DEAR MISS MANNERS: On a job application or any application, when does one check the divorce box versus the single one? I say you're divorced for one year and check the divorced box, then you are to check the single box. One can't be divorced forever. Some people with kids prefer to use the divorced box, but one should use the single box if they are single.

GENTLE READER: The rule you propose is better than the common practice, Miss Manners admits -- the one by which a formerly married lady is called a divorcee forever, while the former husband immediately reverts to being a bachelor.

Still, you don't get to make up the rules. Well, socially, you do. But even Miss Manners does not get to mess with legal terms. If you tire of being single and are asked your status on a marriage license application, she is afraid that you have to come clean.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I just received an invitation for our 60th-year high school class reunion -- yeah, I'm 78 and not accepting aging gracefully. I still exercise, eat healthy and stay mentally active.

The reunion will be held during the daylight hours -- probably since most of us remaining don't/can't drive at night. There will be a sit-down dinner with entertainment and "visiting" following.

Since many of us can't consume a whole dinner (as opposed to a buffet, where we could choose how much or what we want to eat), would it be proper to take along a plastic food bag to take home the food we can't eat from the served dinner, and which would otherwise be thrown out?

I understand the reasoning -- a lot of people our age would rather be "served" than go to a buffet. At restaurants with served-portion dinners, I usually take along a plastic container to take home what I can't eat or ask for one and don't feel the least embarrassed. (After all, I paid for it.)

But I don't know the protocol at reunions/receptions/banquets. That "overstuffed" feeling after my "eating's worth" is horrible and certainly doesn't contribute to a good night's sleep or weight control.

If this is construed as "cheap," so be it. Being a "Depression baby," I just hate to waste food or anything else! Besides, if it tasted good the first time, I'm sure it will taste as good or better the second time. What are your thoughts?

GENTLE READER: That this would be a good time for you to get in touch with the organizing committee and suggest that they order smaller portions, at least as an option. If you call them Health Servings or Youth Plates, everyone will want them.

Miss Manners will take you at your word that you wouldn't mind your classmates' getting up a collection so that you can afford to buy food. But while doggie bags are acceptable when buying one's own dinner at a restaurant, they are much less so on social occasions for which you have paid and utterly wrong when you have a host.

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DEAR MISS MANNERS: With the onset of global warming, now more than ever must we be more environmentally aware and do more to ensure a safer planet for all of us. I believe that making small changes in everyday life can have a great impact on creating a more eco-friendly world.

That said, it irritates me to see other people being wasteful and ignorant of how their behavior is so damaging. For example, a roommate used to leave the water running while she brushed her teeth.

I can easily correct my friends and family, but what about people, like my roommate, with whom I am not as close? The incident with her occurred over a year ago, and I still feel guilty for not correcting her behavior.

As an environmentalist, I feel I should say something, but is it appropriate? And, if so, how should I say it?

GENTLE READER: With the same tact that Miss Manners is trying to muster in explaining to you that going around correcting others without invitation has (as you would put it) an impact on creating an unfriendly world.

That is not to say that you cannot discuss and explain environmentalism as long as you show people the respect that you feel for the planet.

Miss Manners gathers that you did not care for your roommate, or you would not be brooding about this a year later. But please get that irritation under control. If you are pleasant, you can talk about your dedication and even mention your habits -- saying, for example, that you turn off the water while brushing your teeth. That is more human-friendly than denouncing others' ignorance and issuing them orders.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 37-year-old Silicon Valley professional who wears hearing aids. I can hear without them, but it takes more effort.

Sometimes, my hearing aids cause the inside of my ears to itch. If I am alone in my cube, I will take them out, scratch inside my ears, and let my ears air out.

But what is proper etiquette if I am in a business meeting? Is it rude to take out a hearing aid and scratch inside my ear? I would still be able to hear the discussion if I did that. Should I excuse myself from the meeting and then go to the restroom to do it? If I do that, I might miss hearing some important information. I also think that leaving the meeting might be considered worse etiquette. So what should I do?

GENTLE READER: If getting a more comfortable hearing aid is possible, Miss Manners strongly urges you to do so. Otherwise, whoever is speaking when you remove yours is going to be rattled, thinking you consider him not worth listening to.

Her back-up suggestions are, in order of propriety:

-- Scratch before the meeting. If the meeting lasts too long for that to help, you may be sure that there will be other people excusing themselves for other reasons.

-- Confide in a colleague and ask that person to take notes while you are absent.

-- Learn to lean a hand against the offending ear, and perform this without anyone's being able to see what you are doing.

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DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I recently went to a very "lax" after-dinner party where we knew only the host and one other couple. While we were there, the host as well as several other guests kept texting other people.

It seemed that every time I was in the middle of a conversation (at least five different times), the person I was talking with started to text someone from their cell phone.

The first couple of times, I tried to say casually that it was offensive, but after a while, I got more aggressive, saying it was rude and felt to me like they were whispering in front of me.

The casual response was always something like, "It's work related" or "I'm only texting my husband."

I didn't feel that was appropriate, either. If they were on the phone, shouldn't they at least say, "Excuse me, I have to take this call"?

Am I wrong to be offended? Should I have handled it differently? I have always liked the host, but I told my husband afterward that I don't intend on attending future gatherings.

GENTLE READER: Party? It sounds like study hall.

You don't really need Miss Manners to tell you that it is always rude when you are in the midst of talking to someone to have that person turn to someone else, by whatever means. This is just another version of the party guest who looks over your shoulder in the hope of finding someone more interesting.

Such types never seem to succeed, do they? It doesn't matter with whom they find themselves -- they keep turning to someone else, even someone who isn't there.

Well, let them. You can't go around scolding people. But you can excuse yourself from their company the minute you lose their attention. It is only considerate to let them focus on the company they evidentially prefer.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When my husband and I were married a month and a half ago, we received congratulatory cards and gifts from virtually all friends and family, except his parents.

I feel awkward even writing about this, but it seems a little odd not to receive a wedding present from his parents. They hosted a rehearsal dinner at their home, so perhaps that was their wedding gift to us -- we aren't really sure.

They are quite stable financially, so I honestly think that has nothing to do with it. I have talked to my husband about the situation, and he said he thought his mother wanted to wait until after the wedding to give us a gift that we did not get from other guests.

Neither of us wants to say anything to them about it, lest it be assumed we are trolling for gifts. Still, my feelings are quite hurt that we did not even receive so much as a card from them. Do you have any suggestions for us?

GENTLE READER: That you stop looking for alternative ways to troll for gifts.

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