DEAR ABBY: Four years ago, I became friends with a co-worker and things took off too fast. Within a couple of months, I became pregnant. We were thrown together without really even knowing each other because, deep down, we wanted a family and decided to stick it out.

Well, it's been a hell of a ride. I ended up having to leave because neither one of us was happy, and it wasn't the greatest environment to raise our daughter in. I came back a few months later, and we have been trying our best to get along and be great parents for her. But our past issues with each other constantly raise their ugly heads and cause problems that make us want to split up.

I have suggested individual and couples counseling, but he isn't into it, and it's always a blame game between us. I'm beyond tired of it. My head says go, but my heart says stay. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. -- WEIGHING THE PROS AND CONS

DEAR WEIGHING: Your child's father may prefer to play the blame game because he's unwilling to own up to his part in the problem. Dragging an unwilling partner to counseling would be unproductive. However, that doesn't mean you shouldn't go without him. If you do, you will have a clearer understanding about whether and why you should continue living together. Keep in mind that a household where there is conflict is not a healthy environment for a child.

DEAR ABBY: My mother passed away a short time ago, and my cousin immediately posted about the funeral on social media without even mentioning me in her post, or asking me how I felt about such a posting.

Have people grown so self-centered and uncaring about other people's feelings that they think posts like this are appropriate without asking the immediate family's feelings on the matter? It seems to me it's a self-serving grab for attention and sympathy without any respect for the immediate family of the deceased. I really cannot find a way to forgive her actions. -- HURT AND ANGRY IN THE EAST

DEAR HURT: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your mother. What happened is one of the regrettable aspects of living in the 21st century. Your cousin may be part of the generation that thinks every detail of their lives must be put online for consumption by an audience waiting with bated breath. If my guess is accurate, then I agree doing it without first running it by the immediate family was insensitive and thoughtless.

Not knowing your cousin, I don't know whether it was a "self-serving grab for attention." However, what's done is done. It's over. I hope you won't allow this to ruin your relationship with this relative or your memories of your dear mother.

DEAR ABBY: I've always wondered when it's appropriate for a couple to start giving gifts as a couple vs. individually. I've seen couples who start early on in their relationship and others who have been together for what feels like forever who still individually give gifts. -- WONDERING IN TEXAS

DEAR WONDERING: There are no hard and fast rules about something like this. It may depend on all the circumstances involved, and also may have something to do with how independent from each other the couple is.

DEAR ABBY: In the last few years I have had a string of failed relationships. Nothing bad happened, and there were no fights or arguments. The ladies tell me I'm great and an amazing person. Yet they don't want to be in a relationship, or they cheat or lie to me.

I'm a very open, understanding guy. I believe communication is key to success in any relationship, and that together, there isn't much a couple can't overcome. It seems many women come from abusive relationships or just plain toxic ones, and they are scared because I don't exhibit any of those traits.

I'm a kind, caring, supportive partner. If you had a bad day, I want to hear about it. You had a good day? Let's talk about that. You want to go out with your friends? Go for it. Have fun and be safe! You want to go out with me? Don't worry about bringing your pocketbook -- I got this.

I'm looking for a partner, someone who eventually may become my queen. These women love that about me but then do everything to distance themselves. It appears nice guys finish last. I'm not bad looking -- I'm 34, go to the gym regularly, no kids, no marriages. I was engaged for four years previously.

I'm ready to give up on relationships altogether; the pain just doesn't seem worth it. After a while, though, it gets lonely. Please give me some advice. -- SOMEBODY'S BOYFRIEND IN MICHIGAN

DEAR BOYFRIEND: Something is clearly wrong here. Where are you meeting these women who cheat and lie? You may need to go fishing in different waters. And has it occurred to you that in your loneliness you may be trying too hard, which may scare them off?

Having never met you, I can't guess what you might be doing wrong, if anything. It's time to start asking your married friends why they think this is happening repeatedly. Perhaps they can suggest some "tweaks" or introduce you to women who will appreciate the fine qualities you possess.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's first wife died 17 years ago. They were married for 20 years. We have been together 14 years, married for 12. He still insists that her family is his family because of their daughter, who is an amazing young woman. We have an ongoing disagreement about this.

He can't understand why I refuse to attend functions that include only his late wife's family. He doesn't feel my family is his family, only his first wife's family. When he attends these functions alone, he comes home very angry. He tells me I don't understand and that I need to go where he goes.

I am sorry, Abby, but after another intense disagreement, I'm ready to call it the end of the road. We are both in our 60s, and it's kind of late in life for a divorce, so I would appreciate any advice you could give me. -- ARGUING A LOT IN MONTANA

DEAR ARGUING: Unless your husband's former in-laws have made you feel unwelcome, I think you should have made a greater effort to accompany him to some of those gatherings. Frankly, I am surprised you would seriously consider ending your marriage over the fact that he still considers them to be family. If ever I thought a couple should get marriage counseling, it is you two. Please consider it before consulting a lawyer.

DEAR ABBY: My son and his fiancee, "Breanna," have planned a destination wedding in another country. Breanna's mother's family vacations there every couple of years, so they decided to have the wedding there when her extended family will be vacationing.

The reason Breanna gave me was that she is embarrassed by some of my family members and doesn't want to introduce them to her family, so a destination wedding eliminates those people from attending. When I told Breanna's stepfather what she said, Breanna denied ever making the statement!

I told my son how hurt I am that she doesn't want our side of the family to attend (including his father, brother and myself), since the cost for travel and accommodations will be approximately $3,500 per person. He said he doesn't want to ruin her special day and changed the subject.

I would love to see my son get married (even though I have a bitter taste in my mouth), but we can't afford to attend unless we take out a second mortgage or dip into our 401(k). Are we bad parents for not attending our own son's wedding? -- STRUGGLING MOTHER OF THE GROOM

DEAR MOTHER: That your son's fiancee verbalized what she did is shocking. It shows how little respect she has for your feelings and her lack of manners or class. A marriage is supposed to be a blending of TWO families, something this young woman -- and her family -- appears unwilling or unable to recognize. That your son would accept this because their wedding is "her" day is disappointing. Under the circumstances, you and your family should not go into debt to attend this wedding.

DEAR ABBY: I am a father of four. My sons are 62 and 52. The older one calls me about every two months; the younger one hasn't called me in nearly two years. One of my daughters last spoke to me three years ago. My remaining child, a daughter, stays in regular contact with me about once a week. They all live far away out west. I have tried to contact each of my children lovingly, but have not been successful for the most part.

I now have end-stage cardiac disease and will soon be joining hospice. When I do that, I'll be faced with the decision of how much to tell my kids about my condition. In view of our distant relationships, I'm not inclined to tell them very much, since they have been so unresponsive in the past. I would welcome your suggestions. -- PONDERING IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR PONDERING: I am sorry about your diagnosis. I don't know whether something caused the distance between you and your three older children, or whether they are completely focused on themselves and their own lives. I do think you should disclose to all of them what is going on so amends can be made if possible. And, of course, the daughter who is close to you should know so she can be as supportive as she has always been and begin preparing herself emotionally for what is coming. She may also be helpful in spreading the word among her siblings.