DEAR MISS MANNERS: A cousin has come home from a long foreign trip, taken in part to fill a spiritual hole in her life. She has asked us to come to her home to hear excerpts from her trip journal and to see a showing of photos she took.

While we appreciate that she found the trip rewarding, we have no interest in sitting through such an evening. How do we politely decline? Claiming date unavailability won't work, as she would persist in finding an alternate date.

GENTLE READER: You may have to go on a long trip yourself. Weighing the time, expense and inconvenience of fleeing against spending an evening listening to your cousin recount her geographical and spiritual adventures, you may want to start packing.

In a more kindly spirit, Miss Manners has to tell you that you are probably stuck. But you could exercise some control by adding to an apparently enthusiastic response your desire to tell her your own news. Whether it is about your last vacation, your children's accomplishments or your hobby, bring pictures and ask to go first on the grounds that your presentation will be short. It will hasten the time during your cousin's show at which you can declare, "My, look how late it is."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am soon to be graduating and everyone is talking about these "graduation announcements." All my friends are excited to get them out so they can get presents.

I want nothing except a speedy and fun graduation. I was wondering if there is another way to announce my news that doesn't imply asking for anything (even though I've looked at announcements and don't understand that part anyway). A nice phone call?

GENTLE READER: Isn't it strange that a generation that recognizes no more formal means of communication than the Internet still sends out graduation announcements? Well, not so strange, as you have explained.

This is, indeed, a milestone to be told casually to those you know would be interested. Instead, it is often broadcast around to many who have only the vaguest idea of who the laureate might be, but who quickly pick up on the purpose.

Miss Manners congratulates you, not only on your graduation, but also on your good taste.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a preschool teacher and need a nice way to ask the parents to chip in for a Mother's Day gift the children are making. Each gift will cost about $8.

How do you ask mothers to help pay for their own gift? Ideally, I would write the dads, but some dads are not in the house. I don't want this to come off as tacky.

GENTLE READER: Although Miss Manners understands that tight school budgets have led to assessing parents for materials, she considers that unfortunate. For parents who are also severely pressed, it can be an embarrassment, as well as a hardship.

If you can think of no cheaper way to do such a project, she suggests that you could avoid mentioning the specific use by asking for "school supplies" or "art material."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it OK to ask for more bread so that you can take it home? I go out with people who feel that it is acceptable to ask for more bread with the express purpose of taking that bread home, not to enjoy it at the meal.

Am I wrong to think that in this situation it is improper to ask for more bread?

GENTLE READER: Only if they are asking the grocer and planning to pay for what he hands them would you be wrong.

Miss Manners hears often now about people who have expanded the doggie bag practice in order to stock their larders. The idea was supposed to be to take home from restaurants the food that you had ordered but were unable to finish. Your dining companions actually want to request extra food they would not otherwise have been served. And now hosts report that guests are asking for -- or simply packing up -- leftovers after private dinner parties.

These are not desperate, starving people, or they wouldn't be going to restaurants and dinner parties. Why are they begging and looting? How do they have the nerve to expect restaurants or hosts to supply them with future meals? And why do you continue to eat with them?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband will soon be filing for divorce. I have, for several years past, presented my mother-in-law with a Mother's Day corsage because she requested one from me several years ago, and I have continued the tradition to avoid the discomfort of being asked to buy one.

When I am no longer her daughter-in-law, is it appropriate for me to order her a Mother's Day corsage as a gift from our young children? My husband and his sister will most likely not remember to order her one, as they have never done it in the past and left the task up to me, or perhaps not even thought of it at all.

I have heard, secondhand, that she will still welcome me in her home after the divorce, and I assume she will want to continue as cordial a relationship as possible, as she will still be my children's grandmother.

It is unclear to me at this point if our divorce will be bitter and ugly or if it will be a cooperative process. By the end, my mother-in-law may come to hate me.

GENTLE READER: As you have been sending those corsages to avoid annoyance, rather than out of affection, you could hardly be blamed for stopping. Yet Miss Manners can think of reasons that you might want to continue.

One is as a reminder of the tie you have with her through the children. Another has to do with the possibility of your being vilified during an unpleasant divorce. It might not help, but it certainly wouldn't hurt to have fresh evidence of your having been gracious to her.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a gentleman in my 20s and work in a very large office building. I am absolutely smitten (!) by a most angelic young lady who also works in the building. We cross paths in the lobby at least weekly and exchange repeated glances and smiles.

Unfortunately, I know nothing about her except that we work for different employers (she rides a different elevator bank), so getting a proper introduction seems impossible. I know from reading your column that a gentleman wouldn't try to pick up a stranger in public, nor would a lady respond to such an overture.

However, in such a situation, isn't it permissible for a lady to "accidentally" drop her handkerchief in the gentleman's direction, he picks it up and offers it back, thus giving these two strangers a legitimate reason to engage in conversation? If so, is there a similar maneuver that a gentleman may use?

Did I mention I am absolutely smitten (!)? I know you don't dispense dating advice, but I would really appreciate your help here.

GENTLE READER: You remind Miss Manners of an Ogden Nash poem about a gentleman who devised a plan for learning the identity of a beautiful stranger, the girl of his dreams, whom he saw on the street.

He reasoned that if he chased her down with his car and ran her over, "gently ... with one wheel, say, certainly with no more than two," he would be able to read her name and address the next day in the newspaper.

And so he did. That day, her address turned out to be Mercy Hospital. And when he presented himself there, it did not go well.

From this we learn: no accidents.

As for dropping things, Miss Manners doubts whether the handkerchief trick would work today. Do any ladies besides herself actually use handkerchiefs nowadays? A crumpled tissue would not have the same effect. And even the lace-edged real thing might inspire a horror of possible disease transmitted to anyone who picked it up.

Ladies are not expected to pick up objects that gentlemen drop, but perhaps if you let your wallet fall, your dream girl might call it to your attention, and you could thank her so profusely as to start a conversation. Or she might hover over it, hoping you would not notice its absence, in which case you would at least know that she is not your dream girl.

Would it be too easy for you to ask around if anyone you know knows her?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it correct to eat off of the gourmet sauce spoon? I have seen this done in Paris but not in the States.

GENTLE READER: You are speaking of the small, flat, notched implement that is part of the individual place setting, Miss Manners trusts. Yes, it is an eating utensil. It is a 20th-century French invention, which never quite caught on among those of us who use the edge of our forks and those who have more direct methods.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)