DEAR ABBY: I'm someone who doesn't get noticed often by the opposite sex. So when I do receive attention, it's a very nice feeling. The problem is, I am getting that attention from a man who is married.
In the beginning, I didn't know he was married. He doesn't wear a ring, and he never mentioned a wife until one day while we were chatting, he let it slip. I don't think he meant for it to happen.
When someone is married, I back off. But for some reason, I'm not backing away from this. I'm starting to have feelings for him. I'm leaving it up to him, though. If he flirts, I'll flirt back. When he comes on strong one day, the next day he feels guilty and backs off, but then we pick up right where we left off.
I'm not trying to paint him as the bad guy; he's honestly a really good guy -- in my opinion, anyway. I know it's wrong, and he hasn't promised anything. We haven't had any physical contact other than the daily interaction. But it's messing with my emotions. I don't want to feel anything for him, but I can't help it. Help! -- DAZED & CONFUSED
DEAR DAZED & CONFUSED: You may not want to feel anything for this married man, but you do. And because you "don't get noticed much by the opposite sex," the attention you're receiving is like water on a parched flower. (Funny how they always seem to pick the vulnerable ones.)
You may not have had physical contact with him (yet), but you are playing with fire. This is no longer an "innocent" flirtation. Someone will get hurt if it continues, and that person is likely to be you. Keep in mind that "good guys" don't behave the way he does, and this wouldn't have happened if he had been honest with you about his marital status.