DEAR ABBY: My daughter got married in a friend's backyard three months ago. Her husband built an arch for the ceremony. He spent $285 on some very nice walnut, and they planned to keep it forever.

With my daughter's consent, my wife loaned it to a niece of hers. The arch was broken and thrown out. We found this out only after weeks of requesting that we get it back. They have offered to pay the $285, but without even a "sorry."

My daughter is extremely angry at my wife and the niece and her husband. I need words to console my wife and daughter. This has caused a deep emotional schism in our family. -- WEDDING MESS IN ARIZONA

DEAR MESS: It is time to talk to your daughter about priorities. Because of her deep emotional attachment to the arch her now-husband created for their wedding, her anger and hurt are justifiable.

That the niece and her husband not only damaged it but threw it away like a piece of garbage was terrible. That they not only didn't apologize, but also failed to recognize the sentimental value of the arch is shocking. (At least they offered to reimburse the cost of the wood.) However, for your daughter to blame your wife for the niece's carelessness is wrong.

It takes strength of character to forgive. This does not mean your daughter must forget what happened and how poorly it was handled. In the uncertain times we are experiencing, relationships and family unity are primary. I hope that, with time, your daughter and her husband will realize this and repair the rift while recognizing the niece's shortcomings in the future. ("Neither a borrower nor a lender be ...")

DEAR ABBY: At the end of last year, I sat down with my parents hoping that maybe we could approach the new year with a fresh start. One short month into the new year, my mother is back at it again, ridiculing me and making me feel like no matter what I do, it will never be good enough for her.

I have reached the end of my rope. I'm tired of dealing with the constant cycle of emotional abuse. I have overcome much in my life, and I'm proud of myself for it. During times when I struggle, I reflect on how much. I keep pushing myself forward, but at this point, I'm just tired.

I have considered distancing myself, but the recent loss of my grandfather hit me hard. I have been leaning on my family to keep myself going, so I'm in a pickle. -- HURT, STUNNED AND TIRED IN NEW YORK

DEAR H.S.T: You may never be able to have what you want from your mother, not because there is something wrong with you, but because she has proven herself incapable of being supportive.

For understanding and the emotional support you are seeking, consider contacting your clergyperson (if you have one) or the officiant at your grandfather's funeral and asking about joining a grief support group. If you do, you may find the support you need while at the same time keeping safely at a distance from your mother.

DEAR ABBY: On Sept. 14, 2017, you printed my letter about my ex-husband "borrowing" money from my 13-year-old son's piggy bank. Soon after, you reached out to tell me a gentleman (the founder of an organization that helps people who have been wronged) wanted to send my son twice the amount of money that had been taken from him. My son was humbled, to say the least. Not only did that gesture restore my son's faith in people, but he gained from it a friend who made a lasting impression.

Bill, the man who helped my son, told my son his own father took money from him when he was younger, which forced him to drop out of college. However, Bill didn't let that stop him from becoming a success in life. Decades later, he retired a wealthy man. In retirement, he started a philanthropic foundation and turned his own "adversity into opportunity" by reaching out to others less fortunate to make a difference.

We were devastated to learn recently of Bill's unexpected passing from a stroke. Our hearts are broken, but my son's is forever changed and filled with gratitude for having known Bill, even if only for a short time.

Abby, thank you for printing my letter three years ago. Without it, none of this would have been possible. We would also like to extend our sincere condolences to Bill's wife and family. His kind soul touched my son so deeply that his spirit will continue to live on. -- HOPING TO PAY IT FORWARD

DEAR HOPING: What a beautiful tribute to a man whose life was well-lived. I hope his family sees your letter. I have often said that Dear Abby readers are the most generous in the world. Bill was an example of that, and I am sure he will be greatly missed. I would like to extend my condolences to his grieving family along with your own.

DEAR ABBY: I'm one of those sad, stupid women who hang onto dreams of being with the man I love. I will be 70 next year, and I have spent more than 20 years waiting first for his children to grow up, then for the company to grow, etc. It never ends. How I got into this mindset, I can't explain.

It's too late for me, but I want to pass this on to younger women: Get a life. Expand your horizons. Go to school. Be yourselves. Make yourself happy. Dreams are dreams; life is reality. I'm not asking you for advice, Abby, because I now see the light. -- FINALLY KNOWS IN ILLINOIS

DEAR FINALLY KNOWS: Please don't call yourself names. You have learned a valuable lesson, and thank you for wanting to share it. What you wrote is true, and I hope it will provide inspiration to the women to whom you are addressing your message. And one more thing: It is NOT necessarily "too late" for you. Your life isn't over, and if my life is any example, you never know where the road will lead you.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a gay man in my late 40s, partnered with a man in his late 50s. There are a lot of issues from my past that I try hard to move beyond and let go of. I was wrongly accused and convicted of a crime I didn't commit, for which I was sentenced to life in prison.

I sat in prison seven years before I was able to prove my innocence and regain my freedom. Even then, I was forced to accept certain requirements to keep my freedom, regardless of being proven innocent. Unfortunately, I'm finding it difficult because my partner keeps sharing my story with people who are complete strangers to me. When they meet me, the first words out of their mouths are things like: "You poor man, I'm so sorry," or "Wow, I can't believe you went through that," and "Man, you must be a strong person to have gotten through that."

How do I move past this, if he keeps telling people a story that is NOT his to tell, but mine to disclose if I choose to do so? The shame and embarrassment of facing this trauma of my past on a regular basis isn't healthy for me. How can I get him to understand that he needs to stop doing it?

I'm afraid to say anything to him about it. He dismisses my feelings most of the time when I bring up things he does that upset me.

I love this man with all of my heart. He was one of only two people who stood by me during my trauma and made it possible to prove my innocence. He was also my "first." My love for him has only grown over the years, but this issue of my story being revealed has to stop. -- FRUSTRATED IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR FRUSTRATED: You not only have to speak up, but you also have to be heard. That your much older partner dismisses your feelings is controlling and condescending. He has no right to disclose very personal information about you with strangers.

You wrote that this is your first relationship. If this continues, it may not be your last. Present it to your partner in exactly these terms. Couples counseling may save your relationship, but only if the balance of power is adjusted.

DEAR ABBY: I was friends with my guy before getting into a relationship with him seven years ago. The problem is, I feel like we are not growing. He is still living with his mom, we have no plans for the future, etc.

At least once a year, I ask him how he views our relationship, but I only get the same response that things are fine the way they are. I have now started back in college while maintaining a full-time job, but I'm so frustrated I feel like giving up on the relationship and moving on. I'm actually stuck between a breakup and keeping a friendship. Any advice? -- UNCERTAIN IN ALABAMA

DEAR UNCERTAIN: Of course your "guy" thinks things are fine the way they are. They are -- for him. I'm delighted you decided to return to college and get your degree. By doing so, you are taking control of your life, which is moving in the right direction.

Please understand that you may not only outgrow the relationship, but also this young man. By all means, keep him as a friend if you can. Be a role model if he's able to learn from your example, but continue to broaden your horizons.