DEAR MISS MANNERS: A college friend asked me to be a part of her wedding -- not technically in the wedding party, but in a challenging category of "more than guest and less than bridesmaid" that I like to refer to as "JV string bridesmaid."

At the time I was asked, I had no commitments, but now there may be a conflict. Although my main career is that of a teacher, I am also an actor, and my career as an actor is very important to me. Many summer shows that I would like to audition for have performance conflicts with the wedding.

I first met the bride while we were both theater majors, so she does understand the importance of my career. In addition to the wedding, the other obligations (the bridal showers, plural, and the bachelorette party) are starting to pile up. I don't live in the same town as the bride, so travel expenses and gift expenses will be costly.

I feel as though my obligations to this wedding are requiring me to put my life on hold. I do love my friend and want to support her happiness, but we have drifted apart over the years. I usually see her only once or twice a year. Help! I'm feeling so overwhelmed and conflicted.

GENTLE READER: Please save the drama for the theater, my dear, and wait until you have an actual conflict before working yourself into a tizzy.

Telling the bride that her wedding is getting in the way of your potential career is not going to be looked upon kindly, no matter how sympathetic she is to a life in the theater.

Audition for the shows. If you do get cast in one that coincides with the wedding or a related event, tell your friend that you never in a million years thought that this would happen -- you were just trying out for practice -- but you got the part of a lifetime and you don't know what to do. Here is the place to put histrionics to good use.

If your friend is as sympathetic as you say, she might understand -- but only if you act truly devastated. Miss Manners suggests that you start rehearsing.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: On the invitation for a birthday party for a 2-year-old, the parents had the child registered for gifts.

I was under the impression that you register for a bridal shower or first baby shower. I thought it was quite rude to ask for gifts for a child's birthday. I was not brought up this way. Am I wrong or were they?

GENTLE READER: All right, everyone, that is quite enough. Has Miss Manners been too subtle about her position on Gimme Lists?

Stop it!

Registries are never proper. Not for weddings, not for baby showers and not for birthdays; not for christenings, bar mitzvahs, quinceaneras, sweet sixteens, graduations, engagements or debutante balls; not for announcing gender, changing gender, getting a job, losing a job, buying a house, divorcing, retiring or dying.

It is simply never polite to ask someone to buy you a present. Everyone is just going to have to go through life's milestones without thinking of them as free shopping sprees.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: On more than one occasion, I have heard a woman say, "We're pregnant!" when referring to the fact that the couple is expecting a baby. My in-laws will even say, "Did you hear that John and Jane are pregnant?"

I think that phrasing it in such a way is ridiculous, and I often find myself responding in a manner such as, "Wow, he's pregnant, too?"

How should I respond to statements such as this, when it is so obvious that the woman is the only one who is pregnant?

GENTLE READER: While it is plainly unfair that mothers should have to do all of the childbearing, Miss Manners, like you, has noticed that such is the reality.

Presumably the plural is used to make the point that this unevenness does not extend to child-rearing, as it might if the child were merely some little project of the mother's. But fatuous is not rude, and your response should be merely to offer congratulations.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our small township of about 5,000 people has a township cemetery. This year, for the first time, township officials are planning a "scavenger hunt" in the cemetery for both adults and kids during a festival-type event the town is having.

In my mind, a cemetery is a place for respect and quiet for the dead and grieving, not for fun and games, where kids are running around on top of the graves. We have a younger generation of township officials overseeing this; the older ones never did such things. Am I wrong and rude to object?

GENTLE READER: This is one more bit of evidence that, as Miss Manners has always suspected, everyone nowadays wants to be in show business.

It seems far more likely that the planners were thinking, "What a wonderful set the cemetery would make for our festival," rather than, "Let's all have a romp on Grandma's grave."

You might explain to the would-be producers that while you see the charm of their proposal, they need to avoid the bad feeling that would result were a living relative of one of the deceased to complain that the scavenger hunt would be a desecration. Suggest they send a letter to all possible survivors, explaining why the contemplated festivities would not constitute disrespect. Your officials may find it easier to change the venue.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I've noticed a trend where some of my friends tip as much as 50 percent (on tax, too). Even new tipping "apps" have calculation options up to 50 percent.

I always thought if the service was outstanding that 20 percent (not on tax) was more than generous. Am I behind the times, or just a cheapskate?

GENTLE READER: Your friends are very generous to people who are woefully underpaid. And as employers knowingly underpay them, expecting the customers to make up the difference, everyone in the industry has an interest in raising the rates.

Miss Manners would have thought that using percentages to calculate tips would ensure increases with the cost of living. However, as you know, the usual rate has crept up to 20 percent, with something more or less depending on the type of establishment.

She has no wish to discourage additional largesse. But that is dictated by the heart and the wallet, not by etiquette.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Three or four afternoons a week, I drop into a popular local coffee shop for an hour to have a cup of their great coffee, to relax and to read my business journals. I almost always have a good experience.

But a couple of times a month, someone sits down near me to chat with a friend. The conversation is loud and boastful, loud enough for most of the customers in the shop to hear plainly. Usually it's about how important their job is -- including details of some project they are working on, what overseas vacation they just took, what influential people they know, and so forth. It lasts not a minute or two, but drags on and on.

It's impossible for me to focus on my reading -- no way I can filter him or her out. So I often just pack up and leave, moaning to myself that my sojourn has been ruined by this self-absorbed show-off.

Is there anything else I can do other than just leave? I'm afraid that there is not, though perhaps you know of a way I can address this situation or this person and rescue my (and others') relaxation or conversation time.

GENTLE READER: Well, that is the annoying thing about public accommodations: They accommodate the public. But even a private club would have a hard time enforcing a No Bragging rule.

Rebuking other customers for chatting in a cafe is a ridiculous notion, and considering your interest in the content of their talk, Miss Manners does not trust you to ask them politely to speak more softly.

But you asked for alternative ways of handling this:

-- As you say that "most," not all, of the customers could hear such a conversation, you could move to an area it does not reach.

-- You could learn to make good coffee at home, where you can presumably set the noise level.

-- You could ask the management of the coffee shop if they would consider establishing a quiet zone.

-- You could wear earplugs, or headphones disguised as earplugs.

-- You could try to find a library that serves good coffee.

Whichever you manage, Miss Manners hopes that you will learn the limits of correcting other people's forms of relaxation.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the proper protocol when speaking with someone who has a stutter? Is it considered helpful or rude to assist him in completing a sentence or question?

GENTLE READER: How can you assist someone in completing his or her statement unless you already know what that person was intending to say? And if you already know what is going to be said, why bother holding a conversation?

So yes, it is considered rude to finish other people's sentences. And Miss Manners wants it to be clear that this applies not only to stutterers, but to spouses as well.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)