DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have moved to a new city, where a form of parenting seems to be particularly prevalent. One of my closest friends here just adopted a new baby, and was warned that when bottle-feeding her baby in public, she may be subjected to "well-meaning" strangers approaching her about the benefits of breast-feeding.

This hasn't happened to her yet, but I thought I'd ask you how to deal with this, as even the idea of it makes me furious. I can't think of a civilized response that comes close to the level of reaction warranted by such a situation.

I think if I were present and that were to happen, my instinct would be to throw my beverage in their face, perhaps with a "well-meaning" comment on the benefits of proper hydration.

GENTLE READER: Although Miss Manners thoroughly deplores the rudeness you describe, she feels that she must risk seeming equally intrusive by offering you another piece of advice about babies.

It is: Never start a street fight while you are holding one.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I was invited to a dinner with an acquaintance, I expected a relatively short dinner with light and pleasant conversation, and accepted enthusiastically.

Instead, I was treated to a 2 1/2-hour exposition on how I need to fully reconsider my life and choices. She questioned me severely on such personal topics as my friendships and intimate relationships, my lack of social graces, my overly self-important opinion and my lack of self-knowledge, providing "advice" for each topic.

This included her statement that I do not know how to conduct myself in society, and that my current relationship with a young gentleman is "invalid."

I attempted to end the conversation several times, but she took this behavior as my not giving her my full attention and respect.

At the end of the dinner, she explained what a terrible conversation partner I had been for not asking her questions about herself.

In fact, I was so taken aback at her questions that I could not find a way to continue the conversation. I would normally reciprocate a question nearly verbatim, but I would not want to ask such rude or personal "questions" myself. I would hate to think that such behavior would ever be appropriate, particularly from someone I do not consider a close friend.

Please let me know if I am incorrect in this thought. I have considered what I ought to have asked in response, but I have not been able to find just the right phrasing.

GENTLE READER: It is not that long since Miss Manners heard from someone who planned just such a dinnertime attack. She doesn't know which makes her feel worse: that her attempts to head off such a travesty of hospitality failed, or that there are two such people as your acquaintance.

There is, indeed, something you should have said when this tirade began: "Goodbye."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 43-year-old woman who has been dating a 61-year-old man for about 18 months. At a gathering of his family, his 96-year-old mother introduced me to the attendees, all of whom I was meeting for the first time, as her son's "friend."

I objected (privately) to her son, who then mentioned it to his mother. She said that since we were not engaged, referring to me as his "friend" was appropriate.

Given that we are adults in a serious, committed relationship and had, in fact, discussed marriage, I felt that his mother was being gratuitously unkind, and that the term "friend" has pretty loose and often casual connotations.

Your thoughts? Boyfriend sided with his mother, by the way.

GENTLE READER: Then let it go. Actually, Miss Manners would have advised you to let it go, anyway.

Do you really want to force a 96-year-old lady, who might become your mother-in-law, to announce that your relationship is "serious," whatever that means?

Indeed, the traditional stages of courtship are friendship, engagement and marriage. To that, modern society has added "partnership" to indicate that a household has been established. We do not yet have a term for having "in fact, discussed marriage."

Nothing unkind was intended. Furthermore, you need not worry that the relatives remained in ignorance of your attachment. The minute you left, every one of them asked her.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have 10 bridesmaids but only five groomsmen! What do I do?

GENTLE READER: You calm down, that's what you do.

Wedding attendants are not a parade of little temporary couples. They are there for you, not for one another, at least until the party has been going for a while. Get them down the aisle as threesomes, a bridesmaid on either side of a groomsman. Miss Manners promises that they will not be charged with bigamy.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was very close to my father, as everyone I know is aware. He passed away, and I have received a number of nice text messages, Facebook messages and emails of condolence, but very few sympathy letters.

I am feeling saddened that digital expressions of sympathy seem to have replaced handwritten and mailed expressions. When my mother died many years ago (pre-digital era), I treasured each and every written expression of sympathy and still have them.

My parents were extremely conscientious about sending personalized notes, and this is something I also do routinely, because I think it is still highly valued by the person who has suffered a deep loss. Do you have thoughts about expressing sympathy in the digital era?

GENTLE READER: It is not entirely a digital era. It is an era in which we are fortunate enough to have various means of sending informal messages quickly, but we have not been deprived of the means of sending thoughtful, personal ones on important occasions. Miss Manners agrees that for your friends to choose the quickest, most casual way to issue condolences was unfortunate.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We hosted a dinner for a female friend of ours, and after dessert we retired to the family room to watch a one-hour episode of a top-rated program. Our guest wasn't interested in the show and proceeded to take out her phone and check email, or something.

I found this to be very rude. I thanked her for coming and switched off the TV as she departed.

Am I crazy, or has folks' behavior become so phone-obsessed that they find it virtually impossible to break free of the darn thing?

GENTLE READER: Have you considered the possibility that you are so television-obsessed that you find it virtually impossible to break free of the darn thing?

Miss Manners is inundated with complaints about guests who use their telephones to talk, text or check email during social events, and has never before failed to condemn this rude practice. To prefer doing this to conversing with those who are present is startlingly rude.

But you started with the electronics, without warning and without consulting your guest's taste. You left her to amuse herself, and she did.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm going to be 52 by the time my wedding comes up next month. After my last divorce, No. 2, I went back to my maiden name. Now that I'm getting remarried, I've been thinking of keeping my maiden name and adding it to my new husband's.

He says it doesn't matter either way to him, but I'm curious what's the right thing to do. I know the hassles there are to changing everything I have to change, and of course, even hyphenating is going to create this same issue.

I'm not sure if I would have to use the hyphenated name on everything, or if I can pick and choose which name to use at a particular time. I've tried to research online about it, but came up with nothing. Can you help me, please?

GENTLE READER: Well, somewhat -- just not to the extent of making a definitive declaration of what your name should be. Any hope of maintaining a standard naming system was long ago superseded by individuals (let's face it, ladies) asserting their claim to be addressed as they wish.

So now everyone is happy, yes?

No. Everyone is angry that others may be unaware of her choice, and actively disapproving of others' choices.

You see why etiquette stepped back from the fray. Maiden name, married name, hyphenated name -- etiquette does not object to any of them. Miss Manners also recognizes the convenience of using more than one name, for example, using your maiden name professionally, especially if you have established a reputation under it, and using your married name socially, so as to keep your private life apart from your professional life. That would not even require all those official changes.

But she will warn that you will not be able to get on an airplane unless you remember which name matches your documents.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)