DEAR MISS MANNERS: While staying at my boyfriend's family's cabin for a long holiday weekend, we encountered a bit of a generation gap in diet styles. His parents, in their efforts to "treat" us, prepared three meat-and-potatoes-type meals each day, like bacon, pancakes and potatoes for breakfast, and dessert at each meal.

In addition, they asked us again and again to "finish up the last serving," in many cases stuffing us to the point of indigestion. We arrived with some of our own groceries, primarily vegetables, yogurt and fruit, in an attempt to pre-empt some of this, to no avail.

How can we convey our healthier eating preferences without hurting their feelings? My boyfriend and I are both fit and active. His parents, on the other hand, have heart conditions and high cholesterol.

GENTLE READER: That makes it easier. Not on them, of course, but on you.

You should not be dealing with your appetites, but with theirs. Their son must start with an expression of serious concern about their health, and a plea that they at least try to eat more sensibly.

You must stay out of this, only jumping in enthusiastically when he asks that they let the two of you cook for them for a weekend, promising that you will both do your best to make the food enticing.

Miss Manners cautions you not to speak of this as a diet, and not to notice if they are sneaking food on the side. At the very least, you will have had a weekend to your taste, and perhaps even have benefited them.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a artist and participate in many art shows. Generally these shows and festivals are on the weekends, open to the public. Often they are set up in tents on city streets and in parks.

Many times at these shows, people will ask if my work is selling. These questions are almost always from people who are not my customers. It usually is, "Are you selling anything? Making any money?" Sometimes it is worse -- people think nothing of asking if I am actually making a living. (I am, thank you.)

I do not ask perfect strangers how much money they make. I want to be polite, but I also want to try to make them understand this is not an appropriate question. We artists are there to exhibit our work, so ask questions about the work, not my private business.

How should I respond to these questions? I have started to say things like, "It's been a nice day."

GENTLE READER: Try, "Yes, I went into it for the money. What I really dreamed of doing, ever since I was a small child, was to become a stockbroker."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it inappropriate to wear a red dress to a wedding? (I'm a guest, not the bride.) Somewhere I heard that it was a statement to say that you opposed the marriage.

GENTLE READER: Really? You heard that etiquette thoughtfully provides a sabotage-the-wedding dress code for disgruntled guests?

Actually, there has been a ban on wedding guests wearing red, but for a reason you will find even more astonishing: It was considered too racy for a wedding. Now that brides want to look racy, Miss Manners considers that a lost cause.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am annoyed by the way my significant other handles my calls. Although he is tethered to his cellphone, I do not expect him to pick up every call; it is the lifeline for his business.

Annoyance one: He will answer the phone but announce, "I can't talk now; I'll call you later" and hang up, leaving me no chance to leave a message. Isn't this why we have voicemail, to handle calls we can't take?

Second annoyance: He never listens to his messages, insisting it is more polite to return the call. I think if I have taken the time to leave a message, and I try to be brief, he could take the time to listen. I don't like to repeat myself, for one, and I may not need to be called back -- the message may be all that is needed to clear a situation.

He believes his way is the most polite, but I don't believe good manners would be so annoying.

GENTLE READER: If Miss Manners recommends texting, will you understand that she by no means condones its butchering of the language? As the electronic equivalent of a Post-it note, it gets the message across without interrupting the receiver.

However, at the risk of starting a domestic dispute, Miss Manners agrees with you. With caller ID, there is no reason not to let the call go to voicemail if you know you cannot take it. Being told it's a bad time to take a call by the person who just answered it is as illogical as it is impolite.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Should I loan a small amount of money to a friend?

GENTLE READER: If you are sure that you can, if necessary, spare both.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm at a loss as to how to respond to various inquiries while I'm pregnant. I'm a relatively private person, and so while I'm happy to share personal health and family matters with close friends, I'm caught off guard by acquaintances and co-workers who ask all sorts of questions.

I have resigned myself to the novelty others find in my condition and their desire to talk about it, such that I'll share my due date, that I'll be happy whether the baby is a boy or a girl, and that we're very happy about our future new family member.

The question that is asked most frequently, though, is, "How do you feel?" I usually reply with my usual, "I'm fine, how are you?" as if they had instead asked me, "How are you?"

I swear that I hear a quiet "thud" after my reply, as if they were expecting more. Am I expected to be exuberant at being reminded that I'm pregnant? Should I share how I really am feeling, with reports of itching in unspeakable places and generally feeling enormous?

GENTLE READER: Thank you, no -- although it would likely eliminate further questioning. Your response is perfect. Ignore the ensuing thud (unless of course it is accompanied by the breaking of water, in which case you should probably get yourself to a hospital).

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a good male friend who I once shared a house with (quite platonically) for six months. He is pleasant company, has provided me with good advice, is extremely considerate and and has helped me run errands on several occasions. I value his friendship and have no wish to offend him.

However, I am now living with my boyfriend, and it is only a matter of time before my good friend's previously charming habit of dropping by unannounced to say hello results in deep embarrassment on all parts.

If he continues to drop by unexpectedly of an evening (with no warning or pattern), inevitably he will one day find my boyfriend and me preoccupied, not sufficiently dressed to receive visitors, or simply in the middle of an argument.

How do I ask this good friend to call me by telephone before coming around, without causing offense or implying that I don't value his friendship? He is extremely shy and proper and would be deeply embarrassed, shocked and offended to accidentally intrude on any private moments between my boyfriend and me.

GENTLE READER: We'll get to that in a moment. First, is he using the house key he had when he lived there?

If so, change the lock without explaining. Should he ask, do not apologize, but say vaguely that it was a matter of security. Above all, do not offer to supply him with a new key.

If that is not the problem, Miss Manners would like to address your habit of opening the door while otherwise preoccupied, insufficiently dressed and in the middle of an argument.

Unless a visitor is there to warn you the building is on fire, or shows signs of being in immediate distress, do not answer the door under such circumstances. You need not be "at home" to visitors as long as you can resist the temptation to peek through the curtains.

When your friend brings it up later, say you are so sorry you missed him. If he were to give you warning next time that he is coming by, you will be sure to listen for the doorbell.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have noticed that during New York Broadway shows, there is an increasing habit by usually wealthy, older patrons to open candy and eat/chew during the show.

These Broadway tickets are not cheap, and I am wondering what to do about this. I have tried the "stare," asking ushers, etc., and still the shows are being treated as $5 movies by the patrons. It is very irritating and greatly detracts from the ambiance. What to do as the next step?

GENTLE READER: Your reference to $5 movies intrigued Miss Manners, who is not sure whether you meant to indicate a remarkably cheap ticket or were dating yourself by remembering a time when such things were common.

In either case, you are not alone either in believing that attendees at more expensive events should have better manners, or in observing that they do not.

However, while Miss Manners sympathizes with your frustration that rudeness, once addressed, is too often repeated, she believes that courtesy should be as common in the cheap seats as in the boxes.

The next step, when complaining to the ushers about the audience doesn't work, is to complain about the ushers to the management.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)