DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had an intense friendship that bordered on the romantic with a younger colleague of my husband's. The two of them are friends, and I expect we'll meet him when we attend a conference next month. My husband may want to socialize with him.
The colleague and I never acted on our feelings and are not speaking anymore. (We used to have an extensive correspondence.)
I don't know what attitude to take with him when I see him again. It might be awkward to avoid him, since I would then be avoiding other people my husband wants me to meet, but I think it would pain me to pretend to be light and casual over drinks. It was right to stop talking to him, but I miss him very much. Then I think that if we're going to be running into him in the course of my husband's work in the future, I should get over the awkwardness now. What would you suggest?
GENTLE READER: That you get over the awkwardness and deal with him as you would any other colleague of your husband's.
But suggesting and trusting are two different things. Why should Miss Manners trust you to be able to do this when you make it clear that you do not trust yourself?
So she is revising her suggestion. You are required to be polite to all these people you encounter, but you not required to be equally friendly with them all. This is one person you should avoid -- excusing yourself, when left alone with him, to greet others, to powder your nose -- as much as you can without making it obvious to anyone except him. Should your husband pick up on this, you should call on the privilege of having private preferences and say, "Oh, I don't know; there's just something about him -- and there are so many others I'd rather talk to."
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Whenever I go out to eat breakfast with a group, I order scrambled eggs, not because they are my favorite, but because I don't know the proper way to eat fried eggs.
At home, I would just cut up the entire egg with a knife and fork, but I have always had the feeling that I should use the fork to slice off a bite at a time. I would hate this because I like the yellow to cover all the white of the egg. Help! I am getting tired of scrambled eggs.
GENTLE READER: Just because Miss Manners won't let you use a knife on your eggs or cut up all your food at once, that doesn't mean she cruelly condemns you to a lifetime of scrambled eggs at public breakfasts.
Fried eggs are cut only with the side of the fork. You appear to like yours lightly cooked, in which case a preliminary stab at the yolks should lawfully accomplish your objective of spreading the yellow around. If they are firmer, you may use the fork to cut pie-shaped wedges containing both yellow and white. And Miss Manners hopes that this will be the most strenuous part of your day.