DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old girl and a sophomore in high school. Last year I went to school across the country. While I was there, I became best friends with this girl, "Amelia." We did everything together, and Amelia even flew back here to visit my family when school ended and I had to go home.

It has now been a few months since I've seen her, and so much has changed. She doesn't make time to text or call me hardly ever, and when she does, it's always a quick conversation. Because of the time difference and our schedules, I get that it's difficult, but shouldn't she make some time for her best friend?

Amelia and I were as close as sisters, and I can't stand the thought of losing her. I have already called her out a few times, and we are good for a few days, but then she goes right back to pretending like I don't exist. I'd rather not call her out again. Any thoughts? -- FARAWAY FRIEND IN MARYLAND

DEAR FRIEND: Rather than "call her out," it's time to lighten up. Stop trying to make Amelia feel guilty for not giving you the attention she was able to when you were geographically closer. If there's one thing I have learned about friendships, it's that they tend to ebb and flow.

Because you now live apart, concentrate on building other relationships with people close by. This doesn't mean you can't remain friendly with Amelia; it simply means you are expecting more from her than she's able to give you.

DEAR ABBY: The holidays are approaching, and with them a problem. I recently moved back to my hometown after being away for many years, and I was eagerly looking forward to spending the holidays with my daughter. She has just informed me that she's joining a religion that doesn't celebrate holidays, not even Thanksgiving or birthdays. I would never stand in the way of her chosen path, but I'd still like to be able to include her in family get-togethers. I just don't know how. Any suggestions? -- MISSING HER ALREADY

DEAR MISSING HER: Although you will no longer be able to celebrate the holidays with your daughter, you and the rest of the family can still see her and socialize. Talk to her about it and let her set the ground rules. As long as you are respectful, I'm sure she will be glad to give you suggestions about what you can do together.

DEAR ABBY: Early this year my son was killed in an accident. A few weeks later I became ill and was hospitalized. My son's widow looked after me all those weeks. She was known at the hospital by her name and also as my daughter-in-law.

One of my doctors, standing close to her and right next to my bed, asked for and was granted permission to ask her a personal question -- "What happened to your husband?" Was it insensitive of him to ask that in my presence? -- UNSURE IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR UNSURE: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your son. The doctor asked for permission to inquire about something personal and it was granted. That said, if the doctor was aware that you had lost your son a short time ago and your daughter-in-law was a widow, the question could have been asked privately because death is often a subject that's painful to discuss when a person is grieving.

DEAR ABBY: Ever since high school, our adult daughter has had mood swings. My wife and I thought she'd grow out of it as she matured, but she hasn't. At her request we sent her to a university far away, and we were proud that she earned her bachelor's degree. We thought independent living would do the trick, but her personality and behavior toward us didn't change.

She's an only child, and we spoiled her -- bought her cars and paid for college. I asked her to try for scholarships to help us out, but she didn't. She married and had two wonderful kids, but her mood swings persist. When I mentioned she see a counselor or therapist as a way to get some third-party advice and sort things out, she hit the ceiling and told me I was the one who needs therapy. Then she brought up my flaws and my past drinking problem. Granted, I have made mistakes, and I'm not perfect, but I've learned and grown.

After 10 years she divorced her husband. She got custody of the kids and the house. Her divorce cost us a great deal of money. Her authoritative and moody behavior is affecting our grandchildren.

I love my daughter very much and always have. If you were in my shoes, Abby, what would you do for a more healthy and loving relationship for all involved? -- STILL HER DAD IN FLORIDA

DEAR DAD: I would look back and examine all the things I did to foster her behavior. An example would be paying for her divorce. Then I would stop doing them and not resume until she agreed to consult a psychotherapist about her mood swings. Don't do it for her or for yourself. Do it for the sake of your grandchildren.

DEAR ABBY: Before I met my boyfriend of eight months, I planned a 10-day Japan vacation for next year with my best guy friend, "J." We have been friends for eight years, and have never had any romantic interest in each other. Both of us want to visit Japan because it's on our bucket list.

J and I were both single when we started making plans. Then I met my boyfriend. My boyfriend knew from the beginning that this trip was going to happen next year. Because the date wasn't "set in stone" or paid for until recently, my boyfriend thinks I should have called it off. He says I'm making the trip and my friend a higher priority than him, and his feelings are hurt. He said if I was going with a female friend he wouldn't care.

I still want to take the trip. I feel canceling would be betraying my friend J. Am I being a bad girlfriend? -- TRIPPED UP IN THE EAST

DEAR TRIPPED UP: A "bad" girlfriend? No. An independent one, yes. You say your boyfriend has known about this from the beginning, so this wasn't a surprise to him. If he was more secure about himself and your relationship, he would know that J isn't a threat. Not only should you take the trip, you should also use the time away to decide if you want a life partner as insecure as your boyfriend appears to be.

DEAR ABBY: I read that there is a suicide somewhere in the world every 40 seconds. Numbers rise at holiday time. Feeling like a child whose nose is pressed against a window, seeing others from the outside as they enjoy the warmth of the moment, can lead to thoughts of abandonment and despair. That's why I have a mission -- I set an extra place at my table.

I can attest that it works. One year I announced in church that my home would be open to anyone who didn't have a family. A woman came forward and accepted my invitation. We spent the day getting to know each other and bonded in friendship.

Please encourage your readers to set an extra place at their holiday table. My brother committed suicide. I move forward in his honor. -- FULL OF GRATITUDE IN PHOENIX

DEAR FULL OF GRATITUDE: Please accept my sympathy for the tragic loss of your brother. I'm pleased to help spread the word. Isolation can be a killer, and inclusion can be a lifesaver. Bless you for what you are doing. I hope other readers will consider it and follow your example.

DEAR ABBY: I have a dilemma I don't know how to maneuver through. I have been working as an intern at a company for about 18 months. During the summer, I completed a test I needed to become fully licensed in my field.

However, I'm still working in my current position at intern wages, although I have repeatedly requested a meeting with my employer to talk money. He continues to say he doesn't have time, and we will discuss it later. He even agreed to a time on a certain day but failed to show up for the meeting. When I emailed him the amount I want, he replied, "We'll talk about it later." Should I continue to press the issue? Call him? Email? Or just look for other work? -- CONCERNED ABOUT MONEY

DEAR CONCERNED: You have done enough. Pushing your employer further won't help. The ball is now in his court. Start quietly looking for another job -- one in which your skills will be appropriately compensated.

DEAR ABBY: How can I tactfully tell an elementary school teacher in whose class I assist that she uses poor grammar and words that aren't words (i.e., "I boughten this yesterday," or, "Her and me went to the soccer game.")? I am fond of this teacher but feel she's doing a disservice to her pupils. Other than that she's a devoted, energetic teacher. It is really difficult to bite my tongue. -- TACTFUL IN THE EAST

DEAR TACTFUL: Children model their behavior after the example the adults around them provide. That a teacher would consistently do what she's doing in a classroom setting is shocking. How could she have become a licensed educator with such poor English skills?

Politically speaking, I don't think that as her subordinate you should take it upon yourself to correct the woman. I do think this is something you should discuss with the school principal.