DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I were visiting friends last Friday night. Shortly after we arrived, I began feeling lightheaded, so I sat down on a stool at their kitchen island.
The next thing I knew, I was face down on their hardwood floor in a puddle of my own blood and vomit. 911 was called and I went to the hospital in the ambulance. I ended up with a 2-inch gash above my left eye, which required nine stitches.
The reason why I passed out and was nauseated was that my blood pressure fell dramatically, for which I am still trying to determine the reason.
What do you do for friends whose kitchen you turned into a biohazard area and who also cleaned up your mess? A card for such an occasion does not exist.
GENTLE READER: What would it say? "Friends like you make vomiting easy"?
Write a thank you note to your hosts for the visit, apologize for the mess and thank them for the clean-up. It would be gracious to offer to pay for any damage -- or you could just reciprocate by inviting them to pass out in your kitchen any time.
Ultimately, Miss Manners feels certain that any friends worth having will be more concerned about the state of your health than that of their floors.