DEAR ABBY: I'm in my mid-30s and have just been married for the first time. I chose not to take my husband's last name for several reasons. I have a child from a previous relationship who shares my name; I have a unique name that I love; and I am established in a career in which name recognition is important. I am also an older bride. Unfortunately, I didn't discuss it with my husband before the wedding, although I did explain my reasoning later.

We participate in a lot of activities as a couple where our names are written out, and people often ask me why I have a different last name. My husband is really bothered by it and hates when people bring it up. I want to make him happy and make these situations less uncomfortable, but I refuse to change it. Am I being unreasonable? How do I approach these awkward situations? Should I take his name in social situations but just not legally? -- LOVING MY NAME IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR LOVING: Many women these days have more than one identity and more than one name. If you are asked in a social situation why you didn't adopt your husband's name, an appropriate response would be that you are established in your career and felt changing it would be disruptive. However, I see nothing wrong with allowing yourself to be identified as "Janie Smith" ("Howard Smith's" wife) on invitations, place cards, etc. if you're OK with that. While most men these days would not be bothered by the fact that you have different names, it may make your husband feel better, and you might even come to like it.

DEAR ABBY: My wife of 15 years and I have been separated for 2 1/2 years. I'm still hoping to reconcile, and I haven't moved on. Although I'm somewhat happy being in our home with my children, and recently our very first puppy, I often get lonely. How do I know, for my own good, if this is one of the doors that's been permanently closed? -- HOLDING ON IN VIRGINIA

DEAR HOLDING ON: One clue would be what your wife has been doing since your separation. Because the children live with you, she has fewer childcare responsibilities. Is she dating? Deeply involved with her career? Does she ask you for advice, money, anything? If the answer to this question is no, then it's a safe bet that she is not interested in reconciling, and it's time you move on with your life. Counseling might help you to do that if you are "stuck."

DEAR ABBY: If you get time to read this, I need some advice about my fiance. We have been engaged for two years, and I recently found out that when he dies, he is leaving everything to his friend if his mom is no longer living.

I gave up my place and moved an hour and a half from my job to live with him. Should I be upset over this? -- LEFT WITH NOTHING

DEAR LEFT WITH NOTHING: Your letter is a classic example of why it's important that people review their wills periodically. Your fiance's will may have been made before you entered the picture. It's important that you have a calm and rational discussion about it. If you are still concerned after that, then you probably should be.

DEAR ABBY: My former husband had an affair years ago, and when our divorce was final, he married the woman he was involved with. I'll call her "Libby."

Although I have moved on, it bothers me when she refers to my children as "her children." I have asked her to stop, but she continues to talk about "her daughter" and "her son" and insists it's a term of endearment and it shouldn't bother me. My children don't like Libby, so if she's trying to get the world to believe they're one big happy family, it isn't working.

I think it's rude of her to insist on telling people that these are her children. It's as if Libby not only took my husband, but she's also claiming to be the mother of my children. How should I handle this wretched person who refuses to get it? -- REAL MOM IN KENTUCKY

DEAR MOM: Libby gets it, and she may persist in doing it in order to get your goat. But this is not a battle you should pick. It's possible "Stepmom" may simply be trying to acknowledge her role in the parenting equation.

DEAR ABBY: Is it appropriate to confront someone in a restroom about not washing their hands, whether at work or in public? I noticed at work that some of my co-workers walk right past the sink or rinse their hands with water for a second and then leave. I think washing your hands thoroughly with soap is more important now than ever, and not washing hands is a health hazard. -- WATCHING THE WASHING IN TEXAS

DEAR WATCHING: You are right. It is a health hazard. Everyone should realize that fact in light of the current health crisis. According to the Mayo Clinic, unwashed hands are spreaders of disease, which is why medical personnel and workers in the food industry are urged to be diligent about it.

That said, I don't think it would be prudent for you to assume the parental role and remind your co-workers to wash their hands after using the bathroom. You might, however, suggest to your boss, once people are no longer working remotely, that it would be wise to issue a memo about the importance of frequent hand-washing.

DEAR ABBY: My sister, "Camille," and I have almost nothing in common. She lives far from where I do. We have seen each other infrequently over the years, but when we have, she has always dropped a nasty comment or two, ridiculing me or my husband or our lifestyle.

She recently took early retirement and wants to come for a visit. Another sister says Camille is much more relaxed now because working full-time was very stressful for her. I gave up on a relationship with her long ago, and I have no desire to see or entertain her. We didn't even like each other as children. Yet, I'm feeling guilty about saying no to her visit. Is it OK to draw the line on contact with a family member? -- LEAVE ME ALONE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR LEAVE: Yes, it is. And it is also OK to tell her exactly why.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a little over five months. We have enjoyed spending time with each other, but we never have deep, meaningful conversations, and I feel that it's negatively impacting our relationship.

Because of the coronavirus quarantine, we can't see each other because we are still in our teens and don't live together. If we don't start having conversations that mean something to either of us over the phone, I'm afraid we'll break up before we are allowed to see each other again. Please give me some advice. -- STUCK IN QUARANTINE

DEAR STUCK: You may be worrying needlessly. Stop for a moment and ask yourself what kind of conversations you had with your boyfriend before the pandemic. How deep were they?

Express how you have been feeling lately, but, if you can, try to keep your conversations upbeat. Share stories and videos with him that make you laugh. If he wants to discuss his concerns, be prepared to listen, but don't push him in that direction. Space your calls so there will be something fresh to talk about. And always end your chats by telling how much you care about him, which will probably make him smile.

DEAR ABBY: I have several adult nieces and nephews whose dysfunctional upbringing makes them react in a very hostile and aggressive manner to anyone they perceive as disagreeing with them. They verbally abuse anyone they view as opposing them. They have so alienated their parent's new spouse that they are no longer welcome in that parent's home at any time, for any reason.

I would like to remain on semi-friendly terms with them, but I am unwilling to accept their verbal abuse. Is there any way this can be fixed? -- DISTANCING IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR DISTANCING: Unless your nieces and nephews are willing to accept that they have anger management issues that need addressing, this isn't a problem that anyone other than a licensed professional can fix. If one of them unleashes a tirade on you, calmly point out that you prefer not to be abused and end the conversation by absenting yourself. Do it once, and I guarantee the word will spread.

DEAR ABBY: I'm at my wits' end. I love my husband, but when we have company, he dominates the conversation, usually repeating the same stories over and over. If friends and family tell him they've heard the story before, he just ignores the remark and continues.

He is retired, and I realize he doesn't socialize enough. His health has not been the best. By the end of the evening, I am worn out. What can I do? -- PAIN IN HOSTING

DEAR PAIN: That your husband is retired and isolated may contribute to his problem. As soon as it's feasible, encourage him to get out of the house and involve himself in some new activities where he can put his talents and experience to good use. However, if his repetitiveness is new behavior, this should be discussed with his doctor so he can be evaluated, because it could indicate the onset of a medical or neurological problem.