DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for a while. He is the kindest, most considerate and thoughtful man I've ever dated.

We do not officially live together but spend the majority of the week together, mostly at his house. He has three very large dogs we share the responsibility of caring for. They are not fixed, and he wants to have a litter of puppies (one of which he would keep). I strongly object for numerous reasons.

He has people willing to give them good homes, but the female (whom I am very attached to) had severe postpartum for more than a year after her last litter. His house is currently in the midst of an endless renovation, the dogs are always on the furniture, and it's a constant struggle to keep the place relatively clean from one day to the next, especially since I must also take care of my own house.

I'm a dog person, but three large dogs are already too much. I love the man, he is my best friend, and I love his dogs. But I'm getting to the point where if he decides to have another litter and take on the responsibility of another dog, it may be the breaking point for me. Would it be foolish of me to throw away a good relationship over this? -- GOING TO THE DOGS IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR GOING: I don't think so. If he is truly kind, considerate and thoughtful, he will take into consideration that you are handling as much responsibility as you can shoulder and not insist on yet another litter. Because the last pregnancy was so hard on the female, it would be interesting to know what a veterinarian has to say about this. I'm wondering if your boyfriend may want to put her though this for money rather than love.

DEAR ABBY: My father passed away a little over a year ago. Since then, I have started spending more time with my mother, and my husband does not like it. She is a huge help with our kids. On the day she gets them off the school bus, she will stay for dinner. Our kids love it when she's here.

My husband now wants this to stop. He says it annoys him. He gets angry when I talk to her on the phone, when I go to her house, when I help her with things -- everything!

I am torn. I love my mother and don't want my relationship with her to change. But every time I do anything with her, even have a quick conversation, my husband throws it in my face that I "put her before him." Please help me. I am not sure how much more of this I can take. -- STUCK IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR STUCK: How often is your mother at your house, and how long does she stay after those dinners? How often did you interact with her before your father died? Have you been ignoring your husband in favor of interacting with your mom?

That he feels so encroached upon or threatened that he's determined to alienate you from your widowed mother and is dictating how often you can visit or talk with her on the phone tells me he may be an extremely jealous and controlling person. This is such a red flag you should discuss it with a licensed marriage and family therapist. If he won't agree to go with you, I urge you to go without him. You should also encourage your mom to branch out into other activities, so she can reduce the amount of time she's with you.

DEAR ABBY: After being together for a year, my boyfriend and I recently moved in together. Since then he hasn't been home much. We don't spend time together the way we used to when we first started dating. He has changed a lot.

I have kids from a previous relationship. My boyfriend recently told me he always wanted to be the first guy to give a girl her first child. I just want to know if I should let him go or try to fight for him because I'm in love with him. -- SECOND THOUGHTS IN CHICAGO

DEAR SECOND THOUGHTS: Your boyfriend knew you had children when he began dating you. I think it is time the two of you have another conversation about what he told you, because he may have been rehearsing his exit speech. Life rarely turns out the way we fantasize that it will. If he is considering ending your relationship in order to "give a girl her first child," the sooner you know about it, the better -- for you.

DEAR ABBY: My mother and father have been divorced for eight years. Since then, she has found a younger guy who is about eight years older than I am. I'm 23.

The age difference always bothered me, but what bothers me even more is she's always doing for him and he gives her nothing in return. Since day one I have been convinced he's using her for shelter and food. However, she can't seem to recognize it. I don't know what to do, Abby. I'm just tired of my mom being used by men. -- DAUGHTER IN DELAWARE

DEAR DAUGHTER: I appreciate your concerns about your mother, but until she's ready to admit to herself that what's happening is part of an ongoing pattern, nothing will change. She is doing this for a reason -- or more than one. Her self-esteem may be so low she doesn't believe she deserves better, she may be so desperate to have a man in her life that she's willing to literally pay the price, or she may believe having a man so much younger is a trophy.

You cannot live your mother's life for her, but you can learn from it. Concentrate on making the best life you can for yourself. If you do, those efforts will be well spent.

DEAR ABBY: I did something really selfish and stupid. I got involved with a married man, and it lasted several years. When his wife found out, everything blew up. She wrote me a letter saying she needed closure and to let me know how I destroyed her self-esteem. She questioned my morals and berated me for my actions.

I deeply regret what I did, and I am filled with remorse. I want her to know how sorry I am, and I have written a response to her letter. I did it partly because I needed to put my feelings down in words and to express my sadness for all the pain I caused.

I am sure she never wants to hear from me again, but I need to apologize and let her know I'll regret what I did for the rest of my life. Should I send it? -- FULL OF SADNESS AND REMORSE

DEAR FULL: I think you have done enough already. Because you are sure the woman never wants to hear from you again, don't send it. While she deserves an apology for your part in her husband's infidelity, I seriously doubt it will lessen her pain, even as it eases your guilt.

DEAR ABBY: My son just got a job in Europe and has invited me to visit when he and his family are settled. I have never traveled out of the country, and I'm excited to go. I suggested staying at least a month, and he and his wife agreed.

When I told my sister, she excitedly told me she'd like to come along. We would be very happy to have this time together because she lives across the country, and we don't see each other often.

We are in good health, but her husband has many health issues. He falls a lot and has had concussions while using his walker. He coughs almost constantly, uses CPAP at night, takes multiple medications throughout the day and needs to stop often to rest and catch his breath. He also needs frequent naps.

We are all around 70, and Sis and I want to go while we are still in good health. She has not told Hubby about the monthlong trip to Europe because she knows he will want to come. He would not be alone at home. Their two adult children and four grandchildren live in their large home and can assist him with food, doctor appointments, etc. We also have a brother who takes him out once a week.

I'm thinking the best way of letting him know the trip is out for him would be to have his doctor explain why it's not advisable. Any other suggestions would be most appreciated. -- EUROPE-BOUND

DEAR EUROPE-BOUND: If your sister truly plans to take a monthlong trip to Europe while her husband has one foot on a banana peel, then she should be the one to break the news to him. If she needs backup, I'm sure the doctor can explain to him why it would be too risky for him to tag along.

My questions would be, how do your son and his wife feel about you bringing along an extra guest (guests?) for a month, and if something terrible should happen to your sister's husband in her absence, could she live with the guilt?

DEAR ABBY: Years ago, when I was trying to get into a professional school, I took some classes to prepare for the entrance exam. It cost my dad money to put me through the training. A few of my classmates/friends asked me to share the training material with them. Because it was expensive and I was preparing for a competitive exam, which they were also taking, I refused.

Long story short, none of us passed the exam. We moved on and have all become successful in life, but that incident haunts me all these years (decades) later. I was living outside of the U.S. for a long time, so I didn't try to get in touch with them or discuss why I behaved the way I did. I am likely to meet them in the near future, and I don't know how to handle this if it comes up. What do you think I should do? -- REMEMBERING THE EARLY DAYS

DEAR REMEMBERING: It is entirely possible that these individuals will not remember the incident. If they raise the subject, apologize and explain to them the reasons you were reluctant to share the material. If they don't mention it, then let it lie.