DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have recently lost my only child. I do not like it when people wish me a happy Father's Day. I have mentioned this to my immediate family, and they think it's weird but are stopping.

Am I out of line? I feel as though they are a bit thoughtless in wishing me a happy Father's Day, because it could never be a happy day for me.

I would never wish this to someone who has lost a child, especially an only child. It just seems tasteless and almost feels like it's rubbing it in my face, although I know they are not. I now just avoid everyone, but I still get text messages from well-meaning friends and family. I don't feel comfortable responding to them about how this bothers me.

GENTLE READER: What is wrong with these people?

These are not even mindless strangers who toss holiday greetings around promiscuously, but your own relatives and friends who know of your loss. And they are telling you to be happy about it.

Miss Manners is afraid that you will have to remind them. A quiet "I suppose you have forgotten what happened to my child" should do it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am confounded on how to reply to the numerous requests/demands from family and friends to buy whatever merchandise they are selling -- such a variety of jewelry, miracle skin treatments, cleaning products, etc. This doesn't even begin to cover all the times they sell things for their children.

It seems the only time they want to talk to me is when they want me to buy something or host an event at my home. I would never dream of inviting people into my home to sell them something.

Be assured that all these people are financially comfortable, and mainly do this as a way to make money while they stay at home and raise their children -- a decision I fully support, if that is what they want to do.

However, I have bought all these people shower gifts, wedding gifts and baby gifts. I was happy to celebrate the happy occasions in their life. I married early and have no children, so it is not as if my contributing would be "payback" for gifts given to me.

I would like to know the best way to respond to these incessant requests. Ignoring them seems rude, but I don't see any other way of dealing with it.

GENTLE READER: How do you normally respond to the sales pitches with which we are all constantly bombarded?

By ignoring those that do not interest you, and responding to those that are made face-to-face with, "I'm sorry, but I'm not interested."

This is not rude: It saves both your time and theirs, and your money. So do that when your friends and relatives turn commercial.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Would you please advise if there are any correct uses for a round-bowled cream soup spoon other than for cream soups?

GENTLE READER: Breakfast cereal. You can get away with a lot at breakfast.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a 7-year-old daughter who is very interested in learning how to become a lady. We practice formal dining situations, and she has been asking some questions that I do not know how to answer, as I was raised a bumpkin myself:

If someone wants more dessert, may they ask for seconds?

What do you call a lady-child or a child-gentleman?

If Mommy is the hostess, can the child help her bring things to the table, or does she have to sit like a statue?

And her cutest question: If a child makes everyone at the dinner table laugh and spit out their food, what are we supposed to do next?

GENTLE READER? Presuming that you refrain from spitting out your food, you seem to have outgrown bumpkinhood. Miss Manners doubts that you would otherwise have reared a daughter with an awareness of -- and even interest in -- etiquette. She offers her congratulations on that.

It might be even more interesting (and instructive) for your daughter to dramatize the situations that piqued her curiosity.

What if she were the hostess, and her guests asked for seconds, but there wasn't any more, or at least not enough to go around? Yet if she did have more dessert to offer, she would be likely to produce it when guests merely said how delicious it was. So no, don't ask outright, because you might embarrass the hostess by implying that she didn't make enough.

Miss Manners is afraid to ask what a lady-child or a child-gentleman is exactly. But Miss Manners imagines someone of, say, 7 would be flattered to be addressed as "Miss Emily" or "Miss Jones" (or "Master," for a boy).

Third, if she were a guest, what would she think of a young person who sat like a statue, letting her mother do all the work? Surely she should be acting as a deputy hostess. Not only should the child of the hostess offer to help, it is her duty.

And finally, Miss Manners has been advised that a main rule of comedy is to know your audience. If you know that they have just taken a big bite of food, maybe it is not the moment to tell them your best joke. But if food is expelled with the laugh, the deputy hostess would good-naturedly offer to help clean up, skipping over the possibility of embarrassment.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Are open-face cucumber sandwiches served at high tea with a fork or as finger food?

GENTLE READER: It is not easy to cut a cucumber with a fork. Fortunately, it is not necessary to try, as tea sandwiches are finger food.

However, Miss Manners must correct your misuse of the term "high tea," which is a light, informal supper, with more fortifying food than cucumber sandwiches. Those are served at what is simply called afternoon tea, or even just "tea."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the proper and also gracious way to introduce the mother of a future baby whose parents are not married nor plan to remain close?

The future father is our relative, and neither family nor friends know the young lady. Are terms like "sister-in-law, cousin, granddaughter," etc., misleading and out of the question?

GENTLE READER: If the mother is not planning to stick around, Miss Manners would not have thought that how to introduce her would be a problem. Certainly if the relatives plan to gather at the hospital, her connection to the goings-on should be self-evident.

But assuming that introductions will be necessary in the future, you have public (as opposed to romantic, or perhaps unromantic) facts to use. Introducing her by her name, adding, by way of any needed identification, "Noah's mother" or "Our little cousin's mother," will not draw attention to an omission that was, in any case, not yours.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I grew up with an alcoholic father and have a very clear picture of the downsides of alcohol. I drink only occasionally, and I tend to come up with excuses at social events where I don't drink: I'm the designated driver, I have an early start in the morning, I'm watching my calories, etc.

Is there a polite way to tell well-meaning but intrusive friends that comments about my drinking behaviors are not welcome?

GENTLE READER: The freedom with which casual acquaintances -- and even strangers -- press the most personal questions is a constant source of astonishment to Miss Manners.

Possibly these people are encouraged by the fact that you are not in possession of a drink to throw in their faces. So you could arm yourself early in the event with an ambiguous glass of orange juice or sparkling water with a slice of lime.

You do not actually need an excuse; you could keep repeating, "Thank you, I don't care for a drink" until the nosy become bored with probing. Or you could keep repeating the answers you have been giving. Remarkably, people who do not respect personal privacy are unlikely to question a desire to lose weight, the needs of the job or driver safety.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My signature appetizer dish for years has been my spinach dip. I am going to a game-watching party, and my "friend" who knows this is my dish says that she is bringing it.

I feel she should have asked if I was bringing it, as she knows I always do. I told her I'm bringing mine regardless, and there will be plenty of spinach dip for all!

GENTLE READER: Will the teams be negotiating their own disagreements, or will there be a referee?

Miss Manners thought so. In the absence of what used to be called a host -- who either provides the food himself or awards jurisdiction for different dishes at a potluck -- you will have to hope that everyone likes spinach. (And if you want to offer the other fans an additional contest to watch and possibly cheer, you could label your offering "Sofia's original spinach dip.")

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)