DEAR ABBY: I raised my kids right as a single mom. I took pride in supporting them and giving them what they needed and wanted.

I have a daughter who lives out of town with her husband and children. I don't get to see them often, so I love buying them gifts that are waiting for them when they get here. For the kids' birthdays and holidays, I always have nice gifts for them, too.

For the past few years, my daughter has refused to take any of the gifts home with her, so the toys sit in my spare rooms. She smirks and laughs when someone says something about leaving behind the gifts I buy. She and her husband stay at my house when they visit, so the kids play with their toys then.

I'm hurt by her lack of appreciation and have decided to stop buying anything for the kids on holidays or birthdays. I don't enjoy giving monetary gifts. I want to see the kids' faces when they open a present and play with it. Would it be wrong for me to just stop buying gifts? -- GENEROUS GRANNY IN OHIO

DEAR GENEROUS GRANNY: This is something you should discuss with your daughter. Could it be that your grandchildren have so many toys at home that there isn't room for more?

I'm not sure why your daughter would "smirk and laugh" when "someone" mentions the gifts left behind when your family leaves. That kind of behavior is rude. But I don't think children should be punished for something their parent does. To deny them gifts on birthdays and Christmas because of it would be petulant and a mistake.

DEAR ABBY: My mother is close to death. I haven't had contact with her in 30 years. While we were growing up and even into adulthood, she was incredibly abusive, neglectful and manipulative. She didn't provide the basic needs of food and clothing for us. She prioritized her boyfriend over us kids and engaged in crazy behavior. She would chase us with knives, walk around naked and expect us to accompany her to throw garbage on her boyfriend's car.

I'm not a bad person. I don't wish any harm on her, but she's not part of my life for a reason. As she approaches death, how do I deal with this? No one should die alone. None of my siblings want anything to do with her, either. What do I even say? -- POST-TRAUMATIC IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR POST-TRAUMATIC: What do you even say ... to whom? To the person who informed you that your mother has little time left? To your mother if you choose to be with her? Are you sure your mother wants you there?

Because you asked for my advice, I am suggesting that you may have fewer regrets -- and less anger, righteous as it may be -- if you are with her at the end. You don't have to say anything more than, "Mom, I'm here for you," if you don't wish to. From your description of her, your mother may have had serious emotional problems for much of her life. Please allow me to offer my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: I've known my friend "Ashley" for a lot of years. She is single. Several years ago, I introduced her to another couple, the "Smiths." We all have a lot in common and take turns inviting each other for dinner. This group and a couple of other couples are the only people in my social circle I have seen periodically during this pandemic.

Two weeks ago, Ashley invited my husband and me and the Smiths for dinner. Three days before the dinner, Ashley sent me a text that the Smiths will be bringing another couple, and she wanted to be sure it was OK with us. I called her immediately and told her that with the spike in COVID cases, I wasn't comfortable having a close dinner with a couple who wasn't in my social circle. She said she was "sorry," meaning if I didn't like it, my husband and I could stay home.

I'm extremely hurt and angry and am losing sleep over this. I feel Ashley should have asked us before adding this other couple to our dinner. I feel like sending her a letter saying that no friend should treat another friend like this, that I guess she's not really a friend and end the relationship. My husband is stopping me from sending such a letter. Am I overreacting? -- ANGRY IN OREGON

DEAR ANGRY: Yes, you are. You have blown this out of proportion. Be glad you have a husband who advised you as he did. Ashley did the right thing by telling you the guest list for the dinner had grown so you could opt out if you wished. Because she was the host, she was not obligated to ask permission to include the extras.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a truck driver who is on the road for weeks at a time. My girlfriend got a new job and is working every day. On the weekends she goes out to bars.

I feel jealous because I'm working and even when I can get a weekend to be with her, she doesn't want to be intimate. Also she promises to call me but rarely does. Should I just end it? I've been married twice and thought we would be a couple and marry. I don't know what I should do. -- ON THE ROAD

DEAR ON THE ROAD: Allow me to steer you in the right direction. You are apart from this woman weeks at a time, and when you do manage to be together, she isn't interested in intimacy. After promising to stay in closer touch with you, she fails to follow through. This should tell you that when you're out of sight, you're not on her mind.

Take the hint. End the "romance" -- what little there is of it. Then thank your lucky stars she isn't your wife, and you're not heading to divorce court for a third time.

DEAR ABBY: I am a stepgrandma whose 4-year-old grandson desperately needs a haircut. Is it OK for Santa to get him a gift card for a haircut? -- CLEAN CUT IN FLORIDA

DEAR CLEAN CUT: The child's parents may like their son's hair the way it is. If the reason they are leaving it long is financial, a gift card might be appreciated. However, if that's not the case, your gesture would be interpreted as judgmental, and it would not be appreciated.

DEAR ABBY: My nephew "Dave" recently took a DNA test and discovered that my brother and I have a different father than our other two siblings.

I have lived my entire life with the understanding that my family is my family. Now Dave, who has an obsession with genealogy, has my brother and me listed as "half-siblings." I am not a half-anything, and while DNA could be used to prove my father is not my father, I have no intention of testing my own DNA or contesting my parentage.

Maybe I'm out of line, but I want the "half" designation removed from our family profile. I'm hoping you can give me a reality check. Am I blowing this out of proportion, or do you think it would be appropriate to ask him to remove the designation? -- WHOLE, NOT HALF IN INDIANA

DEAR WHOLE: I understand why you are upset. However, you seem to have interpreted this as a personal insult or a value judgment on Dave's part. It isn't. This has nothing to do with the way you and your brother were raised; of course your family is your family. But genetically, you and your brother are different from the other two siblings, which is why I don't think it would be appropriate to ask your nephew to remove the designation.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 55, and my sister is 50. She has always been mean and hateful toward me. Even though I have done my best to keep her from going off the deep end, she has always struck back at me even meaner. She is schizophrenic, paranoid and bipolar.

Despite my making her my maid of honor at my wedding (Mom forced me) and making her godmother at my child's baptism, she has continued to be a beyond-evil demon because I didn't do some things right, according to her. She has tried hard to turn my 19-year-old daughter against me and slams me for being a grandma to my grandchild. (She can't have kids.) Family has always let her slide due to her mental illness. Please advise. -- BEATEN DOWN IN MISSOURI

DEAR BEATEN DOWN: Your sister is a sick woman. If your daughter doesn't understand that, make it clear to her. I don't know how much input you have in your grandchild's upbringing, but if there is any truth to what has been said, it may be time to use a lighter touch if you are being perceived as heavy-handed.

By letting your sister's behavior "slide due to her mental illness," the rest of your family has contributed to the person she has become. However, this does not mean you must be involved with her, and if you are smart, you will start to disengage.

DEAR ABBY: I am surprised I see so many nurses wearing their scrubs in the supermarket. To me, if they are coming from the hospital, their clothes will have germs on them, and if they are going to the hospital, they could bring germs with them. What do you say? -- VINNIE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR VINNIE: Many people in the medical field choose to wear scrubs because they are convenient. Whether these individuals are actually nurses is anybody's guess. They could be office staff, technicians, etc. and not necessarily exposing the public or patients to germs they wouldn't otherwise encounter.