DEAR MISS MANNERS: My sister eloped and quickly became pregnant. They had intended to announce the marriage to family with a spring visit and small celebration, but instead shared all the news after her first trimester of pregnancy.

She is very non-traditional and has never cared to have a wedding or be the center of attention. She waited for a long time before sharing her pregnancy with many people and has been reserved. Similarly, she does not want me to host a shower for her.

Regardless, many friends and family will want to celebrate her new happiness, and I do not doubt there will be many people who would like to send a gift to the baby due in May. The generosity of loved ones is clearly a help to first-time parents, who have many supplies to purchase.

What is a polite and not tacky way to share baby registry information when she feels certain she does not want a traditional shower? Should she do it after the birth with a baby announcement? Or could she share it now with an announcement of both the new marriage and expected arrival?

I realize some people are starting to share this type of information in "virtual" baby showers on social media, but that seems tacky to me. What is your opinion?

GENTLE READER: That you fail to understand what is traditional and what is tacky.

"Traditional" is leading a quietly dignified life, which is what your sister is trying to do. "Tacky" is prodding others, by whatever means, to do your shopping, which is what you are prodding her to do.

Your sister could have announced her marriage in the truly traditional way, and she can announce her child's birth when the time comes. But Miss Manners hopes that she will have enough confidence in her own good taste to avoid attaching to this the notion that others can be "clearly a help" by purchasing supplies.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I would like to throw a very distinctive theme party. I'd like to include everyone I know, but of course that isn't possible.

I've noticed on social media (Instagram, Facebook) that everyone insists on posting photos of every party they went to, as if to say, "See? I was there too!" I feel this is hurtful to those who could not be invited at that time. I also know some who will be attending would prefer not to have photos of themselves posted to social media without permission.

I would like to either include an insert in the invitation or put up a small sign at the party asking that no one does these things. How can I word it without sounding judgmental or overly restrictive?

GENTLE READER: Have you already chosen your distinctive theme? Miss Manners suggests a "pre-electronic" theme, or perhaps "Upstairs party at the White House -- guards will confiscate telephones and cameras upon arrival."

Barring photographs should be a relief to your feelings as a hostess and those of your guests who do not want to be snapped. For your guests who feel otherwise, it should at least be a novelty.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: It seems that the chefs of the nicer restaurants these days are attempting to outdo themselves (and us) when it comes to the presentation of our food.

While beautiful to admire, it is often impossible to eat. Salads in particular pose a great challenge. I was served a salad wherein entire leaves of bibb lettuce were arranged on a plate to form a bowl of sorts. In the center, three or four cherry tomatoes were diced, along with perhaps one slice of bacon, and then drizzled with blue cheese dressing.

Should I just eat the tomatoes? Cut the lettuce leaves individually in order to eat them also? Take my knife and cut everything into bite-size pieces all at once after an appropriate moment of admiration?

Other foods artfully arranged -- both entrees and side vegetables -- provide similar conundrums. I don't go to restaurants to merely gaze at the food; I would like to eat it and to do so properly.

GENTLE READER: No one -- particularly not a chef -- could fault you for eating the food that is served to you. A moment of admiration is polite, but then Miss Manners permits you to get to work putting the edible artwork into your mouth where it rightfully belongs.

If no salad knife has been provided -- and alas, one never is -- you must use the tools at hand. Cut each piece of food as necessary before eating it and consume whatever appeals to you. Then, if you like, you may artfully arrange your utensils on the plate when you are done.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been in a good relationship with a man for nine years. He has been divorced for 12 years and has three adult children. I get along with his kids for the most part.

His youngest daughter is having a baby soon. I have not been invited to her baby shower for whatever reason, and that's OK with me. I was just wondering what the etiquette is on inviting the father's girlfriend to the daughter's baby shower?

GENTLE READER: Etiquette demands that guests at a social occasion act civilly toward one another. If your gentleman friend's daughter (or more likely ex-wife) felt that this might be unattainable with your presence, then it was probably best not to invite you.

All things being equal, it is gracious -- but not mandatory -- to include the father's longtime partner at a family gathering. However, all things might not be equal in your particular situation, and Miss Manners suspects that someone might well have been doing you a favor with the oversight.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it acceptable always to leave the tablecloth on the dining table? My sister says it is not correct and should be taken off right after we are finished eating.

GENTLE READER: Perhaps your sister is thinking of the old custom of removing the tablecloth before dessert. That was a tricky maneuver while everyone was sitting there hoping for sweets, which may account for its being abandoned.

Or perhaps she noticed some food stains that you missed.

If you were leaving your table set for a phantom meal, to display your china and silver, Miss Manners would object. But she has no trouble defining a clean cloth as a runner that overstepped its bounds.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What am I supposed to do when a boss scolds you and yells at you in front of co-workers?

GENTLE READER: If your boss scolds Miss Manners, you should defend her. If he yells at her Gentle Reader, that reader should object in private or, if this is unlikely to alter his behavior, to the human resources department.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: While shopping in a small market, I saw a little girl (approximately 4 years old) take a bread roll out of a bin and put it in her mouth. Her mother took the roll away from her child and put it back in the bin.

I said to the woman: "What's wrong with you? Someone will come along and buy the roll that your child had in her mouth. That's disgusting."

The woman looked at me as though I was from outer space, then turned and walked away.

How could I have better handled this situation? I mentioned this to the cashier as I was leaving, and she said it happens all the time. Please Miss Manners, tell me what you would have done.

GENTLE READER: Started shopping somewhere else, with a more fastidious clientele -- although Miss Manners suspects that this behavior is not unique to the market in question.

A direct assault on the mother is both impolite and, as you discovered, ineffective. You could have taken the used roll and handed it to a nearby store employee. The trick is to do this overtly enough that the mother sees it, without being so obvious that she feels called upon to defend herself -- perhaps with a counter-charge of rudeness, or, worse, with the plea that her poor child was starving.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: After my first child was born, I had a few weeks of high blood pressure that put me on medication and had me regularly checking my blood pressure. My mother-in-law required regular updates about my numbers, my doctor's appointments and which medications I was put on, which she kept track of in a notebook.

Now, with child No. 2 on the way, I'm concerned about this happening again. A few years older, I'm adamant this time about not sharing this type of information with her, but I do not want to be rude.

How can I let her know, if she asks, that I will not be sharing health information with her this time around? I've told my husband that this cannot happen again, but am worried that he'll have trouble passing on that message.

GENTLE READER: Well, it would be awkward for him to say, "Ma, stop being concerned about Zoe's health. It's none of your business." No matter how annoying the requests for details, it would be churlish to chastise her for worrying about you.

The script Miss Manners suggests for your husband instead is: "We really appreciate your concern. Basically she seems to be doing all right, but dwelling on any tiny ups or downs is making us both anxious. I'll be sure to tell you if there is anything significant, one way or the other."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)