER: It is. Otherwise, Miss Manners would have pointed out that "misspelled" is one word, not two, it's "sisters-in-law," and that run-on sentences are exhausting.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is there a polite way to get away from boring people?

GENTLE READER: There are many, but application -- and effectiveness -- depends on context.

The person at a cocktail party buffet can be escaped with a simple, "Excuse me." The person on your left at a dinner party can -- after a decent interval -- be dismissed with the excuse of attending to the person on your right. (If the right-hand person is equally dull, you may have to wait for dessert.)

For spouses and other relatives, Miss Manners cautions that lasting solutions lie outside the boundaries of etiquette.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How should I respond when a supervisor at work apologizes for being cranky?

It is nice that they apologized because they were cranky. However, I somehow feel that acknowledging that they were cranky could be an insult to them, and so simply saying "thank you" might not work toward my career goals.

GENTLE READER: Illogical as such behavior would be on the part of your supervisor, Miss Manners recognizes that you may be right. The trick is to downplay the impact of the behavior without denying its existence: "That's kind of you to apologize, but please, don't worry about it."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: During our adventure of driving up Pikes Peak in Colorado, my girlfriend and I stopped to admire the view, and she wandered up the road to take some pictures.

I joined her, and as we returned to our vehicle, there was a steep 1/4-mile drop on one side. The other side was the road, where there wasn't a great deal of traffic. I considered the drop-off to be the greater hazard, so I walked on that side.

Was that the correct, gallant decision?

GENTLE READER: Indeed. Just as a gallant gentleman precedes a lady down a staircase, so that if she trips she will have something soft on which to land, a gentleman should walk on the side of the cliff.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am engaged but have been married before. My finance has been married twice.

How do we let people know we would appreciate gift cards instead of gifts at our reception? We have three of everything.

GENTLE READER: If you have three of everything, why aren't you thinking of sharing with those who don't have any, instead of plotting to make others help you get even more?

And by the way, the word is "fiance," not "finance." Or maybe in this case, it is.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it OK to host an informal dinner while in bare feet? I walk around my home in bare feet all the time, but I wonder if it is proper when guests come over. I do not know if it is perceived as unsanitary, since I am finishing preparing a meal in my kitchen.

I have wondered if the boundaries of what is proper have changed about showing feet. We now have spas that do a booming business keeping our feet in beautiful condition, as well as body-care products for those who like to do it themselves at home.

It is possible to have beautiful feet and toenails, which are equally attractive. In our ever-changing society, how is current etiquette decided? It seems to this reader that the "no feet showing" rule belongs in the 19th century when all of a woman's body had to be covered in public.

But if it is still proper that one should never wear sandals except on the beach, it will save me much money in pedicures and fine sandals. However, on 100-degree days I may moan a bit.

GENTLE READER: Actually, you would have loved the 19th century, when the glimpse of a lady's trim ankle was considered erotically exciting. Somehow, Miss Manners doesn't think that toenails, however stunning, have quite the same effect today. Still, you could show them off in open-toed (now called peep-toe) shoes or sandals with soles.

The propriety of total barefootedness depends on what you mean by an informal dinner. Would it be a picnic on the patio, although this is not the best idea if it is really 100 degrees out? Would the guests know that they need not change from whatever they lounge around in at home?

If it is anything slightly more structured, Miss Manners would recommend starting with shoes, and then kicking them off, as ladies in tight shoes are wont to do under the table even at the most formal dinners.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a very good friend who invited me and my husband over for dinner and told us to get a baby sitter for our daughter.

I probably would get a baby sitter since my 6-year-old daughter would be bored with the adult conversation. However, I was a bit offended by the suggestion. Am I overreacting?

GENTLE READER? No, because had your friends simply issued the invitation to only you and your husband, you would have understood their intentions without the added insult of instructing you on how to make it happen. Right?

Had everyone stuck with that, all would have been well. Your hosts would have accomplished their goal of having an adults-only evening -- and you would have been spared any offense.

However, Miss Manners cannot help but notice that your reason for potentially procuring a baby sitter was not that your daughter's company was not requested, but that she might have been bored. This implies that you might have considered bringing her, asked or not.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the protocol for sharing mobile phone numbers? When someone gives me their mobile number, I don't assume it's OK to give it out (unless that person has so specified). But people just casually ask for other people's numbers like it's no big deal.

I generally reply something like, "I don't have permission to give it out, but if you'll give me yours, I'll ask him to call you," and often I'm accused of being obstructionist or dramatic. Am I?

GENTLE READER: Not in this case, at least. Miss Manners assures you that yours is a perfectly polite way to handle it. If these people feel that you are being overly dramatic, you might tell them, "I'm sure that you wouldn't want me to give out your number to relentless salespeople or overzealous suitors."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it proper etiquette for parents to be invited to their kids' bachelor/bachelorette party?

GENTLE READER: If such a party were so very proper that parents would not be out of place, Miss Manners suggests congratulating the children on their good taste before declining and getting a good night's rest before the more general wedding festivities.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My father received two letters from people he does not know, written on yellow notebook paper. They were variants on "Can I buy your house? Please contact (phone number)."

Our house is not on the market and we have no plans to sell. How should we respond, especially because these letters seem importunate and rude? One does not walk up to someone and say, "I love your coat. Can I buy it from you?" Nor does one write letters to strangers that say, "Can I make love to you? Please call (phone number)."

GENTLE READER: Perhaps there is such a thing as a "Not for Sale" sign?

While Miss Manners agrees that these letters are annoying, your father need only ignore them. However, he might want to do a little background check and make sure that his house is not being listed without his consent.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)