DEAR ABBY: I'm worried about a close friend I have known for about 10 years. She's well-educated, independent and family-oriented. She has been online dating for quite a while and continually meets guys who have criminal backgrounds.

She dated one of them on the down low for two years because she was embarrassed by how he behaved in public. The most recent man served a 16-year prison sentence for being involved in a murder.

She tells me she doesn't see a future with any of them, but goes on multiple dates and defends them with, "He seems like a nice guy." In the next breath, she'll claim to want a steady and meaningful relationship.

I have voiced my concerns. I asked her what she'd say to me if the tables were turned, and her responses mimic the concern I show her. I suggested she try a different website or mode of meeting potential partners, but it hasn't made a difference.

I believe in second chances up to a point, but now I'm genuinely worried for her safety. Is there anything else I can do to convince her to have safer boundaries? -- CONCERNED ABOUT CRIMINALS

DEAR CONCERNED: No, you have done enough. Until your friend admits to herself that she's fishing for trout in the wrong stream, she'll continue to reel in sharks.

DEAR ABBY: Is it normal for men to sulk or get angry when they don't get sex when they want it? I've been married to my husband for more than 30 years. I run several miles a day and, with all the work I do, I don't always feel like having sex. Lately, I have been under a lot of stress, so I haven't been in the mood.

The other night, he did his usual sulking. Then, as he often does, he tossed about in bed, repeatedly and roughly, while we're trying to sleep. The whole bed shook. Another night, he stuck his elbow in my ribs to be sure he got my attention.

Sometimes he'll grab my butt really hard while I'm trying to sleep -- in the middle of the night, mind you. I end up having sex with him so he leaves me alone and I can sleep.

I have tried sleeping in another bed. But then he comes to that room and repeatedly kicks the mattress. If I lock the door, he kicks the door. So, I have sex with him so I can live in peace. Do most men do this when they don't get sex as often as they like? -- SPOUSE SULKING IN THE NORTH

DEAR SPOUSE: You have tolerated this for 30 years? What you have described is spousal abuse. Most men do not behave the way your husband does, bullying and coercing their wives into marital relations. Please discuss this with a licensed mental health professional. His behavior is off the charts, and you need more help than I can give you in a letter.

DEAR ABBY: I have a question. If you are traveling with a group of friends on a plane, is it rude for one couple to upgrade to first class? This was a group trip traveling to go on a cruise together. -- JUST WONDERING IN FLORIDA

DEAR JUST WONDERING: I wouldn't call it a breach of etiquette. However, it's less than an expression of solidarity with the friends who are sitting in the back. Personally, I think it sends a wrong message and could cause resentment unless there's a practical reason the couple needs the extra space -- long legs, a bad back, a weight problem, etc.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I work out at the same gym. Over the past several months it has gotten back to me that one of the trainers, "Bob," has been talking negatively about me to some of the other members.

My boyfriend works out with another trainer there, and during his workout, I approached him and his trainer and expressed my anger about what Bob was doing. I said I was fed up and that I wanted to confront him.

My boyfriend told me to keep my mouth shut and say nothing. He said I shouldn't take it personally, that Bob is just being a hater. He also said the person who told me shouldn't have. I disagree. I don't think it matters how it got back to me -- it did!

Last week, while his regular trainer was away, my boyfriend trained with Bob! I feel it was disloyal, but he disagrees. He thinks I should just let it go. What do you think? -- GYM DILEMMA

DEAR GYM DILEMMA: Because the bad-mouthing has happened more than once, talk to the manager of the gym about what's going on. Bob may not like you, but that doesn't give him the right to make the gym an unpleasant place for clients to visit. If your boyfriend were loyal, he would have told Bob to knock it off. And he would not have worked out with him when his regular trainer was away; he would have chosen someone else.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law lives in another state, so she often mails my daughter's gifts to us after she buys the items online. Then she expects me to wrap them. The icing on the cake? She's now saying I need to add bows to these gifts, but she doesn't send any money for the wrapping paper or bows.

I think this is very rude. My daughter thinks her aunt takes the time to purchase these gifts, when she's only pressing a button and that is it. With everyone shopping online more and more, is this a new trend, to have the parents wrap gifts instead of the person giving them? -- ONLINE GIFT GIVING

DEAR ONLINE: It's only a trend if you decide to let it become one. Feeling as you do, it's time you had a discussion with your sister-in-law concerning how you feel about this arrangement and what you expect from her.

DEAR ABBY: My wife of 55 years passed away five months ago and I am lonely. How long should I wait before establishing a relationship with another woman?

A certain lady and I go to church together, so we are well acquainted. I never thought about being with her until my wife died. She and my wife were friendly acquaintances.

What is the right time to wait? Six months? A year? I never thought I could be lonely. Well, think again! -- READY FOR THE FUTURE

DEAR READY: There's no timetable for grieving. If you feel you are ready for companionship, all you need to do is pick up the phone and call the lady you have in mind. To do that is not disrespectful to your late wife. It's a tribute to the happiness you experienced being part of a couple.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has been so-called friends with a man I'll call "Roy" for almost 30 years. During the 23 years I have been in the picture, I have noticed their friendship seems one-sided.

We hear from Roy only when he's down on his luck or needs help moving or lifting something. Last year he began dating someone new. He has had many girlfriends and we have not met a third of them. Since this courtship began, Roy has changed his number at least four times, and each time, my husband has had to call around to get his supposedly best friend's phone number.

Well, Roy proposed (for the first time ever) to this girlfriend. About a week later he texted my husband a photo of the ring with the caption: "She said yes, and you are the best man!" That was over a year ago. My husband still hasn't met the fiancee. But other friends of theirs have been invited on outings and met her during the year.

I feel Roy is using my husband because he knows he makes decent money and can come through to fund all the best man duties. I don't want my husband to keep playing the fool. Is this normal friend behavior? -- PROTECTIVE IN MISSOURI

DEAR PROTECTIVE: No, it's not. Your husband's "best friend" appears to be a user. From where I sit, he is being treated more as a reliable resource than a friend, let alone a "best" friend. However, after 30 years, your spouse may be so accustomed to it that he doesn't know the difference. How sad.

DEAR ABBY: A year ago I met the untouchable Ice Prince Charming and somehow managed to snatch him up a few months ago. But now that he has "defrosted" and we're starting to settle into a relationship, I'm realizing that my "prince" is a bit too charming.

This may sound nuts, but I'm getting sick from all the sugary sweet affection all the time, and I can't get him to answer anything for himself. It's always, "It doesn't matter, as long as I'm with you. It doesn't matter, you're better/your opinion is better. You're so great, amazing, cute, etc. Love you, our kids will be so cute, I wanna marry you, etc." And nothing else. He won't even let me compliment him.

We used to have intellectual arguments, dumb competitions, talk all night about fun things we wanted to do one day or just sit around and snark at each other when we weren't going at our sometimes separate hobbies. I know all every girl wants is her boyfriend to be sweet, so why does it bother me? Am I crazy? How do I get my best friend back? -- UNUSUAL JERSEY GIRL

DEAR JERSEY GIRL: Here's how. Tell him exactly what you have told me. He may be love drunk, but if that doesn't sober him up, then it may be time to find a prince who's less charming and better suited to you.