DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my second husband for more than 15 years. My 30+-year-old son from my first marriage, who was born disabled, lives with us. He walks and talks, but cannot be left unattended. He also needs medication. He cannot read or write, but looks like he has no medical issues at all.

I have no extended family members in the state. My husband and I were invited to a family wedding. However, my disabled son was not. Bride's rule: No children allowed. I pointed out that he is older than she is. He sees this relative several times a year.

Child care is hard to find and expensive. I do not know if others tried to get the bride to change her mind. My husband attended alone while my son and I spent the evening with friends and had fun. He didn't say anything to cause a confrontation.

Please share your thoughts. I get very sad whenever family events come around and she is there. Life is different when you have a family with special needs. -- HURT IN THE EAST

DEAR HURT: I agree, life is different for families in which someone has special needs. If you haven't already, I think you have the right to express your feelings to the bride. It would be better than silently nursing a grudge and fuming when you see her.

While it would have been nice if she had included your son in the invitation, she was within her rights to invite -- or exclude -- anyone if she had concerns. Because your husband was able to represent the family while you and your son had fun elsewhere, from my perspective, everything turned out well.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend never gets off his phone -- like ever! The first thing he does in the morning is wake up and grab his phone. He was off one day last week and -- I'm not exaggerating -- he didn't put it down for 13 hours.

He plays this one particular game, and it's all he does. It's affecting our relationship, but if I say anything about it, he laughs, gets mad or ignores me. I don't know what else to do. Help! -- WOMAN VS. PHONE IN OHIO

DEAR WOMAN: Was your boyfriend always like this? If the answer is no, he may have become addicted to gaming, which, as of 2020, had become a multibillion-dollar industry. According to The Addiction Center, the "average" gamer spends six hours a week glued to his or her cellphone. That your boyfriend went on a 13-hour binge is cause for alarm. One sign of addiction is when it interferes with daily life or relationships. That he blows you off when you try to discuss it tells me he is deep in denial.

There is treatment for gaming addiction, but only if the addict is willing to admit there's a problem. Treatment may involve private counseling or, in some cases, inpatient care. However, if this is unaffordable, On-Line Gamers Anonymous (olganon.org) may be a helpful alternative. It is a 12-step program based on the principles of AA. If you go online, you will find there is a fellowship of friends and family members of gaming addicts. You might want to check it out. If you intend to continue this romance, get out of the house when he binges and do something you enjoy.

DEAR ABBY: I am a widower. I lost my wonderful wife of 35 years to heart disease eight years ago. I have had no relationships with women since then.

Recently, I had the pleasure of meeting a very nice woman, "Yvonne." She's 11 years younger and has never been married. We see each other socially and enjoy each other's company. We are both retired, have our own money and neither of us is interested in marriage.

My son and daughter, both married with children, are split in their opinions about this. My son is happy for me, but my daughter thinks Yvonne is too young for me and wonders why she never married. Some of my friends actually side with my daughter.

At our ages, I don't think an 11-year difference is a big deal. Why Yvonne stayed single is none of anyone's business. Since her mother's death, my daughter has been protective of me. Am I wrong for enjoying the company of this woman after so many years alone? -- LONELY WIDOWER IN ARIZONA

DEAR WIDOWER: No, you are not wrong. If you and Yvonne enjoy each other, you are both unencumbered and entitled to it. Eleven years is not too great an age difference. Your daughter seems to be more possessive than protective. Seeing you with a woman other than her late mother -- regardless of age -- may be what's really bothering her.

If you want to allow your friends to run your life, I can't stop you. But I see no reason why you should allow them to dampen your enjoyment if all they can find wrong with Yvonne is her age. (Could any of these "friends" be jealous or closely tied to your late wife?)

DEAR ABBY: I am the youngest of three. My brother is the eldest. Our sister died of cancer 20 years ago.

It breaks my heart that he and his wife can't seem to decide whether they like me or not. Sometimes they are warm and inviting, but for most of my life they've been cold, critical and distant. They create imaginary problems, blame me for them and then keep me on the outs until they decide to forgive and forget. I've spent many hours crying about this.

I have finally reached the point where I refuse to be hurt any longer and have chosen not to engage with them anymore. It has been nearly a year since we've had contact. My husband sympathizes with me and recognizes their behavior as odd and hurtful. However, he believes I should reach out once more because my brother is my only living sibling. I'm fearful that if I do, I'll be hurt once again. Your advice is greatly needed. -- UNDECIDED IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR UNDECIDED: Your husband is a kind and forgiving man who has not experienced the pain your brother and his wife have subjected you to with their mind games. Your brother may be your only living sibling, but it is an accident of birth. He is incapable of the kind of relationship you would like to have had with him. Having been hurt repeatedly, you are right to be fearful. You will shed fewer tears if you continue keeping your distance.

DEAR ABBY: After a bad breakup, a good friend and her husband offered me a room in their home. They have two wonderful teenagers. Then the pandemic came, and we all became infected.

What started out as a few months' plan for me to get back on my feet has lasted 14 months. I have offered to pay them some money, but they will accept only $200 to help with the groceries.

My problem is I have noticed that the husband is not very happy with my presence. I told my friend I'm ready to start looking for my own apartment, but she insists that I stay just a little longer so that I will be really stable on my own. She tells me how "I am family," and I'm not bothering anyone, and they have no complaints about me. I did not tell her what is really driving me out.

I'm really uncomfortable with his attitude toward me, and I understand that perhaps I have overstayed my welcome. My question: Should I leave and tell her I felt that I was no longer welcomed by her husband? Or should I just leave without telling her? Thanks for your input. -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN MIAMI

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Do not sneak away. Do find a place of your own. Express to your friend that she has been a saint to allow you to live with them during this extended period, but it is clear the time has come for you to go. Tell her you will not only be fine but forever in their debt for their kindness to you.

P.S. As soon as it is feasible -- not before -- give them a nice gift for their home.

DEAR ABBY: I recently have been dating a neighbor woman who is a cat lover. I assume she owns many of them. (I haven't yet been inside her apartment.) My problem is, when she comes over to my place, the odor of cat urine is overpowering. How do I disclose that I'm disgusted by this cat smell without hurting her feelings or offending her? -- HOLDING MY NOSE IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR HOLDING: You have to say something. While the odor of cat urine may be attractive to other cats, it has also been known to act as people repellant.

Start slow. Lead into the subject by asking her how many felines she owns. When she answers, ask if they are all OK. Regardless of her response, explain that you are asking because one (or more) of her pets may be spraying her furniture or her clothing, and it has left an odor. This will give her the opportunity to rectify the problem. However, if she finds the truth offensive, so be it, because the relationship would not have worked out anyway.

DEAR READERS: I wish a very happy Mother's Day to mothers everywhere -- birth mothers, adoptive and foster mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers who are raising their grandchildren and dual-role dads. Orchids to all of you for the love you give not only today, but each and every day. -- LOVE, ABBY