DEAR MISS MANNERS: How does one respond to the increasing enthusiasm of pregnant youngsters? Twice in the last year, co-workers have buttonholed me to admire the ultrasound photos of their yet-unborn offspring.

I find myself dreading the inevitable march of new technologies; sooner or later, I fear these medical snapshots will cease to be mercifully dim and grainy. (Color, no doubt, will follow.)

I already had very little wish to examine the internal organs of my co-workers and their significant others, but today arrived a fresh challenge. I received an e-mailed "It's a Boy!" message concerning a fetus in its third trimester that has already been named. May I send one-third of a congratulatory greeting card?

GENTLE READER: Something has to be done before this becomes the conventional thing to do. Overly enthusiastic parents-to-be would then move on to showing pictures taken earlier in the process.

Miss Manners trusts you know that you are obliged to make a pleasant fuss over baby pictures, cooing and gratifying the parents with some remark that passes for admiration. But to peek at someone who is not yet ready to come out of the womb is unseemly. If asked if you want to see the ultrasounds, you can intimate this by saying, "Oh, no, thank you, I'll wait. But I'll be eager to see pictures of him when he is born."

Caught unawares with such pictures thrust before your eyes, your best defense is to refuse to believe what you are seeing. It is too mean to play on parents' fears by inquiring anxiously, "Is he going to be all right?" But asking "When was she born?" or "You mean it's not finished yet?" will force them into explanations that may -- or may not -- plant the idea that inviting people to admire one's insides is neither conventional nor rewarding.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Recently I assisted a woman and her two children with directions and was "thanked" with a comment that seemed inappropriate and self-serving. The woman said, "Have a blessed day."

I was terribly offended and believe her response meant she was fulfilling some commitment to herself to display her religious beliefs regardless of the appropriateness of displaying her religion to me. Will you comment on what response I could have used to convey my displeasure?

GENTLE READER: "Thank you." True, it is what the lady should have said, but what she did say was a mere pleasantry, neither a benediction nor an attempt to proselytize. Miss Manners believes it might help if you persuaded yourself to think of the remark as an abbreviated form of, "Bless you, kind sir, for having rescued my family and me."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How is one to respond to "You look so youthful!" I know the right answer of course; it's "Thank you." But, still. It peeves.

GENTLE READER: Then try adding wistfully, "But I would so much prefer to look wise."

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DEAR MISS MANNERS: Recently I overheard a conversation in which my boss used the term "irregardless" several times. It is obvious that she does not know that "irregardless" is not a word. What would be the most respectful way of correcting her?

GENTLE READER: Miss Manners suggests that you think about another word: "disregard."

One meaning of "to disregard" is to show a lack of respect for other people, which is what you would be doing if you corrected one of your boss's overheard conversations. Another meaning is to ignore something, which is what respect requires you to do here.

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DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a wheelchair user, I am at a loss on how to respond to a certain fellow employee whose attention I am finding embarrassing. I have crossed paths with him more than a dozen times (in the elevator, cafeteria, etc.), always in the company of other workers, and he nearly every time makes a loud, joking remark like, "No speeding now!" or "Don't run over me!"

I have encountered this with others over the years, but not so persistently nor where I was in a position to feel professionally somewhat vulnerable. I am a fairly new employee and he is much senior to me, both in age and position.

I have tried several things to try to influence him to stop doing this, including introducing myself to him personally since he did not appear to know my name or what department I work in; responding with silence and a chilly smile; and making a neutral reply like, "I sure am glad it stopped raining, aren't you?" These have not changed his actions.

My husband suggested writing him a nice note about it, but I worry this might increase the discomfort or make him defensive/angry rather than make things better.

GENTLE READER: Quite aside from the matter of rank, Miss Manners agrees that a "Your remark makes me feel uncomfortable" letter would be discomfiting, not to mention vaguely pathetic. But surely one poor attempt at a joke deserves another.

Next time you get the remark about running him over, you might say with a smile, "You know, I never thought of running anyone over, but now that you've mentioned this so many times, I can't get it out of my head. So let me apologize in advance in case I get carried away with the idea."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I rent a home and was keeping my locked bicycle in an out-of-the-way spot outside. This did not deter the thieves who managed to make off with it. I really have no secure place outside where I can put my replacement bicycle, but there is an area inside the house, just off the foyer, where I think it would be fairly unobtrusive. Will I be committing some breach of protocol or etiquette if I have my bike "on display" provided (of course) that I keep it neat and clean?

GENTLE READER: Do you promise Miss Manners that you are not inveigling her into taking sides against someone else who lives in the house and has been tripping over the bicycle?

If all who are resident agree -- and if you live alone, we can safely say that they do -- Miss Manners has no objection. A stationary bicycle should not be in areas used by guests because exercise equipment evokes private functions, but an outdoor bicycle is more public. Besides, stranger and less attractive metal sculptures have been known to decorate foyers.

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