DEAR ABBY: My husband of nearly 22 years and I divorced last year after he told me he didn't want to be married anymore and didn't know if he ever loved me. Since our split, he has bought a home with another woman -- the same woman I suspected him of having an affair with, and the same woman he encouraged me to befriend during our marriage. (I even took her on a trip to Europe.)

Our son is graduating from high school. We are planning a belated, socially distanced graduation party for my son, and my ex wants to bring her. My challenge is that I am with someone new as well, but he is someone who came into my life a couple of months after my ex and I separated. I want him to be at the party, but I don't want her there. I feel our circumstances are quite different.

My son is my priority, so I am leaning toward asking my new significant other not to attend, and then asking that she not attend either. I'm still hurt by their actions. What is the protocol here, and what should I do? -- PROUD MOM MOVING ON

DEAR MOM: I understand your hurt feelings, but, as you wrote, the party is a celebration of your son's achievement and nothing else. If things turn out as it appears they will, your ex may marry this woman, and she would be to some extent in your life when your son marries, starts a family, etc. (Sorry!)

The saving grace through all of this is you have a new partner in your life who can help buffer you. Fortunately, you will be social distancing, so you won't have to spend much time in her space. While you don't have to welcome this woman with open arms, please observe the social niceties and devote the majority of your time to mingling with the other guests.

DEAR ABBY: I met a man many years ago. Shortly afterward, my husband passed away. I was in a tough spot, and this man came to my rescue. He offered me a place to live, but I refused. After a few months, I started receiving love letters from him. I carefully answered them, telling him I had gotten involved with someone else, but if it didn't work out, I might consider dating him.

After about a month, he began showing up at my house. By then I was living with my new man, "Roger." I explained I was in love and he should leave, but he still showed up at my house every couple of months.

I was with Roger for 11 years, but after a battle with heart problems, he died. This man showed up while Roger was in a coma. I told him with much anger several times to please stop coming to my house.

Two days after Roger's death, he again showed up. He asked if it was OK to take me on a date now, and I lost it. I ordered him to never come to my door again and told him I would never date him. He has started sending me love letters again. I don't answer them. He still calls or sends angry letters and still comes by asking if I would like to go on a date. Help! -- FED UP IN WASHINGTON

DEAR FED UP: If you have a lawyer, have him/her write the man a formal letter telling him you have tried to politely discourage his attentions and that if he persists in harassing you, he will be reported to the police as a stalker. Then follow through by filing a report with the authorities.

P.S. If your home is not equipped with a security system, consider installing one. He is creepy.

DEAR ABBY: I recently lost my mom. It was very sudden. We were extremely close, and she was the most wonderful grandmother to my children. My mother-in-law and my husband have a strained relationship that I have struggled to navigate for years. I have always reached out to her and made sure she sees the grandchildren.

I have been a little "lost" since my mom's death, and so have my children. I had hoped my MIL would step up and step in, but it just didn't happen. I am disappointed and sad for my children, and the situation seems to be getting worse. When I try to talk to my husband about it, his reply is, "I'm not close to my mom like you were with yours."

What should I do? Do I keep reaching out and being angry on the inside, or speak up and say something? I should add that my husband and his mom are now at the point where they barely talk on the phone. I hate to be negative, but I feel very done with the childish behavior! My children need a grandma. -- ANNOYED UP NORTH

DEAR ANNOYED: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your sweet mother. That you and your children feel her absence so acutely is a testament to how special she was.

Unfortunately, you married someone who doesn't have the kind of relationship you were lucky enough to have with your mom. All moms and grandmothers are not created equal. Your MIL appears to be incapable of stepping up to the plate.

Rather than continue reaching out to her with expectations, you might be less angry and frustrated if you do it less often without cutting her completely off. Instead, look around and consider "adopting" a mentor for yourself who can also become a grandmother figure for your children. This isn't unheard of. A government-sponsored program, Foster Grandparents, provides a way for volunteers 55 and over to stay active by serving children and youth in their communities. To find out more, go to nationalservice.gov and click on "Senior Corps." Love is a gift that keeps on giving, and it works both ways.

DEAR ABBY: A while ago, my wife and I were leaving the grocery store. I was wearing my baseball cap with a U.S. Navy logo embroidered on it. As we passed the table where the Brownies were selling Girl Scout cookies, I politely told them "not today" and proceeded to cross to the parking lot. The woman who was supervising the girls approached and asked if she could talk to me. When I turned around, she said, "We would like to donate a box of cookies to you and your wife in honor of your service to our country." Abby, I was so touched. I thought my heart would burst when one of the little scouts asked if I would take a picture with her.

I share this so others will know what it means for a veteran to be acknowledged by someone saying, "Thank you for your service." -- NAVY VETERAN IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR VETERAN: What a sweet letter. Not only was the acknowledgement gratifying, but I'm sure those cookies were delicious. Although not every veteran feels the same way about being thanked as you do, I'm sure the majority do. Thank you for pointing it out to my readers.

DEAR ABBY: I have a daughter-in-law I love to pieces and would never intentionally hurt in any way. I recently had contact with my son's ex-girlfriend, "Kayley." She had seen me at church with them, contacted me and came by our house for a visit.

She and my son were very young when they dated (high school) and haven't spoken to each other in years. I stayed in contact with her off and on over the years because I always thought a lot of her. Both of them have married others and created their own lives.

Our son and his wife live next door to us and were out of town the day Kayley stopped by, but returned before she left. My son chewed me out, and now my daughter-in-law won't speak to me. I tried to talk to her and would apologize if I had the chance, but she sent me a text saying I had crossed a line and how inconsiderate it was of me having Kayley drop by. She said it made her feel small and uncomfortable (they only saw her from a distance and didn't even know who it was at first).

Was I wrong for staying in contact with my son's high school ex-girlfriend? Was I wrong for inviting her to come by? What's the best way to handle this because I want to keep peace in our family? -- MONSTER-IN-LAW IN TEXAS

DEAR M.I.L.: You weren't wrong to stay in touch with someone you liked. And you should be free to entertain anyone you like in your home. It strikes me as sad that your daughter-in-law would react the way she has. It shows how deeply insecure she is.

Because you want to keep peace in the family, refrain from having Kayley over, and see her elsewhere. And if she asks you why, explain that it made your daughter-in-law uncomfortable.

DEAR ABBY: Years ago, my wife and I decided together that I would work and she would raise the kids. Well, times and the economy have changed. We need a second income. Even a part-time retail job would help tremendously right now. I have made countless sacrifices to keep our home and lifestyle afloat. All the while she refuses to pursue anything except what she believes to be "her purpose" or what represents her "best self."

What about me? My health? Our home? Our children and their education? How about a job that she might not be crazy about for a decent paycheck so we can save a little and not have to worry about how much our prescription costs are? My resentment is growing. I work 60 hours a week and gave up a career I loved. Am I asking too much? -- RESENTFUL IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR RESENTFUL: No, you are not asking too much. Times have indeed changed, and your wife needs to wake up and accept that her dream job may have to be postponed because of circumstances beyond her (and your) control. Successful marriages are partnerships, and because being the sole wage earner has become so stressful that you would write to me about it, it's time your wife took her head out of the clouds and faced reality. If a second income will take some of the stress off your shoulders, she needs to step forward for the sake of you and the children.

DEAR READERS: Have a very happy and healthy Fourth of July, everyone. And please, be safe! -- LOVE, ABBY