life

Trouble Looms for Siblings Expecting to Inherit $1 Million

Life and Money With Helaine by by Helaine Olen
by Helaine Olen
Life and Money With Helaine | January 7th, 2020

Dear Helaine: My dad is in his late 80s and plans to leave an estate worth about $1 million. There are four adult children, including me. We all have different mothers.

One didn't even meet my dad till she was in her 20s. I've never met her, but based on what my dad tells me, she seems weird, unstable and eager to inherit. The second is a self-made millionaire. The third married into money and hates me. None of us live near our dad, and we don't share common bonds.

He's told all of us he plans to divide the estate "evenly." This looks like a ready-made future dumpster fire, given our various mutual animosities. How should we prepare? Just assume we need to lawyer up? Just ugh. -- Half-Sibling Blues

Dear Half-Sibling Blues: Your father sounds like an extremely difficult character, based on this write-up, and I suspect that you and your siblings are fighting over his affections, among other things. All too often these conflicts get carried over into battles over the estate after death.

I am hoping for all your sakes your father appointed a neutral arbiter -- say, a lawyer or financial planner -- to administer the estate after his passing. If it's one of the siblings or another family member, it might be just fine or it could get very difficult -- especially if, as you say, there are pre-existing animosities.

If you think your relationship with your dad is solid, you could attempt to speak with him about it and explain that it would be better for an outside party to carry out his final wishes. It would be best if you could do this in tandem with at least one other sibling, but based on this note, I'm guessing that's not possible.

I don't think you will necessarily need to lawyer up. While $1 million certainly sounds like a lot of money, divided four ways, it's a generous inheritance, but not the riches long legal battles are made of.

One other note of caution: It's possible this amount will be substantially less when you inherit it, especially if your father needs long-term medical care. Don't count on receiving a six-figure inheritance until it's actually in your bank account.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)

Family & ParentingMoney
life

Getting Satisfaction When an Online Order Goes Wrong

Life and Money With Helaine by by Helaine Olen
by Helaine Olen
Life and Money With Helaine | December 31st, 2019

Hi, Helaine: Here's a problem for you: While doing some holiday gift shopping online, I used my credit card and bought a sweater for myself from a small but cool clothing company. It never arrived. When I checked the tracking online, the delivery service dropped it off at the wrong address, miles from my home. When I reached out to the company, it refused to replace or refund me for the item, saying I entered the wrong ZIP code.

But here's the thing: I didn't. I checked. I entered the right address. My mom suggested I try taking my case to social media, but I'm embarrassed. Now what do I do? -- Frustrated Self-Gifter

Dear Frustrated: First, you should never be embarrassed into silence when it comes to your money. You should call the credit card issuer immediately, say you want to dispute the charge and explain why. The issuer will talk you through the process for doing so and, most likely, at least temporarily remove the charge from your bill. You will then need to send a letter detailing the dispute, and show the receipt to prove you ordered the item so that the reversal sticks. Do this ASAP.

You should also contact the attorney general and the Better Business Bureau in the state where the clothing company is located and file complaints. Besides possibly prodding the company to action, authorities should know when a company is taking consumer money and not delivering the goods.

Finally, you might also consider taking your mom's advice and mentioning the issue on social media. She's right, in a practical way. Many companies monitor their mentions online and will reach out to you privately to try to resolve an issue if you complain in a very public fashion.

But before you do all of this, contact the company in question one more time and tell it you plan to take these actions if it will not issue you a refund or a new item. Most companies don't want the black mark on their record, and will often fold when they realize you are a consumer who knows your legal rights, and you don't plan to give up.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)

life

Putting Unused Gift Cards to Good Use

Life and Money With Helaine by by Helaine Olen
by Helaine Olen
Life and Money With Helaine | December 24th, 2019

Hi, Helaine: For a recent significant birthday, I received a number of gift cards as presents, but I didn't use most of them. They are collecting dust in my wallet. Now that it's the holiday season, am I allowed to regift the cards, as long as I make sure not to give them back to the person who gave them to me? Or do I buckle down and find something to buy with them? -- Not a Proud Cardholder

Dear Not a Proud Cardholder: Years ago, we were told it was tacky to purchase a gift card in lieu of a gift for any reason, unless we knew for a 100% fact that the place was the recipient's favorite store or restaurant. Those days are behind us. Most of us will buy a gift card for someone at least occasionally. We do it because we are pressed for time, or because we don't want to buy something someone might not want. If we turn to a gift card to deliver just the right gift, we think we are expressing a kind thought while at the same time ensuring the recipient will get something they want.

It's also true gift cards are marketed incessantly -- and there's a rather obvious reason for that. It's easy money for a retailer or restaurateur or other service provider: An estimated 5% of the money put on gift cards will never be spent. Federal law also permits companies to charge fees on an unused balance after a year -- something some, but not all, states ban. Finally, research shows that people using gift cards will spend more than people using their own money.

I would hate to see these cards go to waste. There is a compromise position here: Use the card to buy gifts for your friends, and then wrap them up. That might just be the win-win you are looking for. You could also sell the cards online -- there are a number of sites that permit you to do just that.

But if you don't like either of these options, you can regift the cards. Make sure to check the balance remaining on the cards before regifting them. It would be rather embarrassing to discover you thought you were giving out a $25 card, but your friend got $23.01 because a company charged a $1.99 fee on it. You can easily do that by calling the phone number on the back of the card.

(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)

(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)

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