DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been through a divorce and will be spending my first Valentine's Day alone in quite some time. I have been thinking about ordering myself a few roses and having them sent to my work.

I was wondering if that would be crass of me, or is it OK? Could you please shed some light on the subject?

GENTLE READER: Perhaps you should shed some light on your motive. If it cheers you to have roses, by all means, buy yourself some. But the ploy of having them sent to the office, rather than just taking some there or to your home, makes Miss Manners suspect that your idea is to make your colleagues believe you have a new beau.

If that is the case, please don't. It is too pathetic, and will only invite questions that will oblige you to spin tales. In the end, that will make you feel worse.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the proper way to address a former governor who resigned from office? It seems disrespectful to all the governors who maintained their commitment to their solemn oath and disrespectful to the office to address a person who resigned a state's top office as Governor Smith or Jones.

GENTLE READER: Such is the protocol, however. Miss Manners is afraid that it is rude to refer to such a person by his incarceration number.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work for a popular doctor with a huge following at a large optical practice. Our prices are listed in a very nice frame on the wall as you enter the office. We do participate in various discounts such as AARP, AAA and insurance discounts, and those are also listed on the sign.

My issue is that when I ask for payment, some patients argue with me about the price. I guess the squeaky wheel gets the grease? In front of others in the lobby, they boom.

I work alone and need to keep the peace, collect the fees, take the patients back for pretesting and then to the doctor for the exam. Time is not my friend, as I have much to do in a little amount of time. I have to keep it moving or there's a train wreck.

What polite, short and to-the-point thing can I say with a smile on my face and in my voice to keep the mood upbeat in an all's-well environment?

GENTLE READER: "I'm sorry, but I'm authorized to collect the fees only as stated, so I'll have to do that now. But you could write a letter, stating your reasons for asking for a discount, and I'll pass it on to the doctor's lawyer to see if an adjustment should be made."

This is a bit long, but if it is said clearly, those in line behind will pressure the protester to give up. And in Miss Manners' experience, those who argue the longest are the least willing to write letters.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I are flummoxed. In our powder room, we keep a pretty container with decorated paper hand towels on the vanity right next to the sink. There is also a towel ring on the wall with a towel that is there as a decoration. (It's embroidered and is partly satin, and to us it is obviously a show towel only.) Inevitably, some, if not most, guests will use the show towel rather than the paper hand towels.

Why do you think this is? We would think it's obvious that if there are paper hand towels in a powder room, they are to be used, rather than a show towel hanging on a rack. We certainly use the paper towels at other people's homes. Are we doing something wrong?

GENTLE READER: Yes: trying to show off with a hand towel.

Miss Manners has heard of show horses and show dogs, and she is aware that some people use expensive art or automobiles to show off. But to hang a towel as a showpiece is ridiculous, and to expect guests to understand that they are unworthy of drying their hands on it is insulting.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife says I shouldn't bother you with this question. It might be less than important in the scheme of social relations, but it's been bugging me.

We were invited (by telephone) to a Super Bowl watch party. Along with a snack item, we showed up two hours before, dressed casually (me in a sport shirt and slacks, my wife in a sweater and skirt).

That was pretty much the dress code for the 10 other guests -- except for Joe and his wife. They brought the guacamole, but he was dressed as though he was going to bed. He had on what looked like pajama bottoms and a rather raggedy-looking sweatshirt from one of the competing teams. His wife was only a little more "formal" in another team sweatshirt and color-coordinated sweatpants.

Should someone have spoken to Joe beforehand about what clothes were appropriate, or should we talk with them now, after the fact? There was no willingness to say anything, just a few raised eyebrows.

GENTLE READER: Of course you should come to Miss Manners with this -- who else acknowledges the symbolic importance of dress codes? (Nearly everyone notices them, as you know from those raised eyebrows, but even you feel sheepish about doing so.)

The people whom you should not bother with this are Joe and his wife. Their mistake could have been an accident -- who knows what "casual" means? -- but in any case, it would be rude to chastise them for it. Besides, it wouldn't accomplish anything. Either they realized that they were improperly dressed, in which case you surely do not want to increase their embarrassment, or they didn't notice or don't care.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Granddaddy always took his hat off when going indoors. Is this still true?

GENTLE READER: You'll have to check with Granddaddy. If he is a gentleman, Miss Manners trusts that he still does.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When sitting in a sports bar during the Super Bowl at the time the singing of the national anthem is broadcast on TV, is it proper for the patrons to sit or stand? Or is either response proper?

GENTLE READER: If the rule of standing for the national anthem applied to recorded renditions, listening to the game on the radio while driving would be fatal.

However, Miss Manners would also like to prevent accidents in bars. She must therefore warn you about the Patriotic Police, who can be extremely belligerent about enforcing respect for the anthem and flag, even when they are not fully conversant with the rules. So if others get off their bar stools, and perhaps put their hands on their hearts, you may want to do so, too.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: It seems inconsiderate to me when people RSVP to dinner invitations by saying they will come "if I can," or "I'll call an hour before to let you know whether I can make it," when what I have needed is an accurate head count some days before the event.

Now I find myself in the shoes of my rude invitees, that is, wishing to accept but uncertain, for reasons beyond my control, whether I can make good on the commitment.

What is the proper response? My inclination is to decline rather than find myself having to withdraw at the last minute.

GENTLE READER: Remember when you were a child and did something unkind, and your mother said, "How would you feel if he did that to you?"

You were supposed to conclude that if you wouldn't like this done to you, you should not do it to other people. Thus having discovered the Golden Rule for yourself, you were then supposed to use it to govern your conduct in general.

That is why your inclination is to decline an invitation that you may not be able to accept. Miss Manners suggests that you follow that inclination. If you decline while explaining the circumstances, your host may or may not grant you an exception and say that you can defer the response.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do I properly address someone who cut the line in front of me?

GENTLE READER: As "Sir" or "Madam," continuing with, "I believe that the end of the line is over there."

Miss Manners doesn't want to know what you were thinking of saying, but you will only incite worse behavior unless you give the breaker-in a dignified way to retreat.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband feels it is poor manners to expect the family to help with the cleanup after a big holiday meal. They are all adults, and I have done all the cooking entirely by myself. They have never objected, but after more than 50 years, he has decided to make an issue of this.

GENTLE READER: Please tell him that Miss Manners congratulates him for sparing all his relatives, you above all, by volunteering -- albeit belatedly -- to do all the cleaning up alone.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)