(The formal announcement of the change will be made on Tuesday, Sept. 3; you can find our press release that day at universaluclick.com. Both Nicholas and Jacobina have co-written books with their mother, and now their collaboration will extend to newspapers. We are delighted to welcome Nicholas and Jacobina to Universal Uclick, and we know your readers will enjoy this new generation's take on manners in an ever-changing social world.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I think you will like my approach.

There were two 25-ish women on the bus sitting 10 rows away from me, but speaking so loudly that it was impossible to read. Finally, I went over to them and asked them if they were hard of hearing. They looked at me in surprise and said "no."

I said: "Oh, I must be mistaken, but you were speaking so loudly that I thought you were. And you were talking about very personal matters that I am sure you did not want the entire bus to hear.

"You (I pointed at one of them) were just fired from your job. And, you (and I pointed at the other) were just dumped by your boyfriend."

I then got off the bus.

GENTLE READER: Are you hard of reading, so to speak?

Miss Manners may be mistaken, but she cannot imagine why else you would turn to an etiquette column to seek --indeed, to assume -- approval of your having humiliated strangers in public.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in the city and am experiencing an awkward situation with the neighbor who lives behind me. Although I don't know him well, I believe this neighbor is a lovely person.

However, he is a night owl, and he often goes into the alley between our houses between 10 and 11 p.m. and uses power tools, or organizes the tools in his truck. Since I sleep very lightly, this wakes me up. What is especially frustrating is that the loud noises will stop and then unexpectedly start again after I've drifted back to sleep.

I realize he is not violating any noise ordinances, but it seems he is violating normal behavior for quiet, but dense, city living.

As our houses are back to back, I barely know him. To ask him to stop would be quite awkward. Also, I'm not sure if he is in the wrong. Nevertheless, the urge to go into my backyard very early in the morning to take revenge weighs on my mind.

As a final point, this neighbor is an excellent plumber, and I don't want to do anything that makes it impossible for me to call on him for business needs. Are there any polite options for me besides ear plugs?

GENTLE READER: Why is a polite solution mentioned only as your third choice? You turn to it in desperation, after realizing that you cannot have this unknown -- and, you presume, lovely -- person arrested for violating the noise ordinance, and that taking revenge might deprive you of his professional help.

Yet Miss Manners knows that this is typical thinking when people deal with minor annoyances from their neighbors. They seem remarkably eager to make enemies who know where they live.

Instead, you could just go over and introduce yourself to your neighbor, make a bit of pleasant chitchat, and then ask him sympathetically if there is another time he could schedule his alley work, as the noise keeps you awake.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My family received a letter from a young relative requesting "donations" for tuition to start a sixth year of college. This same relative was married only a few weeks before sending this letter out. It was mentioned that they were grateful for the monies received for their wedding; however, there is an urgent need for more money to advance in the education field.

Let it be noted that no thank-you card was received for the money that was given as a gift at their wedding. My question for you is simply this: How should we handle this in a proper way? Should we ignore this plea or respond in some manner?

GENTLE READER: You mean by saying, "Did you get our last installment? How much more do we owe?" Miss Manners can think of no polite alternative to giving this grab the lack of attention it deserves.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a new nanny learning the ins and outs of the play date. My problem is in the confusion created by everyone trying to teach their child proper hosting etiquette without teaching how to behave as a guest.

I have had a number of children who demand their rights as a guest. For example, both girls want to wear the same plastic tiara. The visiting child will say, "But you have to let me wear it because I'm a guest."

I even had one child change her mind every time her host gave in and seemed content with the toy she ended up with. In that case, I told our visitor that though she is a guest, she is also a friend and has to be a good friend no matter whose house she is in.

I'm sure their thinking comes from the way their mothers have taught them to treat their own guests. I have talked to the child I care for about how to be a good guest in an attempt to prevent her behaving similarly when she is in someone else's home.

As the supervising adult, is it appropriate to correct another child's manners? How would such a correction be phrased in order to avoid giving the child I'm with daily the idea that it is OK not to allow her guest to choose first?

Also, I'm sure the other girls' mothers are not aware of their behavior. Should I mention it so that they can have a conversation at home? When picking up their daughters, they always ask specifically about their behavior.

GENTLE READER: Well, there's your opening. But Miss Manners supposes that mothers who have taken the trouble to teach hostess manners will be grateful if you continue the lesson -- as long as you mention it in a non-accusatory, if not actually flattering, way.

"I can see you taught her good hostess manners," you can say pleasantly, "and she's cleverly figured out that this means she can make up for it as a guest. Nice try -- they all do it. I've had to teach Magdalena that guests have responsibilities, too. And of course when I'm supervising play dates, I have to explain this to everyone to keep the peace."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: In the last couple of weeks, my boyfriend has been outright rude to me! He always makes smart comments, mocks my voice because I sound like a little kid, or tells me I'm in the wrong if I repeat something he doesn't like.

Sometimes the things he says even make me cry. No matter what, he tends to call me immature when I speak calmly and everything. What do I do?

GENTLE READER: Although Miss Manners hates to be the one to tell you, your boyfriend wants to break up. Furthermore, he has chosen a particularly nasty way to do it.

A sudden turn for the rude, on the part of someone who has hitherto been well-behaved, generally signals the expectation that the target will take offense enough to initiate a fatal quarrel.

You may find yourself hoping, instead, that he is upset about something unrelated to you, and wanting to offer sympathy. In that case, Miss Manners would call your attention to the fact that someone who seeks relief for himself by making the person closest to him suffer is not a good choice of companion.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When preparing a meal for guests, I find it best to serve meat in pieces that require the least amount of cutting.

I say, leave the cutting in the kitchen; it's time to eat. Perhaps a slice or two with a knife so as not to present my guests with a child's plate, but properly presented as a token of wanting to feed and entertain them.

I do this because many of my guests have to travel hours to get to my dining room, and I don't want to waste a moment of their time. I want their attendance and their stories to be the most important things. I don't want the separation of meat from bone to prevail.

I started doing this after so many formal dinners, tuxedoes and all, where discussions were put on hold whilst surgery ensued.

I almost wrote, "Perhaps dinner conversation is not the best manner; but to have people not speak because it's eating time seems to be the worst" -- until I remembered a guest who preferred one of the vegetables I was serving burnt right to carbon, as his family has done for generations, and not lightly heated as I had done. Before I could respond, he got up and put it back on the flame until it was black as coal.

GENTLE READER: Is it true that formal dinners are now populated by people who haven't figured out how to cut meat and talk at the same time? And who have the nerve to hop up from the table and re-cook the food?

Miss Manners is sadly aware that the demise of the nightly family dinner has resulted in widespread ignorance of the basic skills and courtesies of eating. She often hears from people seeking quick instruction before a meal they consider important.

Others simply don't care, and don't believe that anyone else does. Miss Manners hears about them from their disgusted spouses.

But she had not suspected that people who care enough about the social and ceremonial aspects of eating to give or attend formal dinners are oblivious of the elementary requirements.

As dinner is over, and everyone has left the table, she puts her head down and weeps.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)